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7/23 c3 Guest
Nice
1/15 c1 Dameon
This story couldve been written better :/
11/29/2019 c1 Guest
One day Sonic was merrily frolicking through Hydrocity Zone like a merry little frolicker when he accidentally went the wrong was like a drunk asian female driver, only he didn't kill anyone lol he just kept running and running and running and running until he finally cumed to a stop "Well gee golly wiz, this part of Hydrosity doesn't seem too familyear to my spinky blue memory" sayd Sonic it would just so happen he was In Bikini Bottom (coz it's under the sea so it's near Hyrocity K?) suddingly a jellyfish swimd bye and following said jellyfish was the tall dark and handsome SpongeBob who was following the fish of jelly with a nat, he swung his nit with much grace, passion and sexness, the amazing nut swinger caught Sonic's attention "Wow, now that's a guy I'd like to get to know a little beter" said Shonik as he admired the awesome nek swinging, jellyfish kidnapping spunge, "Well hi there mr blue spiky man with blue spikes flowing in the wind like a see of blue spiks (xept that don't rob ppl lol k im nt race-ist) " cheered Spingeboob "U LUK LIKE CHEEZ" said Sonic flubbergastedly. SpongeBich then looked very very displzed by wot Sonic sez (lol get it?)…

SpongeBob cried sexily like a sexy sexy sponge guy "My cousin Black Jack used to call me cheez all the tiem and wen he did I got reaped in th shower" cried Spinge "Oh how I miss our showery fun fun time" Sonix' face then grew to be really fucking happy " You liked shower secks?" said Sonick "Oh most certainly sir!" said the delighted Spongy sponge "Well" said Sonic "I'd hate to see you remain upset for the rest of your meaningless life" to which SpogBob replyd "Would you do the honor of scrubbing my poopdeck?" and then Toot toot Sonic warrior said "Derka derka derka, oh boy how I could love so do the scrubbing of your poop dick!" Then they went back to the Pineapple and engaged in coitas "Eep!" said SpongeBimb "GTFO GARY!" "Don't worry babe, I got this" said Sawneek, Sonic then homing stomped Gary and sent him flying out the window and hit Squidweird in face balls lol. Then Sonic said "Let's get down to bizness, to make love to your buns! Did they send me Squidward, when I asked for Sponge? You're the saddest cunt I've ever met, but you can bet before we're through, SpingeBinge I will come all over you!" Sonic sung angelically. "I love it when you talk Disney to me!" said SpongeBob while lathering his nipples in lubricant "What the hell is a Disney?" said Sponic "It doesn't matter" said SpitchBitch, "I have many holes, take your pick you magnificent beast!".

Sonic then proceesed to put his index fingar and middle fingur on his right hand inside the holes on Sponge's head and inserted his phallus into his bottom by twisting Spinge's lower half around "Wow, even Patrick ever thought to do that! This is what I call multitasking!" said SpongeBob, then Sonic retracted his finger and genital from SpongeBob's variety of hold and said "Spongey baby, I gots to deficate" so then Sonic couched over Spongebob's lubricated nips and poo pood all over them, then Sonic and Spongebob giggled with glee (not the TV show, that's gey) "Now it's my turn to return the favour" said SpongeRichard as he thrusted his cock shaped smelling device all the way into Sonic's blue spiky anus "That's way past cool, SpongeBib!" said Sonic while he orjizzemd all over Gary, "Meow" said Gary "God damn it" said Sonic "Take a hint and get out of our secks!" then Sonic cock whipped Gary in the face and Gary fell into the darkest depths of hell. "Sorry for sending your pet to hell" said Sonic "I don't care, he didn't have feelings anyway" said SploogeBob as he took his snozzle out of Sonic's rectum. They then engaged in many hours of vigorous secksy times in which Sonic got the pleasure of tasting sweet Spongy cum for the first time ever and SpongeBob first experienced fisting for the first time because Patrick doesn't have fists. Then Patrick walked in dun dun duuuun…
11/15/2019 c3 2Aker-ldh
Hi. I'm another fandom-blind visitor from the WA challenge, who is curious what others have written :). And I'm very glad I read yours. It's amazing.

I was a bit wary about the horror theme (reading your story before going to bed), but, boy, did I not expect that. It reminded me very much of a film I once saw, which began weird but reasonably sensible (yours is plain weird :P – in a very intriguing way), only to drift into complete madness. I'm not sure, how you managed to capture that, but the increasing obsession, desperation and finally loss of control and desperation of another kind – combined with the always present, all-encompassing hunger – are almost tangible. And disturbing. You made me look up the game, and I think you are describing the character's view on his being controlled by the player? Yes, disturbing indeed. How am I supposed to ever going to be able to innocently play a game for joy again?! ;)

I also like your writing style. It's easy-flowing and easy to follow. It's even barely noticeable that the story is made up of drabble puzzle pieces. The drabbles as such are well rounded, but fit smoothly together to form the story. Maybe it can be argued, if they are truly separate pieces, but the way I read it, each one conveys another idea, connected by a common theme (or two, really: the hunger and the game mechanics). I liked the way they still managed to flow into one another.

