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for The Arcanist: Unspeakable Mysteries

1/29 c20 FF-loverHP1
awesome fic!
1/22 c20 skotos07
Really? you had to stop here! very good chapter. one of the best heavy au fanfiction I have a chance to read since black luminary! :)
1/16 c20 Guest
Awesome writing, crazy plot and ideas. Love it. Hope this story resumes soon!
1/18 c20 Phazer12
Woohooo; you are back so late and I am back to reading this even later. Great chapter, will be curious to see Harry's future study and return to midgard
1/16 c20 1Sinister-Slytherin
The lore and mythos in this story mixed with some DND plus your writing are great. I got to the end of chapter 20 and was so disappointed there want more. I cannot wait for the next chapter.
1/10 c20 Killerpickle
QuestionsNotesIdeas

Idea of Harry’s divine abilities
So we talked ages ago about how Harry’s lightning ability’s aren’t a very good medium of expressing his powers and subtleties in the mystical sense, The ability to express emotion, meaning and symbolism through actions. Due to the fact that Lightning is very much of the divine and there’s not a lot of meaning that can be associated with it and a person, with Harry throughout the story whenever he has needed to do something he has just thrown a bigger lightning bolt at something to solve the issue.
As it is Very boring to watch Harry fight or do anything because it’s the exact same thing and do t say ‘oh he made a lightning cage to protect himself etc’ it’s literally the same thing just in a different shape, there’s no weight behind the action, there no meaning.

We talked about before and I suggested if you really wanted to keep Harry using lighting to make his focus of mantle of divinity be the spark of creation and energy
- the beginning of all things, a spark of pure energy that wants to be something and then can be turned into anything without effort, an ever changing flow of ‘ENERGY’ of matter.
This would also help tie in a greater master and apprentice bond with Albus since he is THE master of transfiguration and give him something to teach Harry but also Harry as the Arcanist, his specialty is the arcane energy’s of the world, the wild exotic energy’s.
- the other idea was to move Harry’s mantle/divinity more toward time instead of lightning itself where Harry’s spark is the motion, it is change, the momentthat is change from nothing to something or the moment that stretches into infinity where time is struck still where motion as ceased (look at ‘the legend of Randidly ghosthound’ during the trials of Ashe
The idea of not just incorporating time into Harry’s divinity but possibility gives Harry’s powers depth because it can be anything.
Also it would give you the ability/option to include the necklace of joturn more.

The reforging of Divinity Idea
Another interesting idea is actually to have Harry’s sword Eldingar (pretty sure I spelt that wrong haha) be malevolent and changing him into something he’s not. Use the fact it is too eager to Help Harry instead of have him prove his worth as other artificers do and where Harry’s eagerness, greed and age/lack of experience teach him a lessonwhen things are to good to be true…

So that by discarding/destroying Eldingar he stops using a crutch, parasite etc whichever way you want to swing it so that he has to forge his own mantle of power instead of just borrowing Thors. That is not shackled by the restrictions of storms and the divine but something that relates to Harry and ‘mankind’.

How Harry is acting
Why is Harry acting so immature, stupid and and well childish with how long he has lived including time in these other dimensions, what he’s gone through and then the memory of the previous Potters he shouldn’t be acting like a spoilt brat.

Harry shouldn’t of been able to block Thors strike, maybe if it was just a casual one but an attack fuelled by anger with the full might of Thor Odinson should have destroyed him and any spell that Harry could of used, it should of gone past the absorption limit of Harry’s spell and blown up in his face

You NEED TO DISCARD HARRY BEING A LIGHTNING USER even just having him use that as a side-main skill, it just ends up with him relying on it as a narrative and writing crutch when trying to do active magics. Because when he is a lightning user he’s just going to spam spells or shoot a bigger version of the same spell that’s all it is, even when you prettied it up with the blood magic it’s still a lazy, boring and unimaginative, lightning ability’s work better i. visual pieces more so then written works as you can just see the affect and power of it but with written works it’s all about the meaning, the significance and the weight behind each action and ability particularly more so with magic based worlds.
I’m glad you destroyed Eldingr but I Really hope you don’t just replace it with a New and Better version of it.
- what would be cool would be for Thor or another god etc to remove the sword skill assist potion that Harry took to reset and help build Harry’s foundation towards his own form of divinity/mantle of power that isn’t reliant on just spamming big lightning spells because damn it’s literally ‘Ooga Booga biig Mon’sta! Shoo’t biig SpR’k’ use a ogryn from warhammer 40k voice for that.
1/10 c19 Killerpickle
QuestionsNotes

Albus has been acting very impulsive and short sighted for awhile now, he’s meant to be the more experienced, calm and collected one out of the trio but he’s acting more like the apprentice then the master.
This isn’t really helped when we are told and shown he is but then we have these moments where his Very much not for these long stretches of time. And usually during these moments Harry is the one who is the collected experienced one, and what normally goes with that is Harry telling off Albus then telling him what their going to do/or what’s his plan even if it’s not really that great of an idea, or it’s something basic that was already going to happen without anyone saying anything.

