for Game of Shadows11/15/2019 c4 Raven0900
Hmm other povs are actually pretty good I like the insight it provides. Also don’t worry about fight scenes it’s better to keep them precise then just narrow down to jutsu spam until one of them falls down.
Hmm other povs are actually pretty good I like the insight it provides. Also don’t worry about fight scenes it’s better to keep them precise then just narrow down to jutsu spam until one of them falls down.
11/15/2019 c4 
2PixelatedWriter342
Oddly enough, the best part was the Naruto POV. Shikamaru and Chouji feel like who they are and Eiji is a rather good character. The chapter itself will is much smaller than normal, but I don't feel the quality has diminished at all. Believe in yourself man! You're good at this whole writing thing!
Sincerely,
PixelatedWriter
2PixelatedWriter342Oddly enough, the best part was the Naruto POV. Shikamaru and Chouji feel like who they are and Eiji is a rather good character. The chapter itself will is much smaller than normal, but I don't feel the quality has diminished at all. Believe in yourself man! You're good at this whole writing thing!
Sincerely,
PixelatedWriter
11/15/2019 c4 5a guy1013
Seems okay,but wondering why haven't you try doing the rasengan training unless not enough chakra yet
5a guy1013Seems okay,but wondering why haven't you try doing the rasengan training unless not enough chakra yet
11/14/2019 c3 TehStorm
Great story so far but i hope the MC can learn fuinjutsu as being a master at it would easily make it up to not having a bloodline,hell you wrote a lot of dxd storys so maybe the MC could try to recreate a version of ajuka's formula kankara using fuuinjutsu(though for it to be affective he would have to develop a bloodline that can make his chakra solid like kushina but instead of chains he could make "magic circles" containing the fuin formula).
For his weapons i kinda hope he would get a katana,i mean if he has affinity towards lighting or wind then he could enhance his sword with it.
On another note,i love the way you nerfed "the gamer",in a lot of storys the MC becomes as powerful as a jonin or a kage WAY too fast but i also loved the way you made the mc always try his best in class as i hate storys the mc decides to hide his abilities because he is afraid of danzo or whatever and if minato who was also an orphan could be the strongest of his generation than the MC could be the strongest too,especially with "the gamer" even if it is a nerfed version.
Anyway,can't wait for the next chapter.
Great story so far but i hope the MC can learn fuinjutsu as being a master at it would easily make it up to not having a bloodline,hell you wrote a lot of dxd storys so maybe the MC could try to recreate a version of ajuka's formula kankara using fuuinjutsu(though for it to be affective he would have to develop a bloodline that can make his chakra solid like kushina but instead of chains he could make "magic circles" containing the fuin formula).
For his weapons i kinda hope he would get a katana,i mean if he has affinity towards lighting or wind then he could enhance his sword with it.
On another note,i love the way you nerfed "the gamer",in a lot of storys the MC becomes as powerful as a jonin or a kage WAY too fast but i also loved the way you made the mc always try his best in class as i hate storys the mc decides to hide his abilities because he is afraid of danzo or whatever and if minato who was also an orphan could be the strongest of his generation than the MC could be the strongest too,especially with "the gamer" even if it is a nerfed version.
Anyway,can't wait for the next chapter.
11/14/2019 c3 RamDLC28
are his skills going to have level caps? also if his parents were shinobi wouldn't they have left behind books on fighting styles, chakra control,or even jutsu
are his skills going to have level caps? also if his parents were shinobi wouldn't they have left behind books on fighting styles, chakra control,or even jutsu
11/13/2019 c3 13DarkDrawerJ
Thanks for the chapter! I think it'd be comedic if Eiji had some sort of affinity with Kakashi's dogs better than Kakashi. Show up that Scarecrow
13DarkDrawerJThanks for the chapter! I think it'd be comedic if Eiji had some sort of affinity with Kakashi's dogs better than Kakashi. Show up that Scarecrow
11/13/2019 c3 Zerak
Honestly the original story made the main cast really underwhelming at the start they were weaker than any other group outside their village.
Like they should have at least known about the forest of death as it is on their turf. They would have gone there or around the outskirts of it for survival training.
