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for Defiant Until the End

2/12 c4 38ChocolateTeapot
Excellent chapter!

The lycans implying the other envoy was Greyback was interesting. I guess they wanted to see what reactions that would get.

Lily realising she’d made a misstep in her comment and her save was well done.

Not surprised that Lily liked them. Mr Mort was a great suggestion.

Edgar’s suggestion immediately showing that he didn’t really see werewolves belonging to the category of witches and wizards was a good way of continuing to show just how rocky these negotiations were going to be. Edgar and Frank not appreciating the challenging correction but Lily understanding why Rok wasn’t just letting it slide did a nice job showing their backgrounds. This is the first time I felt sorry for Remus in this chaper, but far from the last.

Their discussion about changing British magical society was good. Anya’s sarcastic comment about what the Daily Prophet was headline would be was darkly funny. I liked Frank giving reasons why Lily’s idea might actually help. That was well argued, but of course botched by immediately getting the terminology horribly wrong.

I really liked Lily spelling out why she didn’t think Remus was the right guy for this mission. Anya confirming that Remus was a shitty werewolf helped give more of a feel of lycan values. Lily comforting Remus was kind. His reaction to it, but still being clearly in a spot was excellently done.

Rok’s question of what would happen if he came to visit the Order catching them off balance was great. Who having Remus’ werewolf status be secret was meant to protect him from was interesting. Anya concluding that it was to protect him from the Order and announcing that the Death Eaters already knew was a damning moment.

The discussion regarding who should go to meet the envoy was neat. I liked Lily deciding how to tell Remus that they’d announced it yesterday.

Trying to get Remus to tell them whom he had nearly bitten, and when was good.

Remus revealing that it had been Snape was a powerful moment. Lily’s shock at that was excellently portrayed. Her trying to sort out her feelings, memories flooding in and being angry at Dumbledore were great. I liked that she still managed to give Remus a reassuring gesture, as this really wasn’t his fault.

Frank saying that Remus should apparently go alone was interesting.

Voldemort’s envoy actually being Barty was a great twist. The inner conflict with that they knew him as a decent guy from school was superb.

Lily’s memories of Barty did a good job selling how much of a surprise him being a Death Eater was.

Barty talking about his father worked well.

That the Death Eaters were able to offer something concrete while the Order wasn’t also added a really interesting wrinkle. I loved the detail about the lycans being interested in experimenting with different concentrations of wolfsbane.

Rok’s frustration at the Order’s lack of action was well shown.

I liked how Rok also threw some unexpected points at Barty, and him dealing with it.

Barty going in for the kill by saying that the Order wouldn’t be the slightest bit interested in werewolves if not for Voldemort was devastating. Him suggesting that Remus simply run was good. I liked the detail about Remus’ family.

Lily realising that their hosts were challenging them to fight was great.

The detail about the visual effects of magic was very cool.

The duel was well described. Lily working out that there was a drowsiness spell in play was really nicely done. I particularly liked her blinding Barty. The abruptness the duel ended with worked well.

Lily defending her actions based on her feelings that Barty couldn’t have cast a killing curse on Remus was great.

I liked their discussion about what to do with him and the logistical difficulties.

The detail about Lily’s potion load-out was neat.

The discussion with Rok about what the Order should do was good. I liked Lily’s thoughts about whose lives surrendering would save. Her considerations on the state of the Order were interesting.

Them being stuck with the fact that they couldn’t kill Barty because they knew him, and trying to find an acceptable reason for their hosts why not, was excellent.

The ending was great.
9/19/2021 c6 1Wanderlustatheart
Sirius’s reaction to Regulus news was great!
The loss of the Potter House... so sad.. but it’s good that you wrote about it!
No wonder they monitored students better for the second war. It’s crazy how they didn’t know Regulus had been marked. I always imagined James being confused about Sirius’s relationship with his brother as well. Something he knew he couldn’t grasp.
Wow, the spell that hit James was horrible but smart on Mrs Crouch’s part. Also very different magic, it was interesting to read. It also shows how great Moody is at catching things that are wrong! I liked how you explained how the imperius made people’s minds weak.
I’m not quite sure I understood this Pheonix part, but I think I like it! How did Dumbledore encounter the Pheonix in the first place?
9/19/2021 c5 Wanderlustatheart
I really like how you easily intergrate magical elements and objects without making seem like you just trying to show you’re writing a story in the wizarding world. I flows very naturally.

There’s so much trust between Lily and James.

