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for FateStay Night: Umbra Bello

4/22 c27 1SapphireDraconix
Honestly, the second one (Option One) would make more sense. Also yeah, it's probably best that you revamp it, cuz while it was a decent read, it was kind of fucking everywhere especially since you use the abridge version and tried (somewhat unsuccessfully) to transition into something serious, especially considering the holes in the story.
2/22 c7 Karazik
Yup author has gone full retard. Never go full retard.
2/19 c1 Kingjax2006
My choice would be the option one
2/18 c27 IsekaiFanBoi
I'm fine with either.
2/18 c27 15Undying Soul98
And so ends another promising Fate SI.

Oh well - so long and thanks for all the fish. Was a fun ride while it lasted, especially with the Abridged!Personalities.

Alas, from personal experience, very few stories survive the reboot phase and get further than when they first broke up.

I would say however that option 1 listed above isn't REALLY a Self Insert, at least based on description. Its still just an OC - the choice is merely whether the OC is from the nasuverse or different magic world.

So considering how an actual SI isn't on the table, I guess option 2 is better. Very few fics can handle an original Magic System for a story like this.

Anyhow, good luck!
2/18 c1 RlyRlyRlyKoodKid
Whatever option brings salter route
2/18 c27 Ilantree
Option A sounds dope
2/18 c27 YoRuui
Im sad
2/18 c27 Antollie1
I vote for the self-insert
2/18 c27 1NotSpecialDude
Personally... I liked how the story started out. A self-insert put in a bad spot. Having them running on series logic, but getting thrown off due to a.) incomplete knowledge and b.) being in a parody series instead of the genuine article. The peak of the story being the battle with Lancer and the perspectives of Rin, Shirou, and the insert.

If there was any fault Id have, it'd be the increasing merlin connections you made. It made things confusing, and eroded the parody nature of the world.

My vote goes for Option A. The intial premise was already pretty good.
2/18 c27 chaseisone
Alternate self insert
2/18 c27 Server lock
An alternate self insert, I imagine that would involve more than just this one character but it sounds like a giant gamble personally. While a clash of ideals can be interesting it really comes down to if you personally have anything to say about them in general.

Personally I find the concept of a hero of justice a very specific lens that has a very flawed way of looking at the problem of what a hero is. Shirou is a guy of swords, (a hammer) so every problem looks like something to cut down, (a nail). A hero of justice isn't just an executer but one who helps society become a place of morality, puts in place rules, along
with justice, and changes society. Him walking alone, and becoming allies/ the tool of people who have their own goals that betray him was a flawed way of going about things from the start. Feel free expand on this idea or toss it away for something else.

Anyway a simple original Oc isn't that interesting of an idea, and most of this stuff in counter intuitive to what this story was in the first place. If you wanted something more interesting you should have just altered your self inserts backstory a tad, it doesn't even have to be the current you, and give him some mystic eyes, (there are people who hunt down people who have them be aware of that,) or an origin and element that allow him to do something that is hard to borderline impossible for regular mages to replicate, maybe a magic crest further fuels this phenomenon. kudos to you if you intertwine those with the conflicting ideals.

I suppose you could make it interesting, but I really want some mix of you and knowledge about what is happening mixed in, or given.
2/18 c27 Mizen
It is a pity to see this go but I hope that something better comes from it's ashes.
2/18 c27 Kasokudo
On one hand option A would probably end up a more unique and fleshed out story, but on the other hand I feel like option one would be a little easier on you to write and would induce a bit less stress. I vote for option B.
2/18 c27 Kibi345
I choose option one
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