Also the 3 main jutsu can be really useful for example you can make a clone superimpose on the person and make them have a few extra arms. That way you can’t use the shadows to easily tell who is real and it would make it harder to guess the person’s attack.
You never see them using the disguise jutsu during missions even though they should always use it. Like while outside if it’s not an escort missions they should have it constantly on as it doesn’t take much power. And they would explain why they need it to pass.
And for the replacement jutsu it’s a fucking blink. You can use a midrange weapon and keep blinking around and rain steal on your enemies.
Honestly if it was me the first thing I would do is learn a way to sense people around me meditation could help. Or spread your chakra around you to feel others. It would take a lot of chakra to do so but it can get there.
Sure chakra is a combination of physical and spiritual energy. So having a stronger spiritual aspect through meditation or stronger physical aspect through physical training would help it improve. But at the end of the day you need to train your chakra for it to get better. So I would just experiment with my chakra when ever it was full.
I would see how far it can go, how I can add it to my body, if I can sense people with it. I would also see how fast I regenerate. So I can improve that.
A large chakra pool helps throwing big skills one after another.
But having fast chakra regen would let you keep some skills active a long time.
I would recommend letting the MC try and train using the techniques from Hunter X Hunter for NEN.
There are some really good things from using the 4 basic forms. And NEN and chakra are very similar. You don’t need fancy nen abilities, just the basic training would help and it wouldn’t look suspicious as all he is doing is expanding his chakra outward, then supresing his chakra, then letting his chakra out and supresing it around himself making a layer of protection or pushing chakra into objects. Read more about nen on the Hunter x Hunter wiki.
Also don’t ever using gravity to train like in DBZ as it would kill anyone without the gamers body or some BS ability like a zenki. It would slow the blood flow and kill you or damage your heart. What you want is resistance training if you ever go there. Increase the pressure on your body from all directions sort of like being under a lot of water.
Honestly the original story made the main cast really underwhelming at the start they were weaker than any other group outside their village.
Like they should have at least known about the forest of death as it is on their turf. They would have gone there or around the outskirts of it for survival training.
Also the 3 main jutsu can be really useful for example you can make a clone superimpose on the person and make them have a few extra arms. That way you can’t use the shadows to easily tell who is real and it would make it harder to guess the person’s attack.
You never see them using the disguise jutsu during missions even though they should always use it. Like while outside if it’s not an escort missions they should have it constantly on as it doesn’t take much power. And they would explain why they need it to pass.
And for the replacement jutsu it’s a fucking blink. You can use a midrange weapon and keep blinking around and rain steal on your enemies.
Honestly if it was me the first thing I would do is learn a way to sense people around me meditation could help. Or spread your chakra around you to feel others. It would take a lot of chakra to do so but it can get there.
Sure chakra is a combination of physical and spiritual energy. So having a stronger spiritual aspect through meditation or stronger physical aspect through physical training would help it improve. But at the end of the day you need to train your chakra for it to get better. So I would just experiment with my chakra when ever it was full.
I would see how far it can go, how I can add it to my body, if I can sense people with it. I would also see how fast I regenerate. So I can improve that.
A large chakra pool helps throwing big skills one after another.
But having fast chakra regen would let you keep some skills active a long time.
I would recommend letting the MC try and train using the techniques from Hunter X Hunter for NEN.
There are some really good things from using the 4 basic forms. And NEN and chakra are very similar. You don’t need fancy nen abilities, just the basic training would help and it wouldn’t look suspicious as all he is doing is expanding his chakra outward, then supresing his chakra, then letting his chakra out and supresing it around himself making a layer of protection or pushing chakra into objects. Read more about nen on the Hunter x Hunter wiki.
Also don’t ever using gravity to train like in DBZ as it would kill anyone without the gamers body or some BS ability like a zenki. It would slow the blood flow and kill you or damage your heart. What you want is resistance training if you ever go there. Increase the pressure on your body from all directions sort of like being under a lot of water.