I’m curious to see what will happen with the Potter mansion. I’m guessing something happened to it, or Harry would have gone to it. Or not? Haha I’m eager to read what you’ll write about it.

You made Lupin’s mom a witch? I thought Remus was a half-blood. Was that on purpose?

« Being entitled to greatness didn’t bring out the best in people. » - loved this

You make James and Lily such optimists. I really like that because I feel like it was always the strength of their relationship, that together they made it seem like a lot more was possible.

The entire wearwolf plot is very realistic and well written.
9/16/2021 c3 Wanderlustatheart
This chapter made me wonder how were pregnancies in the wizarding world. And what about fertility?
After the part where James says « We’ll call him Harry », you wrote « at dad » instead of « a dad » in case you want to change that:)
I really like how Lily looks up to James as well.

Having noble wizards talk to the we’re working is very smart and a good political move! I liked how nervous Lily was because she new nothing about their ways of living. When Edgar Bones said Lily would probably been apprentice to the Unspeakables had she been judged by her character, what did you mean? What are unspeakables?

I loved the way you described Lily’s doe not bouncing around but standing tall. It makes a difference and shows how she grew and how she values herself.
9/15/2021 c2 Wanderlustatheart
This was great! I loved it when James says that his wife isn’t his kid and he should let her do what she needs to do. Lily is a badass.
Also, detail, in your other story ‘Lots of Love’ you say Lily had 7 NEWTS, and in this one she signs on the Daily Prophet that she has 8. Do you want your stories to match? (Knowing that you said Andromeda had 6 and Voldemort had 8)
9/15/2021 c1 Wanderlustatheart
I lVery nice first chapter! I loved having Jame’s thoughts on Andromeda and Nymphadora. I liked how Mad Eye made him realise how scary all of this is. I guessed that since James wandered around in his house without a wand before being killed that he was a reckless character, so it fits well that Moody would constantly repeat that they should be careful. I’m eager to read the rest!
8/29/2021 c3 38ChocolateTeapot
Excellent chapter! I really liked the politics.

The dinner was loads of fun.

I loved the opening line. The description of her flames crafting was great.

Sirius horsing around with the lights got a smile. Him posing with the lights was particularly adorable.

I liked Lily’s thoughts about how here this did not present a tidiness problem for the coming visitors, but how she was glad they were human again because even among friends they had serious secrets in this situation.

The ways magic made pregnancy safer and easier in all respects was excellent worldbuilding.

The exchange with Alice about them actually both being pregnant was very well done.

Peter suggesting he’d bake a cake that barks made me smile.

I liked Lily’s musings about her changed opinion on James as a father.

Lily’s thoughts about the deaths of James’ parents were very good. I liked how that topic came up and its effects on the atmosphere.

The toasts were neat.

Frank summoning Sirius’ drink into his cup in joky revenge was great.

Sirius’ response to the saying that men marry their mothers made me laugh as well.

Them wondering about Remus’ whereabouts was well done. Sirius’ baffled exclamation was a good end to the section.

Meeting Hagrid and Minerva was very good.

The opening felt nicely cosy. Their feelings about the spiced drink were neat and Minerva bringing her own biscuits also got a smile.

Lily not feeling able to outright voice her thoughts about why Remus was not going to be a great argument while the others were acting like he was superb. I really liked Lily asking Minerva if this meant Dumbledore might try to take a more proactive political role.

Lily’s enquiries then moving the topic to an issue where she could share Minerva’s feelings and her remembering that Minerva really was doing her best worked well in ensuring that Minerva continues to feel rational and very sympathetic. The reasoning why they weren’t helping the hostages was a good detail. I liked Lily asking for the details anyway and Minerva saying she’d do what she could.

Her subterfuge in asking Minerva where Remus was was great.

How Lily and James breached the topic once back in Godric’s Hollow was really good. I liked her feelings about being the wizarding world reducing people to an attribute like that. Her feeling bad about comparing Remus to Flich, even if it was an excellent analogy for the situation was a neat touch. Lily outlining why Remus was a completely terrible choice was excellent and her hoping Voldemort would send Greyback was also well expressed. I also liked James quickly understanding this.

James’ suggesting they could use the Potter manor in response to her wondering what they’d do with the hostages if they rescued them was great. Him then causally saying that he wasn’t bothered about the possibility of theft or damage and the outburst of fondness Lily felt at that was a lovely moment. The description of the manor and Lily’s feeling about it was also fantastic. I particularly liked the comparison to an interactive museum.

