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for Harry Potter and the Physical Adept

3/28/2023 c13 12Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
Speaking of chinese checkers... whatever happened to ron? And why hasn't his mom kicked up a fuss like the overprotective dragon-mother she is, about Harry punching her baby boy in the face?

And is dumbledore plotting something? If ron's been keeping his distance, then he's sure to have realized they're not friends.

I wonder if he plans to use Ginny...

Not that Ginny woyld willingly betray Harry, whom she idolize like a creepy yandere stalker, but, well... she DID write in a book that wrote back despite her parents warnings of doing exactly that.

(I swear Ginny would be perfect in the role of Hamasaki from the app game "Yandere girlfriend". Cooking food, being nice and cute and cheerful. Always supportive, always kind and helpful to him, nurturing him when he's sick... wack her love intrest over the head, lock him up, carve her initials into his legs and then try to kill another girl he spend time with... yeah...)

She's dumb enough to fall for the amateurish villain plots your version of dumbledore comes up with too.
3/28/2023 c12 Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
Huh. This is turning into a crack-fic, just like most stories that tries to hammer in events from the book where they don't fit, and/or that has a lot of OC characters...

And yet somehow those are not the REASONS it's turning to crack. xD

Grabted, it's just humor-infused as of yet, and nothi g overly unrealistic and, well, crack.

But it's kinda amusing. Lol
3/28/2023 c10 Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
Awww... Poor Dobby.

But also: Serious kudos for killing Dobby! _
It's very much in-character for Harry to do.

Mmh, it went so quickly tho that it won't tug at your readers heartstrings all that much. So if you want some advice; try to make the killing sader. Like, maybe have his last thought be "He only wabted to help..." or something.

Stories are best when they make you feel something strongly.

It doesn't matter if you feel good or bad, just that it makes you FEEL. It's the core of every great story out there.

Just think of Lord of the Rings, as an example. Two seconds un and you feel warm, fluffy feelings associated with the shire. Later you feel Frodo's fear, and Sam's loyal devotion and upbeat nature. And the terror of the Nazguls, the awe of the elven kingdom... I could go on.

What makes it so great is not the story told -it's a steriotypical Hero's Journey that plays out in ever fantasy novel ever written-. What makes it great is how it makes you FEEL.

Same with Harry potter. Perhaps even more so, because the first book of Harry Potter is both really bad AND really great. Littered with errors, but also with the awe of magic, and the cute childishness of it all. And mystery.

Litterally speaking it's an error-ridden mockup of overused cliches, stealing everything inside if from other stories, and telling a bare basic typical fantasy story told a thousand times before in pretty much every disney movie ever.

But it's also one of the greatest stories written in the modern world, exactly because of those feelings involved.

Also kudos for keeping 'mione in-character. And yet actually have her grow and learn and change. Like a real person.

(Far too many writers have their characters stuck with their starting personality as if life never affects them OR they do a 100% personality change after a single event -usually no more than talking to someone who use logic to somehow magucally convice them, which has never happened to any human ever-, and it's just tragic.

It's nice to see a good writer for once. _)
3/28/2023 c5 Dark-Prince-of-Clowns
Ooooh, yes you're american. That horoshima bombing as even remotly righteous is SUCH an American attitude. I have litterally NEVER met ANY non american who'd say that. Not one!

A better example would have been Saddam Hussein. Most people agree he's a bad guy.

(I'd say al quaida, but if I remember correctly, america fist created him, then bombed a non-military village and killed 3000 innocent civilians, soooo... also not a good example.

And then americans whined when the same number americans were killed in retaliation in the whole 9/11 shit.

History isn't my strongest subject, but news can't be entierly blocked out either.)

That said, the stort is intresting thus far. Although I AM worried about several OC's being added, that tends to be a bad sign.

But you did manage to make the OC's compelling, and their stories realistic and tied into the plot... (I presume the vampire-turned-human will have a side-storyline where she discover the REAL Vampires of the HP universe. Maybe she'll be hunted by them, maybe she'll spread the word of a cure and he half hated half loved... and maybe it ties in with Lupin... I don't know how, but she has so many options. _)

And that's why I don't outright hate that there is OC characters like I normally would; You miraculusly make it work.

I just hope it doesn't become a habit. Cuz too MANY OC's tend to end in stupidety and disconect from the HP universe. And if I wanted to read an Origional Story, I would not read a fanfic.

But, as I said; you're doing a good job thus far.

(And if I sound suprised, or negative thinking, it's becayse I've read more than 10 000 fanfics, and 90% of them are really, REALLY bad.

And I can see the patterns that seperate the good fics from the bad a little too well. Especially after I started to study writing.

It's actually a good thing to be suprised that someone is doing a good job. Cuz it means I have another food story to read. Lol)

Hrm... I would have argued against Voldemort being a magical Charles Mansion, but then I remembered Voldemort AFTER he went insane, and it's quite apt. Lol

Tom Riddle was a genious. Manson was just a charming idiot who wanted to have his own harem.

