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for Harry Potter and the Physical Adept

1/1 c27 maiqsmail
The first book was pretty good, with few low points. Storyline took nosedive to the worst at the end of ch1 of book 2, then few other falls throughout. Should've wrapped up at book 1 to save face, imo. And bait'n'switch trick where HP fanfic turned in shadowrun fanfic with a side of culinary recipes that some of the time are set in HP universe. I mean, they barely interact with wizards, or Hogwarts, or anyone from that universe.
Anyways thanks for the read.
12/31/2023 c19 maiqsmail
And yet another nose dive into the gutters. Intimidating his friends' parents with sniper fire and these friends didn't bat an eye, suuure.
12/31/2023 c7 maiqsmail
Going into details for the sake of going into details. Good for you, but it's not exactly why I wanted to read a fanfiction.
12/31/2023 c3 maiqsmail
And now we hamfist a vampire into Mac's entourage and a page later make her OP. Ouch.
12/31/2023 c1 maiqsmail
Oof. I liked book 1 and ch1 of book 2 went pretty smoothly until out off nowhere Harry is killing criminals. No self defense, no justification, just straight up murder for cash under flimsly pretence of "holier than thou". That's a turn for the worse. Will his body count get to double digits before he returns for second term?
10/22/2023 c24 embracethebright
It makes sense for Hermione to practice in memory manipulation. Thats canon. Also for her to see in practice and notes of someone that is willing to work outside books would also be a eye-opener.
9/21/2023 c28 BasicShintoDeity
its really annoying to go for a wizard story and only get guns shoved down your throat when you want cool combat, but the rest of this is amazing so i forgive you
5/27/2023 c14 Guest
Actually, the 'Mudblood' insult was just the final straw that 'broke the camel's back' of Lily and Snape's friendship; as Lily-herself said she'd been covering for him for years, made excuses for him to others, even before Hogwarts, but by the end of their 5th Year, Snape went a step too-far and lashed-out at her (even if it was only verbally). Lily felt that, *IF* he could do so once, he could do it again and again. AND the fact that he was unrepentant about his intensions to join the Death Eaters.

Also, let's not ignore the fact that, for someone so proud of being smart, *HOW* Snape thought that joining an anti-muggleborn terrorist group would impress a muggleborn witch would pass-mustard...
5/27/2023 c5 Guest
Harry was 15-months-old when his parents were killed; he was born 31th July and he was orphaned 31st October the next year; there's a 1 year and 3 month difference, ergo 15-months.
5/27/2023 c2 Guest
Mrs. Malfoy is a Wizarding World Socialite.
5/25/2023 c1 Gina
I LOVE your author's notes!
4/3/2023 c29 12Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
You're an amazing story-teller.

Your research skills, however, are not remotly amazing. At least not those involving the Harry Potter Universe.

I don't know if your story is just too old, or if you're too lazy to even look it up, but if you ever decide to fix this story, ai STRONGLY recomend lookings things up on PotterWiki.

It's easy, AND you'll get your facts straight.

You also seem to include several "Chekhov's Gun"/foreshadowing bits that ends up as dead ends you never get an answer too. It's pretty frustrating to read.

And dumbledore has faded into the background, and ron pops up compleatly random with no warning, like a demented Jack-in-the-box.

You also write a LOT of "Filler" bits -paragraphs or chapters that have zero impact on the story as a whole and that just serces as fluff to take up space.

You might want to work on that.

That said, the story itself is brilliant and well-written enough that one can overlook all it's flaws.

But I presume you would like to become vetter abd improve as a writer, yeah? _

I look forward to see how this story turns out.
4/3/2023 c27 Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
Can't wait to see what's up with Ginny! _

I don't like her, so I'm hoping for something nasty.

..or maybe she'll become a sociopath. Lacking bits 9f her soul and all that. _
4/3/2023 c20 Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
Small notes:

1. Lovegood IS a pureblood family.

2. Aurors ARE police, NOT Soldiers. (During the war with Voldemort, under the madman Crouch, was the ONLY time they were allowed to kill.)

3. The ministey employs Hit Wizards, which are more like soldiers slash police. With a dash of assassin on top.
3/28/2023 c14 Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
I have a theory for why a comment broke up Lilly and Snape.

First, never assume a single action ever is the reason for anything. It rarely is. Almost never, in fact.

First imagine Snape's side:

He is in a House of purebloods, that look down on him for being halfblood. But like all children, he wants friends, so he tries to be more like them, so they'll like him.

