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for D&D: Onwards to Destiny!

12/15/2019 c1 Moclab
Like the story so far excellent use of a dark opening to set potential future tones without giving away all that much
12/9/2019 c1 20Fenghuang0296
Okay, I like it, but you’ve seriously overdone a lot of the description. Also, you need to break up your paragraphs more. ‘Now, hours later’ in particular needs to be a new line. Better to have five one-sentence paragraphs than it all just smooshed together into a text wall. Also, you could use more commas.
Still, this is a good start. Keep going!

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