The whole race was shit was a result of far too much LSD paired with his acide-infused prophecies starting to loose their grip on the girls, so he moved onto doomsday sayings.

The race shit was, as far as I remember, meant to be something to throw suspicion away from him and his people. I would have to re-read my book on Mansion to be 100% sure, but as far as I remember, he wasn't even remotly racist himself. (Oooor... he was it because he was raped by some black guys in prison. I could be mixing him up with a serial killer from another real crime book.)

But theb, Voldemort doesn't believe in pureblood dogma either.

Not only has he NEVER shown a hunt of it, AND there HAS been muggleborn death eaters (tho very, very few. Grindewald had more), but he is half-blood himself.

So if he honestly believed in pureblood dogma, he'd be forced to think of himself as lesser worth. And we all know Voldemort has an insane ego. (And not a false ego, like a Narcissist have. A REAL belief in his own superiority like a Sociopath often have.)

But the Elite belied it, and Grindewald left a bunch of pureblood supremasists without a leader, so it was a ready-made army for someone willing to pretend to believe them.

(He also seem to have been a father-figure for Barty, and the perfect, unreachable lover for Bella, which suggests he acted like a Chameleon and became what each person most needed.

...before he went one Horcrux too far and went bat-crap crazy.)

Manson, on the other hand, strikes me as... simple. In the way Hagrid is Simple.

Not quite retarded, bur certantly not smart.

(And lousy at killing people too. I read the accou t of how those killings went down, and it sounds like a doped-out bloody mess where no one knew what they were doing.

The cruelty in the killings were not by design, but caused by sheer stupidety and uncertainty. Paired with a need to obey what the man-child told them in a drug-induced haze.)

I love Villains, but I have very little respect for Manson.

SERIOUS Kudos for the Rita Skeeter thing tho! PERFECTLY written! _
1/26/2023 c14 1SeraphimBlue
Actually barking at a dog works if you're bigger and louder than them. Kicking them in the head helps too. I've been attacked numerous times and now I go for the maim if not the kill when attacked by dogs. I had a pack of them attack a friend of mine in a wheelchair. she was defenseless and they would have killed her if I didn't shred them to pieces first.
12/29/2022 c29 Piletorn
Thank you for writing this. It was great
10/16/2022 c18 borborrygmous
Hey there, I’m really enjoying the story. I have a quick question. Is Grace, the tattoo artist, based on Grace Neutral? Thank you.
9/4/2022 c26 kreintoray
Right, now he's glowing. It's a sign for me to quit this crap.
9/4/2022 c23 kreintoray
Jeez, this HUGE useless A/N, all fucking time.
9/2/2022 c9 Re Lovely Lover
Actually one question. Why the crap did he spare the now Daywalker who chomped his neck and befriend her yet killed Dobby who blatantly said he was trying to protect him from mortal danger?

Barely even tried with the questioning.
9/2/2022 c10 Re Lovely Lover
Trying to protect him and he has Dobby killed. This story really is too much. Overboard in a considerably unenjoyable way. Some of it was interesting and theres clear well done effort. The story itself though. Just not an enjoyable read and that with Dobby was just completely freaking offputting.
8/30/2022 c28 225The Feisty Rogue
Really enjoying this fic, looking forward to moving onto book three! I really like the ruthless direction you’ve taken Harry and his friends, especially their continuous character developments.

Just to note - I find the epithets really hard to follow and very jarring, typically I DNF fics that use them. In the previous chapter alone you’ve described Harry as ‘the Hermetic mage’ ‘the shadowrunner’ ‘the noirette’ (this is the worst) ‘the boy’ etc - please just use Harry or pronouns like he/him! Same for all the other characters. It’s especially confusing when you describe them using their Hogwarts houses (i.e. the Ravenclaw girl) because you’ve placed them differently than canon and so I then have to spend a few seconds wondering who on earth you’re referring to. It will improve the flow of your prose. I hope you don’t mind me suggesting this, but your A/N indicated you were open to feedback.

On another note, your food descriptions are mouthwatering. I had to have a midnight snack of pitta breads after reading those chapters, even though all I really wanted was some golden money bags and spring rolls dipped in soy. Yum!
8/30/2022 c10 The Feisty Rogue
If you use an immovable rod on a train, is it stationary relative to the train or the Earth? Building on that thought, does that mean the rod is stationary relative to the Earth, which is actually hurtling through space?

This is a fantastic fic btw. I’m not picking at plot holes as much as reflecting on the impossibility of a truly immovable rod, considering the ever expanding universe in which we live.
8/17/2022 c24 5The Durdens Wrath
Right now it seems like Harry is the weakest of his friends, what with Luna and Hermoine being able to do both types of magic, and him only one.
7/23/2022 c22 skyrimpotter1499
im not sure if you know but the cannon timetelling charm it "tempus" i think it was first displayed in the goblet of fire if its an intentional difference i appologize i do know that alot is forgotten and overlooked
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