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12/9/2019 c1 29Pseudo Twili
Oh, this was a really fun little story, I have to say! The way Link shows up (in a very convincing disguise, I might add) and rescues the sisters from what would be certain death is priceless. I can't remember how many times I've saved them and other travelers, so I just had to chuckle at this. Even though the Phantom Ganon armor doesn't give Link such status with monsters in-game, but it totally makes sense and was great thinking on your part! ;)

"A savage looking sword and shield..." Ooh, that is Savage Lynel gear Link is carrying, right? I’m always carrying that stuff around! The bows look so awesome too! :D

Now, a few little things I noticed that would make the story read better. If I might just delve into them a bit here... Feel free to PM if you want to discuss them or anything like that.

“Meghyn and her” should be “she and Meghyn” as she and Meghyn are the subject of the sentence. "She" is used as the subject, "her" is for the object of a sentence.

You do have single quotations marks inside the double ones, such as when Meghyn is quoting her sister. That’s good. Just as it should be. But I'm wondering what’s with the beginning double quotation marks being at the bottom like commas? They should be on the top like the ending quotation marks. Also, in many cases, punctuation is supposed to be inside quotation marks. There are some exceptions to this, but not in dialog. You have some commas outside the quotation marks and they should be inside.

The color is spelled “maroon” rather than “marroon”.

Does the Lynel have a furry chest? I mean, they're always wearing a baldric-like item and their beards hang down, but aside from that I always thought they looked bare chested. But maybe you wanted it that way? Anyway, that is such a minor little thing it isn't really a nitpick.

I think "hylian" should probably be capitalized as "Hylian" as you can see if you view the “Mipha’s Touch” memory or if you read her diary.

I was unsure of a part of this sentence: “Nat and Meghyn were tied to the black horse’s saddle and called over his shoulders.” I guessing “called” should be “pulled” instead? It just doesn't make much sense to me the way it reads.

I'm really glad you got the character's names spelled correctly, as well as the monsters. I've run across stories before in which the author did not spell certain things such as these correctly, and it really bugged me.

This was a well-done story. I particularly enjoyed seeing this, as I wrote a story a while back about some travelers, Nat and Meghyn included, and I don't think I've seen much or any others like this around. I enjoyed this one. I liked Link's easy friendliness with the girls. I guess that comes from rescuing them so many times, eh? XD

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