Him saying that she’d have to hurry to intercept Remus versus what he actually wanted was good. I liked Lily and James’s actions after him saying that.

Edgar asking if they could use magic again was a neat segue. I liked what the restrictions meant for the flight and Lily’s in-flight conversation was fun.

Edgar Bones was nicely introduced. I liked his joke about it hopefully not taking too long.

His comment about this maybe making him an honorary Order member and Lily’s response to that were very good. I liked his attempt at reassuring her. Lily’s frustration about the fact that political progress had failed to happen but her also keeping it in check was well done.

Edgar joking about his family was neat and I also grinned when he mentioned that Amelia would be paying for the trip.

How they apparated to the village only knowing the directions was interesting. The experience of splinching was well conveyed and I liked her banter with Frank.

Lily’s impressions of their environs were nice.

I liked the logistics of them changing and bringing out Arawn. Convincing the owl and Lily’s hopes that it would be clear which village was humorous.

Lily’s hopeful feelings after Remus introducing the werewolves were good.

The slight awkwardness of the security question was nicely handled.

Lily’s nerves upon it sinking in that she really wasn’t prepared for this was well done.

Her wondering if perhaps only pureblood werewolves had such rights was a good detail.

I liked her noting her companions’ reactions when asked for a demonstration of power.

Her summoning her patronus was lovely, as was how it manifested and I liked the detail of her trying not to smile.

The dark magic was excellently described. Lily’s memories of using dark magic as a child worked well in making her feel real beyond the moment of the story. Her gathering her fears was powerful. I loved her utilising it, being suddenly fearless and three feet of the ground.

The fear continuing after the spell ended was also fantastically shown.

Her mixed feeling’s about Frank’s disapproval after that worked well.

Lily taking Anya’s hand was a great end.
4/4/2021 c2 ChocolateTeapot
Excellent chapter! I adored Lily (with Alice’s help) doing some editing of the Daily Prophet.

The description of the crash was good, and I really liked James realising that they weren’t seriously harmed.

James trying to figure out what was happening with the Death Eaters with Bellatrix’s arrival was neat.

The description of Voldemort worked well.

James deciding to try and get Voldemort into a debate for time was awesome.

I liked Voldemort and Bellatrix amusedly talking about Rosier.

James’ being worried that Sirius might get too much into a Black family dinner mood was great.

The details about using Gringotts for meetings was interesting.

I liked James hearing Edward Tonks’ assessment of Moody.

Andromeda answering which elf she had called was nicely done.

James wanting to cry, but mustering a smile for Nymphadora was great. I also really liked how Nymphadora’s feelings were conveyed.

Moody asking Andromeda to act as bait and her laying out why she most certainly would not was excellent. Her not letting Nymphadora listen to this was a fitting detail. Sirius taking Andromeda’s side and James’ feelings about that were very good.

The realisation that James needed medical attention fast was well done. I loved his mix of emotions about Moody carrying him.

The interaction between James and Lily made them seem like a fantastic couple.

Their feelings about being able to say Voldemort because of the security St. Mungo’s provided was a neat detail.

I really liked James asking why she wanted the memory and her smile.

His final line in that section was lovely.

The description of the Prophet’s printing machinery was very cool and I adored the detail about the anti-coffee charms. It was also an excellent lead-in paragraph to what Lily planned on doing.

Lily’s feelings about the memory were very good, particularly the conclusion.

Her thoughts about how the ministry not sending help and how to communicate among the Order were interesting.

Lily deciding on God rather than Merlin was good.

The analysis of the newspaper was excellently done and great worldbuilding. I liked her conceding that the fashion part had some decent commentary, as it made the paper less uniformly awful in its coverage, making it feel more real. The first few pages pretending that all was well before the cracks started showing (but covered with extremely slanted coverage) worked great.

I liked Lily’s thoughts about losing one’s integrity in order to keep one’s job actually having a different calculus in the magical world.

Her commentary edits were superb. Her cropping out Bellatrix was interesting. I really liked her signing her own name.

The reactions to her getting the Prophet to actually report things were very good.

The analysis of the Death Eater’s attack on the Daily Prophet was interesting.

The description of Moody in the hospital bed was good. I liked him telling them to stop talking like he wasn’t there and their response.

James innocently asking if Voldemort had finally figured out they weren’t going to join made me smile.
2/9/2021 c1 ChocolateTeapot
Excellent chapter!

