for Harry Potter and the Physical Adept1/2/2024 c18 Llewey
Whitney Houston failed that song. Only showed off her vocal acrobatic abilities and stripped the emotional weight
Whitney Houston failed that song. Only showed off her vocal acrobatic abilities and stripped the emotional weight
1/1/2024 c27 maiqsmail
The first book was pretty good, with few low points. Storyline took nosedive to the worst at the end of ch1 of book 2, then few other falls throughout. Should've wrapped up at book 1 to save face, imo. And bait'n'switch trick where HP fanfic turned in shadowrun fanfic with a side of culinary recipes that some of the time are set in HP universe. I mean, they barely interact with wizards, or Hogwarts, or anyone from that universe.
Anyways thanks for the read.
The first book was pretty good, with few low points. Storyline took nosedive to the worst at the end of ch1 of book 2, then few other falls throughout. Should've wrapped up at book 1 to save face, imo. And bait'n'switch trick where HP fanfic turned in shadowrun fanfic with a side of culinary recipes that some of the time are set in HP universe. I mean, they barely interact with wizards, or Hogwarts, or anyone from that universe.
Anyways thanks for the read.
12/31/2023 c19 maiqsmail
And yet another nose dive into the gutters. Intimidating his friends' parents with sniper fire and these friends didn't bat an eye, suuure.
And yet another nose dive into the gutters. Intimidating his friends' parents with sniper fire and these friends didn't bat an eye, suuure.
12/31/2023 c7 maiqsmail
Going into details for the sake of going into details. Good for you, but it's not exactly why I wanted to read a fanfiction.
Going into details for the sake of going into details. Good for you, but it's not exactly why I wanted to read a fanfiction.
12/31/2023 c3 maiqsmail
And now we hamfist a vampire into Mac's entourage and a page later make her OP. Ouch.
And now we hamfist a vampire into Mac's entourage and a page later make her OP. Ouch.
12/31/2023 c1 maiqsmail
Oof. I liked book 1 and ch1 of book 2 went pretty smoothly until out off nowhere Harry is killing criminals. No self defense, no justification, just straight up murder for cash under flimsly pretence of "holier than thou". That's a turn for the worse. Will his body count get to double digits before he returns for second term?
Oof. I liked book 1 and ch1 of book 2 went pretty smoothly until out off nowhere Harry is killing criminals. No self defense, no justification, just straight up murder for cash under flimsly pretence of "holier than thou". That's a turn for the worse. Will his body count get to double digits before he returns for second term?
10/22/2023 c24 embracethebright
It makes sense for Hermione to practice in memory manipulation. Thats canon. Also for her to see in practice and notes of someone that is willing to work outside books would also be a eye-opener.
It makes sense for Hermione to practice in memory manipulation. Thats canon. Also for her to see in practice and notes of someone that is willing to work outside books would also be a eye-opener.
9/21/2023 c28 BasicShintoDeity
its really annoying to go for a wizard story and only get guns shoved down your throat when you want cool combat, but the rest of this is amazing so i forgive you
its really annoying to go for a wizard story and only get guns shoved down your throat when you want cool combat, but the rest of this is amazing so i forgive you
5/27/2023 c14 Guest
Actually, the 'Mudblood' insult was just the final straw that 'broke the camel's back' of Lily and Snape's friendship; as Lily-herself said she'd been covering for him for years, made excuses for him to others, even before Hogwarts, but by the end of their 5th Year, Snape went a step too-far and lashed-out at her (even if it was only verbally). Lily felt that, *IF* he could do so once, he could do it again and again. AND the fact that he was unrepentant about his intensions to join the Death Eaters.
Also, let's not ignore the fact that, for someone so proud of being smart, *HOW* Snape thought that joining an anti-muggleborn terrorist group would impress a muggleborn witch would pass-mustard...
Actually, the 'Mudblood' insult was just the final straw that 'broke the camel's back' of Lily and Snape's friendship; as Lily-herself said she'd been covering for him for years, made excuses for him to others, even before Hogwarts, but by the end of their 5th Year, Snape went a step too-far and lashed-out at her (even if it was only verbally). Lily felt that, *IF* he could do so once, he could do it again and again. AND the fact that he was unrepentant about his intensions to join the Death Eaters.
Also, let's not ignore the fact that, for someone so proud of being smart, *HOW* Snape thought that joining an anti-muggleborn terrorist group would impress a muggleborn witch would pass-mustard...
5/27/2023 c5 Guest
Harry was 15-months-old when his parents were killed; he was born 31th July and he was orphaned 31st October the next year; there's a 1 year and 3 month difference, ergo 15-months.
Harry was 15-months-old when his parents were killed; he was born 31th July and he was orphaned 31st October the next year; there's a 1 year and 3 month difference, ergo 15-months.
5/27/2023 c2 Guest
Mrs. Malfoy is a Wizarding World Socialite.
Mrs. Malfoy is a Wizarding World Socialite.
5/25/2023 c1 Gina
I LOVE your author's notes!
I LOVE your author's notes!
4/3/2023 c29 
13Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
You're an amazing story-teller.
Your research skills, however, are not remotly amazing. At least not those involving the Harry Potter Universe.
I don't know if your story is just too old, or if you're too lazy to even look it up, but if you ever decide to fix this story, ai STRONGLY recomend lookings things up on PotterWiki.
It's easy, AND you'll get your facts straight.
You also seem to include several "Chekhov's Gun"/foreshadowing bits that ends up as dead ends you never get an answer too. It's pretty frustrating to read.
And dumbledore has faded into the background, and ron pops up compleatly random with no warning, like a demented Jack-in-the-box.
You also write a LOT of "Filler" bits -paragraphs or chapters that have zero impact on the story as a whole and that just serces as fluff to take up space.
You might want to work on that.
That said, the story itself is brilliant and well-written enough that one can overlook all it's flaws.
But I presume you would like to become vetter abd improve as a writer, yeah? _
I look forward to see how this story turns out.
13Dark-Prince-of-ClownsYou're an amazing story-teller.
Your research skills, however, are not remotly amazing. At least not those involving the Harry Potter Universe.
I don't know if your story is just too old, or if you're too lazy to even look it up, but if you ever decide to fix this story, ai STRONGLY recomend lookings things up on PotterWiki.
It's easy, AND you'll get your facts straight.
You also seem to include several "Chekhov's Gun"/foreshadowing bits that ends up as dead ends you never get an answer too. It's pretty frustrating to read.
And dumbledore has faded into the background, and ron pops up compleatly random with no warning, like a demented Jack-in-the-box.
You also write a LOT of "Filler" bits -paragraphs or chapters that have zero impact on the story as a whole and that just serces as fluff to take up space.
You might want to work on that.
That said, the story itself is brilliant and well-written enough that one can overlook all it's flaws.
But I presume you would like to become vetter abd improve as a writer, yeah? _
I look forward to see how this story turns out.