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9/9/2019 c1 20The Rhombus
This was quite a joyous surprise to read. :) I must admit that the lack of a greater focus on Datum, Axiom, and the leaf-eater gang is one of my greatest regrets thus far in Mender's Tale. It is a bit unavoidable in my tale due to the focus on Mender, the hidden runner crisis, and the implications of that crisis, but it is still great to see the interactions of these characters from the viewpoint of another author. Let me just say from the beginning that you have done a fantastic job in capturing the essence of these characters, the nature of their personalities, and how they interact with one another.

It is quite understandable that Datum would be uncomfortable with the idea of keeping secrets from his friends despite the fact that he knows that such secrecy is necessary for the good of both his friends and the cultural development of the world. Despite his young age he is quite wise, as is his sister, but this does not dampen the sense of being unfair to his friends by not sharing the same level of trust with them as they would share with him. Nonetheless, it is very in-character for him and his sister to have a bit of fun at their friends' expense when they decide to spy a bit on them. The resulting confrontation, and its resolution, was both humorous and heartfelt. At no point did I see the characters as being OOC. In fact, your depiction of Malka was spot on. :p Thank goodness the rainbowface kids are there to save the gang from time to time.

Although the story itself is not one with a dramatic ending or a thrilling conclusion to its narrative arc, I think that it does an excellent job of elaborating on the relationship between these characters and the personalities of the rainbowface children. The fact that I could very easily see the events of this story being canon in my story is a testament to that. Thank you very much for sharing this story with us. :)
9/7/2019 c1 26Keijo6
It’s always nice to see a story filling some blank spot on the Seven Hunters continuity and Tricia, her friends as well as the rainbowface children certainly are some of those. Especially Tricia’s group has had a modest part in the “main” stories and I’d say you did them justice here. The opening sequence was a familiar one as it was quite reminiscent of the old Gang but soon, things got more interesting. The entire premise of them wanting to find out the truth about Datum and Axiom is very believable and quite reminiscent of a recent story of mine.

The two siblings’ conversation was a rather good one as was Datum’s efforts to save the situation. It’s very clear he’s extremely clever and the way he prevented the cultural contamination was quite fun to read. Yet, in the end his friends were forced to abandon their hopes of finding out any “truth” at least for now. Yet, it’s apparent that Tricia still is determined to hear the rainbowfaces’ explanation one day.

My feelings about the ending are a bit mixed. As Anagnos said, it’s nothing special in terms of drama or memorability but on the other hand, it underlines the unlikely friendship between the two siblings and the others, something we haven’t seen in Rhombus’ stories. Likewise, it made a good contrast to the earlier feeling of curiosity with a sense of pure appreciation and warmth which in turn implied that the group's friendship is stronger than the gap created by their vastly differing levels of knowledge. The ending could have been more intense but as it is, it also shines some important line to a detail in Rhombus’ universe that deserved some emphasis.

That being said, this was a very interesting read. I’m always positively surprised when someone wishes to expand another author’s stories and you’ve done that very well here. This was also an excellent way to utilize your eccentric prompt so despite the rather quiet ending, this was another solid fic from you.
9/6/2019 c1 8Anagnos
This certainly was an interesting take on more of the uncharted territory of the rainbowfaces inner way of life that is seldom articulated in fiction in a way that emanates dividual knowledge about them. The fic was built very well and I really liked the idea of expanding the narrative in comparison like it used to be. The characters themselves were portrayed as one might have expected, but I did have a few irks to point about some of the dialogue. There were a few issues along the way, but we’ll go through them a bit later.

As the story developed, we are introduced another side to these until now pretty much uncared characters and a much deeper look into their lives and to witness each of the leaf eater gang trying to come to terms with their strange friends and the surreptitious life they’re most desperate to shield others from learning the truth which is very self-evident in showing that albeit Datum and Axiom must deal with these secrets themselves, at least for now, they can always count on their friends to be there for them when they need them. Even Tricia, whom seemed to be an exact replica of the good old Cera before being turned into a predator against her will.

The issue I mentioned earlier was that the story just ended too quickly without much of an absorbing conclusion. Adding a rousing ending to story that despite being one without conflict or bloodshed, could’ve prevented this story from being turned into a unsuspenseful tale. I must also point about the dialogue that a word like counterintuitive, really sounds like something only the rainbowfaces would say, not the gang.

Overall, this was still a good entry for the prompt challenge and one that was definitely underutilized before you changed all of that in a flash. Very well done, Owls!

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