Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Fourth Route

4/25 c53 surviversp
Thank you for the wonderful story. It was an enjoyable read from start to finish and I will definitely look forward to the next arc whenever you feel up to creating it. The character interactions and personalities have been great. I was frequently left grinning at the conversations they had throughout the story.
I would definitely recommend other potential readers to give it a shot. Thank you again for all the time and effort you put into creating this.
4/22 c28 13JDH1080
The city is fucked? Well so is Shirou.
4/22 c27 JDH1080
Okay so this is the first time in a long while that I've logged in, but I felt that I needed to comment here, for obvious reasons as I'm sure you can guess by which chapter I'm at.

So your roast of this guy, I know it's probably been a long while, but kudos to you for standing up. I don't know what he was hoping for, but he surely got burned.

I will say that this is a good story. I have enjoyed it and I'm honestly not easily impressed. There are some nitpicks that I feel hold this story back a bit in my eyes.

The grammar isn't perfect. I've noticed a few bits here and there where the grammar wasn't quite as good. But you state that you're aware that your grammar in fanfiction is a C. To me it's more than competent. I've read some pretty bad fanfics that I've noped out of after the first paragraph. The fact that you been able to keep me engaged for 27 chapters is great. And also I can't really say much about grammar, since mine isn't all that great either.

Another thing is that this story honestly doesn't feel like a Fourth route, just more of an alternate universe. Which is more than fine. When clicking on this story I initially thought it would start out like the VN only with focus on Illya as the main heroine and Berserker as the heroic spirit who receives the most attention (Ie how in UBW Rin is the heroine and Archer gets the most focus as the heroic spirit or in HF Sakura is the main love interest and Rider has the most focus as the heroic spirit.) I didn't expect Shirou to have able completely redone back story and for things to go the way they have.

I can't decide on whether I'm pleased or disappointed by that. On one hand I didn't get what I expected and was interested in reading, but on the other hand I have enjoyed what you've given. This story is good.

One last thing. The pacing is honestly a bit fast. I know we're nearly 30 chapters in and we're well into this story but it feels like it's been constant progression with no break. I'm surprised that as far in as we are we're only on like the fourth morning and yet so much has already gone down. I feel like there could have been more build up or time for Illya and Shirou to spend time learning more about each other before things kicked into gear.

I know my review my sound like more criticism than praise and it is. But don't get me wrong I have enjoyed this story and do intend to keep reading. The guy who felt the need to insult you is in the wrong. This story is not at all toxic, and despite the flaws I feel it has, it is one of the better stories I have read in my long time on this site. Is it the best? No. But it doesn't have to be. It's good, and I'm glad you took the time to write it. So thank you.
4/15 c9 B1ackAshes
Well that was quite the interesting chapter.

It's very entertaining to watch Shirou and Caren banter with each other. They have a rather odd relationship. I think I'd like to see them interact more.

Illya's reactions are quite amusing indeed. She kinda reminds me of the Prisma version a bit.

Sakura... I'm still not quite sure what to think of her... While one would think that her life would've turned out vastly better with her "grandfather" out of the picture, that does not seem to be the case...
4/15 c8 B1ackAshes
Holy shit, Shirou...

Gotta feel sorry for Illya. I imagine she never would've expected to deal with this kind of thing, not in her wildest dreams.

Sakura is not quite what I expected. I was also very surprised to see who her servant was.

I think you did a great job with Caden's portrayal in just this one chapter. Great work.
4/15 c7 B1ackAshes
Damn, quite the epic chapter. I greatly enjoyed Shirou's battle with Kotomine and I think it was rather well handled. Shirou's little stunt feels familiar too...

The pacing of this story feels a little sluggish to me, but that's probably just because I'm used to very long chapters. The pacing is probably objectively fine as each chapter seems to focus on a new event.
4/15 c6 B1ackAshes
Damn, you really nailed Kirei Kotomine's portrayal here. His relationship with Shirou is also certainly interesting.
4/15 c5 B1ackAshes
Damn, Shirou is pretty impressive in a way. Pretty damn twisted too from what I've seen so far. Illya was right on the mark in what Kiritsugu had turned Shirou into.

I wonder how Shirou and Illya will deal with the 'fake Priest'?

It's also nice seeing how Shirou's and Illya's relationship is gradually developing.
4/15 c4 B1ackAshes
That vision from the Grail was seriously fucked up... Poor Illya... And poor Kiritsugu.

So far, this story feels like an alternate universe continuation of Fate/Zero. It's progressing slowly, but it's certainly been interesting enough so far. Keep up the good work.
4/15 c3 B1ackAshes
... Holy shit, Kiritsugu.

First off, goddamn, he really screwed Shirou up. Like, moreso than in canon. It'll be very interesting to see more of Shirou...

Second off, I see where Kiritsugu is coming from in wanting to help his daughter, but still...

It seems like Kiritsugu was a helluva broken man after the end of the Holy Grail War...

Interesting story so far. Looking forward to seeing more of it.
4/15 c2 B1ackAshes
Hmm, nicely handled so far. I'm interested in learning more about how Shirou and Kiritsugu differ from their canon selves as well as how Ilya's past turned out.

Chapter felt a bit short, but it works well.
4/15 c1 B1ackAshes
What a very interesting beginning... Bit silly in a way, what with how Illya tripped and fell, but it also feels like this story will be darker than canon.

Shirou may he more skilled here, but I feel that he may also be more broken. Likewise, Illya had quite the rough childhood from the sound of it.

I look forward to reading more.
4/14 c8 5CrowKrowQrow
Loved the chapter.
Considering in this AU of yours Shirou is even more fucked up I feared for Sakura, she was never my favorite girl from the series, but she was already so unlucky I really dislike reading about her suffering even more. Glad it wasn't the case.
Was hoping for a Kiritsugu Assassin, but Jack is interesting too and makes for a good comedic relief with Illya... Not sure how Caren fits in there, but nice to see someone bothering Shirou.
4/14 c4 CrowKrowQrow
Really good chapter, the writing and dynamics of Illya and this Shirou were very good. This is definitely the most fucked up instance of the Emiya family I read about... Can't wait too see where it goes.
Just a bit sad about seeing Avalon go, don't really need to see a summoned Saber but the sheat itself was a good Deus Ex Machina for whatever situation that should've killed Shirou that emerges later on.
4/9 c39 Skywolf99
while i do enjoy me some trolly zelretch, caring garmpa zelretch is pretty good too
742 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 13 .. Last Next »

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service