11/13/2019 c3 2PixelatedWriter342
Two words; Ino, poison. Ino is the daughter of a ninja flower shop owner! There are poisonous flowers that she could obviously use as ingredients for airborne or injectable poisons as her knowledge of those flowers go up. There is also a possibility that she could have skills similar to that or an infiltration and assassination specialist. As in, having high stealth capabilities, poisoning targets mid fight or chat, and the ability to smooth talk a person. Although, that's all I can come up with in fifteen minutes...
Sincerely,
PixelatedWriter
2PixelatedWriter342Two words; Ino, poison. Ino is the daughter of a ninja flower shop owner! There are poisonous flowers that she could obviously use as ingredients for airborne or injectable poisons as her knowledge of those flowers go up. There is also a possibility that she could have skills similar to that or an infiltration and assassination specialist. As in, having high stealth capabilities, poisoning targets mid fight or chat, and the ability to smooth talk a person. Although, that's all I can come up with in fifteen minutes...
Sincerely,
PixelatedWriter
11/13/2019 c2 Zerak
Know how he uses meditation to get energy back. You can make him use breathing exercises to get energy back while moving in low intensity activity. It could be the same as meditation but 1/4 as effective or less.
Also something that doesn’t make sense is how in naruto almost everyone gets paired and married soon after. They are ninja aka mercenaries, they can die at anytime. They would probably be less inhibited about physical relationships than civilians. But it would be mostly a physical relationship like friends with benefits. Not saying romance has no place. But it would not be the main focus in relationships at the start.
Unlike normal where you have an emotional connection then a physical one if the emotional connection got stronger. I think ninja would have physical relationships and treat them as no big deal and maybe later develop an emotional relationship.
Like at anytime a ninja can be tortured and raped (not genders) and I am pretty sure all the females would be on birth control while in active service for such an eventuality or in case a mission was long or hard and they needed some stress release (sex). So I honestly don’t think they would think too deadly about the need for romance. They would while in the academy but towards the end of it or after a few missions they will grow out of the innocent mentality, specially after they kill people.
Know how he uses meditation to get energy back. You can make him use breathing exercises to get energy back while moving in low intensity activity. It could be the same as meditation but 1/4 as effective or less.
Also something that doesn’t make sense is how in naruto almost everyone gets paired and married soon after. They are ninja aka mercenaries, they can die at anytime. They would probably be less inhibited about physical relationships than civilians. But it would be mostly a physical relationship like friends with benefits. Not saying romance has no place. But it would not be the main focus in relationships at the start.
Unlike normal where you have an emotional connection then a physical one if the emotional connection got stronger. I think ninja would have physical relationships and treat them as no big deal and maybe later develop an emotional relationship.
Like at anytime a ninja can be tortured and raped (not genders) and I am pretty sure all the females would be on birth control while in active service for such an eventuality or in case a mission was long or hard and they needed some stress release (sex). So I honestly don’t think they would think too deadly about the need for romance. They would while in the academy but towards the end of it or after a few missions they will grow out of the innocent mentality, specially after they kill people.
11/13/2019 c1 Zerak
I love this story so far. This is my ideal gamer setup. I was thinking about writing something similar at some point.
Honestly the best thing about the gamer ability is that it lets you quantify your progress and it makes sure that as long as you work on something you will progress. I see it more as a correction ability as you showed. Have a 10% chance to hit just means your body adapts so that is you minimum now.
Think about of it as a learning or adaptation bloodline or ability. Your body instinctively gets better at things and doesn’t regress unless specially situations happen.
But if you had 100% hit rate and you haven’t used it in sometime it will be rigid and sure you will hit the place your aiming for but it would be easier to counter, Dodge or parry the attack.
As for the inventory honesty a few slots is a lot even at the start since you can put storage seals in them. The advantage they give is that no one can take the stuff away and it’s a good way to surprise others.
I love this story so far. This is my ideal gamer setup. I was thinking about writing something similar at some point.
Honestly the best thing about the gamer ability is that it lets you quantify your progress and it makes sure that as long as you work on something you will progress. I see it more as a correction ability as you showed. Have a 10% chance to hit just means your body adapts so that is you minimum now.
Think about of it as a learning or adaptation bloodline or ability. Your body instinctively gets better at things and doesn’t regress unless specially situations happen.
