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for Christmas in Darkness

1/6/2020 c1 45Maze-zen
Wow, this was so different, but really good. Well done!
1/4/2020 c1 13Starwatcher2018
Erik was just what Jacques needed and vice versa.
12/26/2019 c1 45Igenlode Wordsmith
So the Shade is blind - that would explain a lot about why he, like Erik, chooses to patrol the regions of darkness, and why Erik apparently leaves him alone.

The beginning of this seems a bit abrupt; we are just told "He had lost his sight", but we are not told what happened on "that fateful day 1871 during the war", which, as his last seconds of vision and a life-changing event, was something one would expect to be a prominent part of the narrator's memories. So far as we can guess it wasn't even a war wound...(he was 'working hard and providing for his family' rather than fighting, and he isn't treated in a military hospital).

I wonder what happened to the wife (he doesn't seem to brood over that loss much, either)? Did she deliberately abandon a husband who was nothing but a burden to her? Was she knocked down and killed in the street? Did she go off and try to find a position that would enable them to live with their children, and fail to find him again when/if she came back?

I'm amused by Erik's total disregard for disability: 'So what? Being blind isn't an excuse' ;-p
Although "I always need men at the building site" appears to be an excuse, since Jacques is not only blind, but never does any work even when construction finally restarts; evidently he genuinely takes pity on the blind beggar from the beginning, and has his 'tough love' scheme already planned out. And from Jacques' point of view the cellars are much the same as anywhere else (though I'm not clear why Erik should take pains to lure him down there, other than that presumably this is the area that he has already made habitable for his own purposes).

So the managers are aware of Jacques' existence (and of where he is living?) but not of Erik's - they are certainly not paying Erik to live down there!

I wonder what Jacques makes of Erik's melodramatic declarations that he is "beyond every hope of redemption", since he knows him only in the character of hard-driving building contractor (and as the Phantom amusing himself by playing petty tricks on the occupants of the opera, but I don't think the Phantom has done anything very dreadful beyond frightening people yet). Or has Erik confided in him about his real past?

But I like the little scene of the blind man and the deformed one celebrating Christmas in the darkness of the cellars together. And as we know from Leroux, there are lots of odd people of no particular employment roaming around the farther recesses of the Opera buildings, some of them even being pensioned off to do so...

It's ironic that Jacques, who makes no especial effort to conceal himself, ends up with the reputation of being just as elusive and insubstantial as the Phantom, simply by inhabiting and roaming the dark.
12/23/2019 c1 28Not A Ghost3
Oooh- I know it isn’t clearly stated but my brain went ahead and decided that Jacques is the Rat Catcher! Haha This was very sweet, especially loved the pry where Erik “forced” Jacques to be independent. Thanks for entering!
12/19/2019 c1 41AmadErik
Thank you for this fic! :D
Touching, and I can relate to it.
12/19/2019 c1 Guest
beautiful! perfect Christmas cheer.
12/19/2019 c1 10angelofnight
That was ... abrupt. You have this style to your writing, and I am not sure if it is writing in a second language or just your style. It always feels much more like ... it feels like the cold empty cellars with a narrator in them. Does that make sense? Facts facts and facts. Even when you write emotion it feels detached. Which is GREAT for something told in Erik's POV since he's a sociopath half the time. But for a little story like this ... it doesn't give much happy warmth to the final lines. Just an observation. A couple of minor typos and language mistakes (once you wrote wive instead of wife, that kind of thing). All in all a pretty decent story for a one-shot. But I wish it was slightly more emotional, and slightly more involved with Christmas itself.

Hope you don't think I'm being too harsh! I love your stuff.

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