for Stargate: Revan3/10 c2 Guest
I think it's kinsy not kingsy
I think it's kinsy not kingsy
11/22/2022 c1 Guest
you made him a pussy hahahaha
you made him a pussy hahahaha
8/12/2022 c1 Pridefallen
Revan or any Jedi or Sith are infinitely weaker against all ascended and transcended from Stargate and Babylon 5 't know what you are playing by making those force using parasites overpowered when they are actually not
Revan or any Jedi or Sith are infinitely weaker against all ascended and transcended from Stargate and Babylon 5 't know what you are playing by making those force using parasites overpowered when they are actually not
2/17/2022 c2 You
Ruined this with making Lya an unnatural connection to another woman. Nope. I’m out.
Ruined this with making Lya an unnatural connection to another woman. Nope. I’m out.
4/15/2020 c1 Dansel
I want to like this, I really do, but what you've written has some really poor structure at times. Run-on sentences, very long sentences, missing punctuation, and more. I mean this in the best possible way but you really need someone to edit and clean up the story because as it is now, for me, it's very hard to see what is beyond the somewhat unpolished exterior. Anyhow, good luck.
I want to like this, I really do, but what you've written has some really poor structure at times. Run-on sentences, very long sentences, missing punctuation, and more. I mean this in the best possible way but you really need someone to edit and clean up the story because as it is now, for me, it's very hard to see what is beyond the somewhat unpolished exterior. Anyhow, good luck.
3/8/2020 c1 Chris
You need to work on this fanfiction more. Spelling and current tense are issues: like he regains consciousness and he ragained consciousness. It like you typed it up, then used autocorrect, but then forgot to read through it again to check for these types of mistakes.
Spelling mistakes and what i call context errors like regains/regained, are what break imersion in stories for me, you need to work on this, if you want to become a good writer.
You need to work on this fanfiction more. Spelling and current tense are issues: like he regains consciousness and he ragained consciousness. It like you typed it up, then used autocorrect, but then forgot to read through it again to check for these types of mistakes.
Spelling mistakes and what i call context errors like regains/regained, are what break imersion in stories for me, you need to work on this, if you want to become a good writer.