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5/25/2021 c1 139rebecca-in-blue
Hi there, here from review tag and fandom-blind. Right from the start, this story stands out to me for its language style and the expletives in the opening lines. Although I don't know this character, I think you do a great job at capturing this voice; rather than a third-person narration style, reading this story feels more like this character is talking to you directly. I like that he refers to Dr. Wily more as "Egghead" than his actual name, and I get the impression that he assigns most people mental nicknames like these.

I'm a bit split on Wily's dialogue in "Remember how I built you..." It read oddly to me at first, because from his descriptions, I expected this character to talk in a more intelligent, evil-genius style voice. Then I realized that we probably weren't hearing Wily's words verbatim but Forte's version of them. And I think that worked fine for this bit of dialogue in this chapter, but I think that if we meet more characters later on in the story, it might not be a good idea to have Forte speak for all of them. Unique voices would be needed to keep track of who's talking and to get to know the other characters better. While I enjoy Forte's narration style, it might be good to get a little break from it now and then, too.

To me, the story gets a little darker around "I'm so pissed off..." It's a pretty scary situation for Forte if Dr. Wily can sense his intentions and control his actions from inside his head (although I guess that makes sense, if he's apparently a robot that Wily built). The "a world of hurt" and Forte breaking down the number of clicks creates a strong, ominous sense of danger and helplessness. I don't blame this guy for wanting to leave Wily's team, but this section leaves me concerned about how he's actually going to do it. I do really like the sense of determination in the final lines, which make me believe that Forte is going to find a way.

The repeated uses of "chump" and other things give me the impression that in canon, this character is maybe just a brainless goon who's used for fighting and muscle-work, so I really like that you're exploring him in a deeper way. I'm already pretty invested with him here for how you've depicted his motivations and loyalties.
7/24/2020 c6 Without Pity
Huh. You know, I clicked on this story expecting a low-brow, profanity-filled comedic romp. And I got it, for sure. But happily, that's not all there is to this story.

The structure of this story is good. I would complain about the sheer volume of filth spewing from Forte's inner monologue, but to be fair this is pretty much how I imagined his mind working. What I did not necessarily expect were the glimpses of existential dread, self-sacrifice, and emotional growth on display as the story progresses. And the end? It really was the only way it could've ended, isn't it? Heavy stuff, surprisingly so.

In closing, 7/10. A little short but surprisingly deep story masquerading as a crack-fic. Good read, thank you for sharing!
5/29/2020 c4 GamingWithLisa
Wow it all started off funny but now this is deep this is like a horror movie and someone has to sacrifice themselves for the others
4/4/2020 c3 85Bryon Nightshade
Putting us in the head of Bass- an appropriately vulgar and impassioned Bass- is a wonderful narrative decision. It alters your narrative voice in interesting ways: while you might never in 3rd person refer to something as "the clicky thing", having Bass call it that fits neatly. You're able to keep focusing on things you care about (the effects of neglect and bonds, for example) through a wholly different prism. It works very well.

It's also fascinating that you're publishing this at the same time Jixie has been working through their "Running in Second Gear" series. Those stories feature a Wily who ultimately was capable of loving Bass (albeit in a damaged and jangling way). The contrast between him and the Wily in this story (which is consistent with your Blues-story Wily) is stark and effective. The fact that your Bass is changing but without mellowing is also entertaining.
11/26/2019 c1 Guest
"I'm king shit of Fuck mountain. From this day on, I'm not gonna be anybodys chump".

That line was so good. Please update soon!
11/26/2019 c1 6J23K
Great job on this one, Kanoes!

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