Also try not to add to many people, it causes the story to become bloated and not having enough time for each person or something for them to do/contribute which normally ends up with one of the lesser characters having to tell/do something that the main characters where already going to do or should already know how to do.
So what I’m saying is why doesn’t Albus have the ability to control his emotions

Albus should already know how the dimensions/planes work, at least how Luna described it Or have Albus already suspected what is being described.

I think the real reason why you added/changed Luna the way you did was to have someone who could explain to us what everything is and what’s going on etc. but it comes of as a bit rough, to out of the blue, and really… a bit being talked down to from the characters perspective.

Also it Luna’s planewalking dosen’t fit perfectly after what we have already seen of her with Nevil at the start of the story.
I like the idea of her having a connection to the moon even the thing about her parents being cultists but with her being that powerful already without any buildup. What I would probably change about that is have her plane-walking limited to instead of she only leaves when she dies but also when her body wakes up.
- then have her become more then human and properly embracing her demigod heritage, instead of being a slightly weird girl who sees things further then others to a new born demigod from taking up the mantle of the blue moon in the night realm there by activating her ‘Lunar’ powers properly for the first time.
- then have due to her nature as the Blue Moon bring a stronger duality of the humanity and the divine, the savagery and love then other lunar entities where she is both at all times instead of just the ever changing of two sides.

One of the big things I’ve noticed since you’ve come back to the story is a lot of ‘Telling’ us what people are feeling or thinking for instance in this chapter a lot of Luna’s dialogue with Albus is like that but a more direct example would be after Dracula says the following… tales of your adventures have spread even here in the night.” The Vampire Lord Seemed to respect himthere is no mention of how Dracula is showing or expressing his respect of Albus and the wording of the lines before it don’t indicate any emotional context for instance the same line above could just as easily be read as and more often then not as just a matter of fact statementthat story’s of Albus’s adventures have spread around.

Why would Albus sympathise with Dracula, the whole spiel about humans raising live stock for consumption and not caring about intelligence but there is a difference between consuming sentient and sapient creatures and then on top of that torturing them.

Anyway thanks for the chapter and I hope you come back to this story and do a rewrite, fix up the grammar etc and maybe do another rewrite and turn it into its own complete original story… just an idea, it’s original enough to make the crossover to a stand alone story instead of a fanfic
1/10 c18 Killerpickle
QuestionsNotes

Why does whenever there needs to be a shift in location with Harry he is always waking up/opening his eyes.

How could Lilomea contest against Harry in a straight up fight/duel, from in the past we have seen how she is unable to fight people directly (her abduction for example) all her magics have been support based, ritual or subtle magics that don’t really affect things in the immediate or direct. If given preparation time then yeah for sure it makes perfect sense for her to destroy Harry because her magics lean towards that but not in a 1v1 setting where Harry should be able to move faster then she could react or at the very least cast a spell.
- The sexually charged moment was pretty out of place
1/10 c1 PetrogradAN
Looks like I'm not the only one to have found this story on reddit two days ago.
1/10 c20 gh01
man I found this yesterday on reddit yesterday and I've just reached chapter 20 and I just want to say this is absolutely brilliant and I cant wait for your next chapter.
1/4 c19 FlyingHighBD
I see that you get some negative reviews, and i would just like to point out that it is their problem that they feel your story needs to change, not yours. Your story is awesome and they can simply stop reading of they dislike it. You go with what you feel will work and that you will enjoy writing. That is the most important thing here. So if you read them and feel bad, don't! It's your story and they aren't exactly playing for it. You are an amazing author, so just continue with what you feel is right!
1/4 c20 FlyingHighBD
I just reread this story again, and I was really hit by how much I like how you went back to his roots like you did with Albus. It creates so many opportunities! And although I am sad Eldingr was destroyed, it opens Hadrian up for a new weapon. I know he did the magic thingy so he could only use swords, maybe if he has another type of weapon call to him then Thor could help him with it? It feels like a rather large handicap that any proud teacher would want gone, and Thor is a god after all. I guess the magic could be stronger then Thors godly might, but he is the god of war, so this should kinda be his area of expertice (atleast if he worked together with a god of magic). Otherwise I guess other gods exist as well, or if nothing fits the world then I hope there are plenty of swords laying around
12/27/2022 c20 LightningKing7
Wait great chapter as per usual, but did I read right that Harry is ascending? Like he might become a god or demigod until he becomes a god?
12/24/2022 c20 TheMostPeculiarSerb1995
it is wonderful that you do not plan on leaving the story unfinished. What is not wonderful is the fact that this stupid site has stopped notifying me about updates!
12/23/2022 c17 2TigerCat
Albus is a badass, subduing Krampus with the Wish like that.

And yet, even the Krampus of the olde stories was not fully evil, for he punished only those deserving.
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