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for If You Get There Before I Do

8/27/2020 c12 watchingbutterflies
Awwww that line made me melt omg
8/6/2020 c9 Canon to Fanon
dude. it was going so damn well
8/4/2020 c12 bdwilliams3
Fantastic!
8/3/2020 c9 bdwilliams3
I enjoy the shift and don’t mind the gaps. More interesting to intersperse flashbacks with making their way through the new reality. Makes for a richer moment in the story even if there are lots of missing pieces from the linear storyline.
7/30/2020 c12 1adamantiumsleep
Oh wow, I love this.

The slow build is magnificent, all the little things and moments.
That balance between awkward insecurity and intimate closeness in the beginning merging into vulnerable honesty was wonderful.

The tent chapters as so full of warmth and apt characterizations, I loved them so much.

Thank you for writing, you are wonderful and kind.
7/6/2020 c12 11ConstructiveRomance
Hello! Right off the bat: thank you for writing such a wonderful, well-written, insightful and well developed HHr fic. It's everything I want from a Horcrux hunt Harmony. You didn't spend too long on details and incidents we already know from canon, just peppered in the conversations that should have been happening in between.

Your characterisations were excellent. We don't see a lot of the Weasleys or Ron, but what we do see is even in-character. One of my favourite parts was the conversation Ron and Harry have where Ron is slagging him for being broody and they discuss Hermione, the war etc and Ron is beautifully honest with him. A believable, in character, rewarding conversation scene to read.

The development of Harry/Hermione is one of the best, and I think that's because it's a mature insight. We aren't seeing them declare soul mates, being madly in love, full steam ahead with relationship. They know there is more going on, that it's distracting and dangerous to get involved. Afterward, they don't immediately collapse into a relationship because there's so much more that is involved at that time, so much more to deal with. When they have a quiet moment to themselves, some space and time away from oppressive grief, intruding questions, the weight of responsibility - only then can they really indulge in what they have longed for. And even then,we see the right amount of awkwardness, tension and hesitation.

I think this last chapter was a tad rushed. I didn't need, or really want, to see all the years that happened after in tiny snapshots. I think one detailed snapshot would have been enough - maybe stepping into the renovated Grimmauld Place, maybe it's tales of baby breath and daisies, maybe it's a nursery, or graduation or Teddy but I would have preferred one of these in detail. I think it would have been more meaningful, but I understand why you did it - and it's by no means bad.

In my favourite fics, some authors have beautifully descriptive prose, some have a plot that is so inventive and well-written that you can't put it down for a second, but your writing is more the third kind that I like. This is writing in simplicity but conveying a ton of emotion with it. You're effortlessly skilled at weaving together a complicated conversation in an uncomplicated way. In taking only a sentence or two but managing to fully show us how a character is feeling, and even make us feel a touch of it. The readers feel connected to the characters and invested in their story on a different level. Really great writing, and I genuinely hope that you keep writing some HHr fics.

Thanks again, and best of luck going forward :)
CR.
7/6/2020 c10 ConstructiveRomance
AGH. This is too much! Too lovely. I'd love to imagine this is how it went. Also, I meant to say last chapter, I'm also very glad you didn't go through all the leadup to Voldemort. What more could you say after all, it would end up being a rehash.

My standout moment was when Harry said 'do you want to get married' and his thoughts after that, like he just missed getting hit by a bus, like he just threw up. I could really feel that in the moment and it was excellently described.

The end part is too cute for words really, isn't it? Adorable, perfect, thank you
7/6/2020 c9 ConstructiveRomance
I also don't know how to feel about the transition. It's certainly not seamless, a little clunky, but when you get into it it begins to flow again. The golden moment is definitely this ending scene. Heart breaking but realistic. I'm glad to see them cry.

THe conversation with Arthur was surprising and I don't know how I feel about it honestly. Not sure it's believable but I can imagine the oppressive feeling of grief in the Burrow right now. I liked the descriptions of Ron and Ginny when Harry and Hermione meet in front of the fire.

I think it was a good move not to have them fall together into a relationship, rushing to kiss and date once the battle ended. This is so much more real. They have bigger things occupying them, a myriad of feelings and a lot of them unpleasant.

The 'Ron, tell Harry he's being a git' bit was a lovely echo of what they all were, back in Hogwarts, joking around.

Once you got into the flow, and past the jarring transition, it's a good chapter. And when you think about it, it's good that the reader is thrown off a bit here isn't it? We feel a bit like them when it's such a jarring transition. Maybe I'm making excuses because I like this story so much but it's certainly something to consider.
7/6/2020 c8 ConstructiveRomance
I agree with everything in your A/N. I don't think you failed in conveying the bit about stupid couple things, particularly when we see Harry reflect on it in this chapter. I don't think there's even a point discussing the ridiculous, teen-written fics with Weasley's slipping them love potions, but there definitely is something to be said for it being a different love. Agreed in that there is no need to minimise what occurred between H/G and R/HR and their feelings for each other; it's just eclipsed by what H/Hr eventually come to realise. I loathe bashing also - Ginny and Ron are great characters, not at all bad people, and deserve to be treated as such.

The little touches you've been inserting about the Dursleys is appreciated (often neglected to be mentioned in canon and ff) and Hermione's musings that he is nicer than he has any right to be is so accurate.

