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8/22/2020 c12 Guest
I enjoyed your story but you need to have your Betta check your phraseology it is obvious that English is not your normal language keep up the good work
5/16/2020 c2 Bijousmom
I'm sorry, but I can't read any farther. I find myself trying to insert, delete, or rearrange the words so that I can understand the meaning. I really can't find a storyline. Please, please get some help with editing!
4/9/2020 c2 swalkp
I am sorry but you need someone to proofread this for spelling and grammar issues. I cannot go farther.
12/16/2019 c7 Nakoosay
If you enjoy writing and it helps you relieve stress, I recommend you continue to write. Remember, no matter how good at doing something people are, writers included, there is always more to learn. I’ve found that reading stories by other authors is helping shape my style. Also, learning to know your characters better, Jess and Slim, is very helpful. I’ve watched the episodes several times. I’m still picking up part of their personalities, their past and dreams. Having a beta is great. Look upon your Beta as a supportive teacher. Your basic story was good. You’ll learn how to enhance them. It’s true of most things we learn, to get better, we need to read, practice, study, watch and ask questions. I’m looking forward to your next story. Take care!”
12/14/2019 c12 18Saddletramp
Your writing definitely smoothed out in the later chapters I still didn't "get" how Lucille kidnapping and keeping the men was taking revenge out on her Uncle. Next time, please don't have two characters with extremely similar names. It was hard to keep them separate. Don't give up. We all grow with experience.
12/13/2019 c12 emoody515
It turned out to be a good story. Just go slow and read everything two or three times to make sure it is good before you post
12/9/2019 c11 emoody515
The story is progressing well. However, you keep switching Matty to Marty. You need to clean that up.
11/20/2019 c7 emoody515
I’m glad Slim is on the hunt for Jess and the others are on to Marty. Just hope they are in time to save Jess
10/30/2019 c2 5Laramie Station
Looking forward to the next chapter
10/14/2019 c3 Laramie Station
Still a little disconnected but showing good progress in your writing.
Keep going.
10/1/2019 c1 fayeglenda
I am so glad you decided to start back writing this one as I am enjoying it.
9/25/2019 c1 emoody515
This isn’t new. So what happened to the other posting

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