for Borne of Caution5/14 c69 Hehe
emotions
emotions
5/12 c81 kashi koro
Mary Sue Shinx ftw I suppose. But I guess she does need something that could let her develop to the tiers of Lee’s other Pokemon. I just wished it wasn’t this. The intelect role was supposed to be Octilerries. It would have been better to give her unusual move learning or something disjointed from her levels. Like learning Thunderous Terrain naturally. Or Like instead of naturally learning Spark she instead naturally learns Payback or Double Edge. Instead of naturally learning Bite she’d instead get Zen Headbutt. Instead of naturally learning Charge she’d learn Detect instead, etc. That would have been cool and would really sell her as a unique team member and an anamoly like the rest of his team. While also providing Lee a subject to research on move development to let him, and us, learn about how and why a Pokemon would develop disjointed moves that they’ve never been heard pf using or usually develop much later in their progression. It just feels like doubling up on brainy types and making one of them obsolete for no apparent reason.
Mary Sue Shinx ftw I suppose. But I guess she does need something that could let her develop to the tiers of Lee’s other Pokemon. I just wished it wasn’t this. The intelect role was supposed to be Octilerries. It would have been better to give her unusual move learning or something disjointed from her levels. Like learning Thunderous Terrain naturally. Or Like instead of naturally learning Spark she instead naturally learns Payback or Double Edge. Instead of naturally learning Bite she’d instead get Zen Headbutt. Instead of naturally learning Charge she’d learn Detect instead, etc. That would have been cool and would really sell her as a unique team member and an anamoly like the rest of his team. While also providing Lee a subject to research on move development to let him, and us, learn about how and why a Pokemon would develop disjointed moves that they’ve never been heard pf using or usually develop much later in their progression. It just feels like doubling up on brainy types and making one of them obsolete for no apparent reason.
5/12 c81 Blue-Happens
most fanfic that reach this number of chapters are bloated, or slowly lose the pacing, or are incredibly short individual chapters.
this has none of that. very consistent quality, well maintained story and character arcs, and vivid characters. the internal logic of the story is practically bullet proof.
and yet. this is more than competently written in every way i know how to analyze, but something is missing. its not bland, per say. there are well written highs and lows in this story, moments of conviction and doubt. maybe its because it hasn't been finished yet, or something else unknown.
its practically professionally written, and an enjoyable read, but not awe inspiring. doesn't capture my spare thoughts like truely riveting stories do.
this isn't helpful or constructive criticism, as i dont have the words. idk. good luck to the author with whatever they're doing today
most fanfic that reach this number of chapters are bloated, or slowly lose the pacing, or are incredibly short individual chapters.
this has none of that. very consistent quality, well maintained story and character arcs, and vivid characters. the internal logic of the story is practically bullet proof.
and yet. this is more than competently written in every way i know how to analyze, but something is missing. its not bland, per say. there are well written highs and lows in this story, moments of conviction and doubt. maybe its because it hasn't been finished yet, or something else unknown.
its practically professionally written, and an enjoyable read, but not awe inspiring. doesn't capture my spare thoughts like truely riveting stories do.
this isn't helpful or constructive criticism, as i dont have the words. idk. good luck to the author with whatever they're doing today
5/11 c57 Blue-Happens
i hope this is a red herring and not a red flag with the birch indoctrination, would suck a lot if the group gets split
i hope this is a red herring and not a red flag with the birch indoctrination, would suck a lot if the group gets split
5/7 c42 AvirRapter
ENTIRE CHAPTER JUST POPS OFF? Peak?
Holy Hells on wheels. Beautiful. Genuinely. This is beautiful.
ENTIRE CHAPTER JUST POPS OFF? Peak?
Holy Hells on wheels. Beautiful. Genuinely. This is beautiful.