But if you had 100% hit rate and you haven’t used it in sometime it will be rigid and sure you will hit the place your aiming for but it would be easier to counter, Dodge or parry the attack.
As for the inventory honesty a few slots is a lot even at the start since you can put storage seals in them. The advantage they give is that no one can take the stuff away and it’s a good way to surprise others.
11/13/2019 c3 BlueMapple
Well, first, not everyone become weapon specialists. So no, you don't need to attribute all of them a weapon.
For team 10 :
Shikamaru would be too lazy to have one but I could imagine a scene where Asuma would try to introduce the lazy ass to the art of knuckleblades saying that he lacks attack power and defense compared to Ino (not bad in taijutsu) and Chouji (a tank). Shika would obviously find this too tiresome. Then a dangerous situation happen and when he seems to be forced in close combat, he suddenly uses the blades to finish his opponent. Then, Ino say "And when were you going to enlighten us about that ? I thought you gave up.", "It was too bothersome to tell you". She hits him, Chouji laughs and Asuma smiles silently. Shika just wanted to hide the skill to give himself an edge). Ino... at best I can see her with senbons and Chouji, nothing.
For team 7 :
Sakura nothing but her fists, Sasuke (perhaps a blade later), Naruto nothing (not his style).
For team 8 :
Hinata, perhaps a bo could be interesting since she doesn't like when she have to hurt people. A bo doesn't pierce. Shino, none but shurikenjutsu and Kiba, none too (it's juste not his style).
Well, first, not everyone become weapon specialists. So no, you don't need to attribute all of them a weapon.
For team 10 :
Shikamaru would be too lazy to have one but I could imagine a scene where Asuma would try to introduce the lazy ass to the art of knuckleblades saying that he lacks attack power and defense compared to Ino (not bad in taijutsu) and Chouji (a tank). Shika would obviously find this too tiresome. Then a dangerous situation happen and when he seems to be forced in close combat, he suddenly uses the blades to finish his opponent. Then, Ino say "And when were you going to enlighten us about that ? I thought you gave up.", "It was too bothersome to tell you". She hits him, Chouji laughs and Asuma smiles silently. Shika just wanted to hide the skill to give himself an edge). Ino... at best I can see her with senbons and Chouji, nothing.
For team 7 :
Sakura nothing but her fists, Sasuke (perhaps a blade later), Naruto nothing (not his style).
For team 8 :
Hinata, perhaps a bo could be interesting since she doesn't like when she have to hurt people. A bo doesn't pierce. Shino, none but shurikenjutsu and Kiba, none too (it's juste not his style).
11/13/2019 c3 The-Funeral-Pyre
As for the Kusarigama, apart from it being a weapon with many avenues of use and attack that make it hard to predict or protect against, it's also uniquely suited to someone who will get a 'skill' for it that will prevent any accidents or mishaps in its usage (at least when he gets to a higher level in said skill) allowing one to not need to focus as much while using it during actual combat out of fear of wounding or entangling themselves. It can also be used to nonlethally subdue or knock someone out if such is needed, or to maneuver in midair by throwing one end and then reeling yourself in once it's sufficiently anchored.
Plus, if you ever learned to apply something like 'Chakra strings' along the chain to further control it... that's potentially deadly and useful as hell, especially if you take it further and channel wind or lightning along it.
Glad that the heightened Spiritual aspect of Chakra was brought up, what with being a reincarnation with intact memories and such.
As for the Kusarigama, apart from it being a weapon with many avenues of use and attack that make it hard to predict or protect against, it's also uniquely suited to someone who will get a 'skill' for it that will prevent any accidents or mishaps in its usage (at least when he gets to a higher level in said skill) allowing one to not need to focus as much while using it during actual combat out of fear of wounding or entangling themselves. It can also be used to nonlethally subdue or knock someone out if such is needed, or to maneuver in midair by throwing one end and then reeling yourself in once it's sufficiently anchored.
Plus, if you ever learned to apply something like 'Chakra strings' along the chain to further control it... that's potentially deadly and useful as hell, especially if you take it further and channel wind or lightning along it.
Glad that the heightened Spiritual aspect of Chakra was brought up, what with being a reincarnation with intact memories and such.