They call mugglesborns mudblood, so he does the same. It becomes integrated in his mind to do so, a habit formed by repetition. Even uf he doesn't agree to the philosophy behind it.

And ut works, because he DO have friends. ("He feel in with a bad crowd." -HP quote.)

All his friends in Slytherin, however, tells him he should ditch that worthless mudblood he's hanging out with. They likely put a lot of pressure on him to do so.

It's actually impressive how loyal Snape is to Lilly, to withstand peerpressure and likely downright threats and/or bullying JUST to keep her as his friend.

Then comes Potter and hus gang of bullies. And yes, they ARE bullies. A joke is not a real joke unless all parties are laughing.

Potter & co bullies, belittes, humiliates, and damned near KILLS him!

And Snape may retaliate, and he may be good at it too, but it's one against four. He stands no chance.

And maybe he's also in love with Lilly. Or just admire her. But for whatever reason, he do NOT want to look weak in front of her.

It is also from a time where boys were raised to protect girls. That's a key factor.

Then imagine potter and his friends playing a prank on him, a really aweful and humiliated one.

And Snape is one against four -he can't protect himself. He is humiliated and ashamed that he's so weak and pathetic, and what's worse; the girl he likes saw it!

And then Lilly yells at Potter, she stands up and protects him.

A GIRL has to protect him because he is so weak and pathetic! (In his mind)

Ashamed and humiliated he tells her he doesn't need the help of a mudblood.

He regrets it the second the word's left his mouth, but it's too late.

Lilly runs away and refuse to speak to him again.
Or maybe she waits for him to come and apologize, but he never does, because he feels ashamed of his actions. Perhaps even scared that potter will start attacking Lilly if she keeps defending him. And he does not want to hurt her more than he already has. Maybe it's for the best, even tho it hurts.

Whatever the cause, they never speak again. But Snape holds her dear for the rest of his life.


Now look at Lilly's side.

She is happy going to school with her best friend. But they sort into different houses, and she discovers that the house rivalry is far more serious than she ever thought. One simply do not make friends across the house borders, it is not done. And that goes double for Slytherin and Gryffindor, which are both hostile to eachother.

Still, Lilly cares about her friend, so she ignores the talk, and all her other friends, and still hangs out with Snape.

But her friends ask her how she can stand him. He's so sour and grumpy. He's a stuck-up, predjudiced, slimy Slytherin. He's evil, just like all the other Slytherins.

She defends him, because he's her best friend. But those comments still sticks, even if she refuse to believe them.

And she sees him befriend those pureblood supremasist assholes, like Malfoy and his ilk.

And even tho she still believes in her friend, she sees him grow darker. Maybe she overhear him talk smack about other muggleborns, or at least, he is silent and doesn't protest when Lucius talks down about them.

Snape is not a rightious person, he's fearful and self-preserving.

He may step in and protect Lilly, but he'd stand by, and even let himself be pressured into participating with mi or bullying, or at least name-calling, of other muggleborns.

Lilly know Snape is a good person, deep down. But as the years pass, he seems to change, to become someone else, someone less nice.

Then one day she sees that aweful bully Potter humiliate her best friend, and she tells him off, wanting to help her friend.

But her reward for helping him is an angily thrown insult, "mudblood", an aweful word thrown at her.

At it strikes her like a sword through her heart!

Was her other friends right all along? IS he as bad as they say?

And worse yet... Was THAT what he REALLY thought about her?!

She starts to tear up, and she runs so no one will see her cry. She can't let him see how much it hurt.

Later she wants to confront him, like the Gryffindor she is, but he seems to avoid her. And that hurts her even more.

Maybe he never cared? Or something happened?

OR maybe she waited for him to come and apologise. She knew he didn't mean it, but her pride refused to let her be the one to aproach him first. But he never came.

That is my theory anyway. Based on my studies of humans and human psychology.

Forgiveness, like what Harry does with Hermione, is almost non existent.

That said, I think Harry would ve better off had he stated there's nothing TO forgive.

She said words that some people agree us bad, but it didn't hurt him.

It's like when girls who call their friends bitches, sluts and ho's doesn't actually hurt eachother, despite the namecalling.

Or if you call your lazy friend a layabout, and he grins and agrees.

(Or if someone calls me an evil asshole. I'd likely be flattered.)

My point is...

Harry is very nicely in-character, and you deserve one of Neville's happy-cookies in reward. _
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