Since I don't know the game, I probably don't understand every detail of your story, but the way it is written it doesn't feel like it. Perhaps because we see everything through Puck's eyes, feel his feelings, think his thoughts, there are few things that threw me out of the story. In its own, twisted way, the story is plausible and very compelling (did I mention disturbing?). And with a rather sad ending. Despite Puck's extremely strange nature, one can't help to feel with him in his despair and helplessness at the end. His changing view of things is very well portrayed.

I don't know, whether this portrayal of the character is inherent to the game or a child of your own imagination, but it makes for an impactful and pretty unique (for me at least) view at a game.

Nice jab at the (at times non-existent) abilities of players, by the way.

In conclusion: I really wouldn't know, how describe the story as a whole except as, er, disturbing :P, but it's very well written and will probably haunt me for a while. Success in the horror dept. there, I would say!
11/8/2019 c1 Guest
You suck
11/3/2019 c3 13MagpieTales
Hi Wildebunny, here from WA. Completely fandom blind here - so I have no idea what sort of creature Puck is, but I can tell he's not human.

I like the way this is structured as three acts, with the drabbles like little contained acts too. I think you did a great job of sitiching them into a story. I also really liked how simple you kept that story; it accentuates the darkness. If there's humour here its pretty bleak humour, but it's like a good old-fashioned fairytale, the kind where the wolf eats the little girl in one bite... Very enjoyable!

You play with some great horror themes too, not just the canabalism, but also the loss of control Puck feels when he's being used as a puppet - Puck comes over as obsessed and more than a bit deranged, but you can't help feeling slightly sorry for him once he's trapped. And I love the ending, fits perfectly.

If it falls down anywhere, it's that it wasn't quite clear in a couple places. Like in Ch1, I'm not sure what he's looking for in the mage's tower - just an entertaining spell, or a way to get that taste again? In Ch2, I got confused over the multiple enchantresses, and in Ch3 I'm not sure which Puck is devoured whole. But perhaps that doesn't matter, it kinda works either way.

Didn't spot any SPaG issues, except for these two sentences that should really be joined with a comma:
"Once the enchantress finished her meal. Puck could feel the magic in the air as it swirled around the captive."

Well done, and good luck!
11/3/2019 c3 21CercandoUnaVoce
Disclaimer: I'm completely fandom-blind and horror is definitely not my cup of tea.

Ch1- Given to my aversion for these kind of genre, your beginning was pretty shocking, but surprisingly intriguing.
I found the second drabble a little repetitive with the 'didn't sing-didn't taste the same' mentioned twice so close, but I liked ending the paragraph with 'It wasn't perfect.'
In so few lines you managed to present the character in an effective way and set the action making me wonder what happens next.
The last scene is so well executed, I especially liked the line 'how would he taste like'.

Ch2- We certainly know Puck's motive: hunger. Interesting how you peek in the character's mind as gamers on the other side of the controller drive his body to execute actions.

Ch3- What an anguishing ending. I felt his confusion and distress. Interesting how your narrating character passes from not wanting to help his other version to escape to being the one version begging for help.
For the challenge's scope, I'm not entirely sure the first three drabbles here set separate scences since -it seems to me- there is no change in the narrating voice, space, nor even time.

Honestly, I wouldn't have read this if it wasn't part of the challenge, but I'm glad I now get away with something new in my bag. Having a glimpse in the mind of someone controversial like your Puck is an experience definitely worth to try.

Wish you luck with the contest.
11/2/2019 c3 72MissScorp
Hi there! Here from the WA Drabble challenge! I am fandom blind so you know but that didn’t stop me from following the story and understanding what was going on. Have to say the first drabble really got my attention. Not often that you read about someone eating their sibling and so enjoying it that they chased down another :p

Puck is definitely an... interesting sort. Can’t say I have ever read about something with the hunger pangs he has. It makes me blink in a stunned way and then chuckle at another because he doesn’t see this as a problem. No, his problem is that he can’t find anything else that satisfies him quite as his siblings did. Nobody else sings or tastes like them. This leads him to wondering what he’d taste like if he had a double (FYI, you have “How he would taste like” and it should either be “what” he’d taste like or the “like” at the end should be dropped).

Well, he finally gets what he wants after being tortured for a time by an amateur brute. I swear, I can’t stop chuckling over his giddiness at getting to consume himself. There’s something just not right with Puck. The dryad sobbed as she consumed her doubles. He’s giggling and thinking of how yummy he is!

Aw, poor Puck :/ it’s all stopped being so much fun now that it’s gone on over and over and over. He’s realizing that paradise isn’t so much paradise now. It’s Hell. And he’s going to endure it for an eternity. Nice switch at the end to bring this to a close.

In all a very nice piece. Good luck in the challenge!

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