I liked his inner thoughts that they would have to stop kissing each other and the mess of feelings they now had between them. I'm not sure the bit about him being in love with her was natural at this point, but it's definitely not wildly out of field.

Last from this chapter, what you did with Ron and the horcrux was excellent. You didn't have Harry offer a lie, or some convoluted piece of honesty about Hermione, but made it about what it should have been in canon - Ron is enough regardless of anything else. He doesn't need validation from Hermione, Quidditch, Hogwarts, he is enough as he is. This is one of my favourite elements of the fic, thank you

two things from previous chapters that I forgot to mention: I really liked the conversation when Hermione said she doesn't hate Ron, and anger lights in Harry as he says ' I think I hate him'. Nicely done.

Second, I really liked the flare in Harry when Hermione mentions having feelings for Ron.
7/6/2020 c7 ConstructiveRomance
This chapter was everything. I don't have a lot of words for it because it was honestly just lovely, a real joy to read. It's becoming abundantly clear that he has real feelings for her, and I loved that we see him avoid any truth to his actions. And then it comes back to bite him when Hermione wants a straight answer.

I'm confused by why she would walk in on him in the shower, you would definitely hear the shower (Harry even talks earlier about liking the sound of it in the evening when she's in it ) so I thought that scene was mildly convoluted but it doesn't matter. The chapter is still wonderful.
7/6/2020 c6 ConstructiveRomance
All this dialogue between them is priceless and always building more on what they have. I liked how you wrote the anger toward Dumbledore, struggling to keep his voice as he listed the ways. All the while, in the back of his mind, knowing some part of Dumbledore did care.

The kiss was startling, as the reader, so I can only imagine how so for Hermione! We don't get a good gauge on what exactly she's thinking afterwards which puts us in a good position to empathise with Harry, nice writing. I hope they clear the air soon.

It's an interesting trail of thought then while Harry berates himself. He says he doesn't love Hermione in the magnetic way he loves Ginny, which is intriguing. Looking forward to him unravelling all that.
7/6/2020 c5 ConstructiveRomance
Ugh, what a fantastic chapter. You address huge things here that are never addressed in canon, particularly Harry seeing his parents die. The part he says here at the end about them is so very moving and well written. Again, you never try to overdo it, the words are simple and uncomplicated and it works. The emotion is heavy in these last few paragraphs.

The drinking while definitely OOC was explained in a very reasonable way. When Hermione lay all those reasons out it really only seemed reasonable haha. The drinking was enjoyable, I laughed a bit at the image of Harry, chin on palm of his hand, saying 'no but think about, it's mad' that was such a good scene.

You also bring some of the reality to Harry's wand breaking in a very different way to canon, but equally important. We can see that this incident has definitely brought them closer, as with canon, but their honesty is far surpassing canon and when we have that the foundation is solid for them moving forward. I'm exciiiited
7/6/2020 c4 ConstructiveRomance
The anger and sorriness back full force in this chapter.

First off, I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation about magic between them at the start. We're seeing conversations that I really have to imagine have occurred between them but just weren't in the books, you know. There's plenty of time we don't see. I always like seeing Harry and Hermione discuss the muggle world, and the line 'I think they just like the whimsy of it' was v funny. Another great Harry line was the 'catchy, I like it better than the boy-who-lived'. All great stuff. In those moments we see the Harry that can be witty, funny and sharp.

The next part of the chapter is quite sad indeed. Your slight alteration to the Godrics Hallow scene was interesting, I'm not sure how I feel about it to be honest. I know Hermione said I love you in a platonic way, but it still somehow felt slightly out of place.

I'm relieved I don't have to read a chapter of Bagshot - I've read it too many times at this stage! You skipped it in a way that didn't feel contrived I thought. It all linked with the patterns - the tapestry of friendship - the impulsiveness, anger and sorriness.

We also briefly get to see the consequences of Hermione being so direct last chapter with the 'cavalier' thing. Now she has made them both aware that they're both aware, if that makes any sense. Harry has already begun thinking and feeling differently towards her, and his urge to put his hand on her waist was a nice touch. Small progressions but ones that make sense and fit with development of story.

Very enjoyable chapter
7/6/2020 c3 ConstructiveRomance
Love the banter at the end of the chapter here. Trust Hermione to be utterly practical and direct about the whole thing, and I'm glad she did, it came off very realistic. The conversation about the future was touching. I cringed for Hermione when she interpreted Harry's words wrong, but at least he didn't linger on it.
7/6/2020 c2 ConstructiveRomance
Beautiful insight into their dynamic here and the days while in the tent, always moving, researching, trying. The shower scene was so good - it's a nice reminder that in between all the Horcrux talk, they still have to deal with the mundane elements of life. I like that you didn't really try to turn it into some romantic moment, even when they fell. It was a lovely moment of catharsis, and as the reader you even felt the lightness in the moment when they're laughing.

The argument over Godrics Hallow is very well done. Interesting words from Hermione about belonging to Ravenclaw, and honestly probably my favourite part was Harry's inner monologue about bravery afterwards. I wish he had told her that. Hermione is just as brave as the others for the reasons he says - bravery isn't always charging in without thinking.

Hermione storming out was a tense moment. I could feel Harry's palpable anxiety and her regret when she came back. It was harsh of her to leave then, but honestly understandable. They're under so much pressure. Nice chapter.
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