Moody is very well written and does a fantastic job setting the tone.

I loved the opening talking about their different types of clothes, and how James felt about them.

Moody turning his speech first to James then to Sirius worked well. Him making even a butter knife seem dangerous was neat.

“Chickbait” was a quite funny interlude.

Injuring the woman as a distraction and Moody’s dismissive claim that she would be fine worked well in showing how even “good” wizards were quite ready to casually utilise muggles. James’ feelings about muggles having changed was a good detail.

The switch to the besieged Tonkses was very well done.

James asking if anyone else was coming and Moody’s answer were good.

James realising there were also wards keeping them in was very effective.

The unfortunate bees were a good detail.

Him realising just how many Death Eaters there were and reaching a plan was great. I liked him wondering whether he should call for backup.

Him first thinking as McGonagall as Prof McG, and then correcting himself to Minerva was neat.

The transfiguration tactics made for a creative and fun to read fight. James’ thoughts about fighting “dirty” were great. Him adding solid crows to the illusionary ones was also excellent.

The introduction to leader of these death eaters worked very well.

Andromeda helping break through the wards from within was great at providing a moment’s relief.

I liked them getting onto the brooms. The detail about broom miniaturisation was neat.

James’ thoughts about Andromeda sounding calm and comparing her to his mum was perhaps my favourite moment in the chapter.

The fiendfyre felt appropriately hellish. Them struggling to escape the fire was fantastically done. I liked them running up against the death eaters and the death eater’s mistake in casting a spell.

The fire suddenly vanishing was a very intriguing moment, and did an excellent job setting the scene for Bellatrix to get the spotlight. The end is definitely a cliffhanger, though we know from canon that they’re not going to bite it, and reading your other story I also have an inkling why not.
7/21/2020 c6 Paul
Assuming you depict Edgar bones death(and I hope you don't) in curious if you'll kill all of his children, given how I've always noticed the contrast between mad eye saying they got Edgar's family and Marlene McKinnon "while" family (and I'm aware that probably just refers to Susan her parents and Amelia surviving but it's still nice to hope)
7/21/2020 c6 Paul
I only just. Priced this story and am deciding to review all of it so far at once.
Moodys lessons we’re a good opening scene. Bean apparating into the restaurant and the need to cover that up we’re good. Great introspection in having janes feel bad about injuring and mind wiping muggles.
The confrontation with Voldemort was nice as was James calling him out for his hypocrisy in killing the strong. Lily and Alice being journalists was a nice touch and Lily’s sending those newspapers out was maybe the best part so far and arguably should count as a defiance of its own.
The second defiance had some good stuff but it dragged on and I’m not sure if it really feels like a personal defiance of Voldemort as much as simple order of the Phoenix activity.
Sirius reaction to Lily’s pregnancy was cute. Try e description of dragon pox killing janes parents was sad but I like their plans for the manor.
I appreciated the introduction of Edgar first joining the order. Making amelia his aunt and not his sister wasn’t egregious but that (and having Karkaroff expose Barty) fells like you’re taking too much from the movies while trying to stay true to the ages in the books (after all movie snape and Sirius were a whole lot older than their book counterparts).
The distinction between werewolf and Lucan was great world building and provided some nice dialogue for the peace talks.
Lily finding out how Remus attacked Severus was a good scene. I like the guilt and the explanations. You make a good point about how dumbeldores treatment if snape afterwards was unjust.
I loved the scene with Barty even as I was thinking about how they contradicted canon. I applaud you for figuring that out yourself and writing your way out of it. His mother’s actions were in character and impressive although I would argue that it would have made more sense for her to imperius her son into leaving the death eaters if she was going to imperius anyone.
Seeing Sirius reaction to hearing of regulus supposed Death was one of the standout moments of the story, although I feel like it might have also worked in the choices that make us.
Interesting return to Amanda Wilkes and analysis into her loyalties.
11/28/2019 c1 peachydanik
this is such an interesting premise! I really love your writing style and reasoning. The only thing I would say to improve is the odd spelling/grammar mistake? I can tell you know proper grammar, they must have just slipped in! I'm looking forward to new updates! 3
11/13/2019 c2 Paul
Satisfying first defiance is an understatement. Aside from the defiance itself I also liked andromeda’s telling off moody and frank and Alice.
11/3/2019 c1 Purple Muffin
That fxcking cliffhanger. Awesome start. Love having Moody and Andromeda part of this. Don't leave us hanging too long.

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