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7/23/2022 c4 bumbbuff
please tell me we're gonna get a omake or something of his sister getting the message.
10/2/2021 c5 1Cap'n Mel
Aincrad style
6/29/2021 c1 Lypros Melfdan
Okay so let's be smart.
Wisdom approximately real-life experience. In video games, it is either to help to learn or to increase mana recovery.
On the other hand, you have strength, the only real constant in a fight, without that you die with that you live. The only thing that can surpass strength is luck, but it takes an inordinate amount of luck to survive just on that. Conclusion: don't take wisdom, the worst possible choice.
And also dexterity increases your reflexes but your speed is directly correlated to your muscle power, in other words, strength.
Intelligence would have been a better choice even if unstable, nothing says there is magic or even that it is useful and nothing says that putting points in intelligence makes you smart.
Stamina is stupid, I've never seen a single dark soul player get better because they've put points alive, it applies to almost everything, you die slower but you still die.
Charisma is probably the only choice as interesting as strength since the two powers that rule the world are the pen and the sword.
And also I have never seen someone stupid enough to gain an advantage that increases their wisdom and who just after takes the swordsman class.
The 1 life token is the same as endurance, if you die once you die a second time, better be stronger.
Conclusion: Mc is stupid, inconsistent, and deserves to die in his first fight.
4/24/2021 c8 Daisy
God awful horrible piece of shit story made me so mad with how bad it was that I almost broke my keyboard...again.
4/18/2021 c8 Amargi'sNodachi
Meh
4/3/2021 c8 Guestinator
Game says it won't be talking much, proceeds to talk every chapter and clearly here shows to being hostile with half answers at best.

MC doesn't seem to understand that.

My other issue is how everyone and their mother sensed his magic and continue to do so. It gives him a countdown of either learning to hide something he has no knowledge he is even doing thanks to Game not telling him or him being forced on the run/via miracle survive like he has been doing.
4/3/2021 c7 Guestinator
Seems Gamer Mind is also worthless as it keeps failing every check.
4/3/2021 c3 Guestinator
The levels don't seem to matter as he is killing people/things way higher than himself. Because of that it is just worthless. A character with the same level should give him a hard fight that he can lose, a character a few levels higher most likely wins and anything more than 10 should be a near assured defeat without great sacrifice.

As that isn't the case that part is worthless as I said.
3/16/2021 c1 2RTWilliams
honestly having a lot of fun reading this story. really looking forward to see where this goes.

personal opinion here: Karma should be a little more on the side of intentions. yes he killed three bandits to save his own life, that works against him. however Noone has yet been hurt buy his decision to pretend to join Salem. in fact, if he is pretending to join Salem, then that means he is not really joining her, but Ozpin. so He decides to join the good guys by pretending to be a bad guy yeah?

Karma should not be calculated by what everyone else thinks but by the person himself and whatever being/entity/system decided whether each action/decision is morally right or wrong.
11/20/2020 c11 bombbastik
Ima be , I really don’t like the idea of him cozying up to the queen psycho. Even so, entertaining story.
9/3/2020 c11 GL
When can we expect a rewrite?
5/6/2020 c7 IDK what to put
What's wrong with Kirito?... Actually don't answer that.
Although, Starburst Stream would be a very good ability no?
5/4/2020 c11 1Naga986
This story dead?
4/19/2020 c11 Meh
There is too much meta. It is not fun, and as a consequence the story becomes boring as fuck. Having a System that talk shit back to you, and all those "innovations", like Karma, and the Dungeon Vendor, is kinda ... Meh...All that shit you keep putting in your story is not making it better. You should have kept to the KISS principle. Besides that, your writting is kinda good. But you still have a lot to improve. Systems should not have personality, at least not in the way you are doing, because it is boring. In fact, in the best Gamer stories, the System doesnt gives hints, it doesnt talks back, It is just a incredibly advanced magic system interface, no more , no less. In fact, the less you talk about the system the better, unless the gamer find a exploit in the sytem that could give him some advantage, or something, also there is also a problem of your gamer being dumb as a bag of bricks.
Anyone with a lick of common sense would do better decisions than him, also, fo rsomeone with low luck, he got a reusable dungeon key? Seriously? Also grinding in a gamer story IS necessary, even if it is to get some kind of exploit and become utterly broken and powerfull. Of course, after this happens, most stories die. Or the MC get hit with an arbitrary nerf hammer or something stupid, and then the story dies. It is really hard to write a Gamer story, because most of the time the focus is in the Sysyem, but not in the story, like, what happens after you finish grinding? And all those conspirations, and all that shit, is kind aboring, it wont go anywhere, I can even see where this shit is going, the MC is goiung to go to Be3acon and the story will follow the stations of canon, the end.
4/9/2020 c11 1Artekha
You should have him grind a ton, maybe time-skip it if you like that idea but don't want to write it out. Love the story, can't wait to see more
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