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8/18/2020 c1 Silas
This was a nice little short story. I’d be interested in reading more.
2/28/2020 c1 10sarista wow
This was amazing, you did an incredibly job altering and weaving the early DB story line to make all of this work and it honestly felt so natural and well built.

Be it from all the characters perspectives from Bulma's rescue, her doing good but being worded out by it is so fun, to Chichi not working with Roshi and the Ogre that feels a perfect fit for the tone, Yamcha's involvement, her dads plan, aaaah it all worked so well!

Plus it was just generally very cute, their interactions felt natural and well done, and you handled her voice very well I think, haha, having grown up with the English dub it is weird for me to see Chichi as a 'country girl' but it worked well.

The time-skip did its job and the idea of Chichi missing all the world ending event stuff but still getting so strong is a bit of a surprise, but also makes her interactions with the cast and Piccolo utterly hilarious, though also poor her not being recognized XD

I was a touch worried about how you were gonna handle Yamcha, but I was glad to see it was not a real issue and he was chill. Also Krilling's "Met god" lines were amazing and the background stuff with the turtle and crane schools teaming up to take down Piccolo is great story fodder.

Bulma having a preference for beefcakes suits her well, and so while her feelings came on quite quickly, this is also Bulma we're talking about and she and Chichi gelled very well. The fate of Piccolo is a rare one but clever, I guess Kami stays as a dragon clan in this?

Whatever the case a cool and fun story, thanks for sharing!
12/18/2019 c1 1Lonely Matilda
I thought that this story was lovely, endearing and very funny! The chemistry between the two feels natural (suspending the disbelief that Chi-Chi would continue to care after so long, but that was in the manga as well) and I found the interactions between the two very sweet. I like that you did not make a big deal out of two girls loving each other, even when Launch made the comment about if marriage was possible. The entire passage where Chi-Chi goes to Hell Valley to retrieve the Bansho Fan was absolutely hilarious!

Maybe the ending was a little long-winded. I wasn't sure how I felt about Chi-Chi's "farmer accent" but I appreciate that you didn't want to just write her dialogue in perfect English and then just say that she was speaking in an accent. Overall it's not a big deal. Really good job!

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