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for Angel: Momento Mori

1/26 c2 GuessingGuest
Interesting! Keep going.
10/31/2019 c1 14myheadsgonenumb
Good first chapter - I like your more descriptive paragraphs about Wesley and his scar at the very beginning, it's a nice set up for where his head's at and how he's coping with the knowledge of the two different timelines. I'd love to see more of that introspection developed in future chapters.

The dialogue was great - although the actual introduction of the other characters felt a little bit rushed, especially compared to the really detailed (and great) intro of Wesley . Faith was just suddenly there and then boom so was Angel. You've kept this chapter very tight word count wise, so you can afford to take a bit more time moving characters around and not lose pace.

And if you want it to appear as a sudden cut to a different scene, you could separate the paragraph for the new scene out further from the previous one by using the line in the doc editor - or sticking a hashtag on it's own line between them, or some dots ... it just makes the formatting a bit clearer for the reader that you have jumped scene - and that Angel hasn't just randomly materialised :)

But this is a great start. The Darkfrost contingency is a really interesting idea and the characters are well realised. Can't wait to read more.

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