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11/9/2020 c1 2k+Hawki
I can't comment too much, since I don't know the context, but the writing is good. Flows well, and is structured well, even if it's short.
9/22/2019 c1 23Danny Barefoot
They are a right old bunch of eccentrics on Alpha Centauri, aren't they? Starts off with a rather shocking description. The ending was very poignantly written, especially as I thought Cha was about to get eaten by a sea monster; it's a kind of mock happy ending since he's still in a dire situation. The assumption that the followers who were eaten lost faith is a great point that says a lot. Cha's fanaticism and subdued reaction to a genuinely desperate situation come out well. 'made the gesture' might be more appropriately formal than 'did'. It's a very good piece.
9/22/2019 c1 10Anla'shok
This is frightening, tragic and somewhat beautiful.

Frightening because the absolutist cult-way of thinking always gives me shivers (as lyrical as it may be, and even if it's what gives Cha his unwavering bravery -and as usual I totally buy the way you write every faction leader). It's also frightening because if the Planet learns from Cha's mind, it will learn that it deserves to be wholly worshiped and that those who fail to do so deserve to be destroyed. There is no empathy or nuances in that kind of thinking.
Tragic because he's not wrong about the planet being abused. I wonder what now, if the Planet will use his knowledge to coordinate an assault on the Hive (I kind of wish it hadn't been the pretty-much-perfect-villain Hive, maybe the Morgans, because at least the Morgans treat their people well, and so absolute destruction at the planet's hand would still feel like a tragedy.)

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