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4/6/2020 c6 1Dragonmaster150
It's not a bad story, but I feel as though you're attempting to rush through it. Your dialogue isn't too bad, but the way that you describe how different scenes playing out feels slightly lacking, for lack of a better term. Quite often you say something like: "So-and-so did this" and then move on to the next thing. This is most apparent during the Ichigo vs. Cardin fight. You didn't spend any time really describing what happened. We were in the cafeteria, then we were in the sparring grounds, then there was some internal dialogue from Weiss and then the fight was over. You didn't tell us anything about what actually happened during the fight itself.

Anyway, I'm not trying to be harsh, but this is something that I believe is a very important part of story telling. You may also want to work on your grammar as well, or look for an editor/beta reader to help you with the bits you're having trouble with.
3/8/2020 c9 King of guns
Raven's sword is called omen and it is a odachi. A nodachi field sword blade is at least 30 inches long. An odachi is 35 inches long and is a large great sword.
3/8/2020 c1 Guest
Well you changed your update scedual to Sunday's and will jaune and ichigo get ranged weapons like guns. Can crocea more get a shotgun built into it's handle and will ichigo get customized guns like pistols or revolvers if he does can he duel wield with black and white colors to represent his hollow and Quincy powers.
3/6/2020 c8 Guest
I feel like this was rushed a little bit also will jaune and ichigo get ranged weapons like guns so ichigo can ebony and ivory from devil may cry
And jaune blue rose
2/22/2020 c7 Guest
Very awesome story so far can't wait for the next update
2/24/2020 c7 Rp13579
That was a bit out of character for Weiss, but then again, its your story
2/24/2020 c5 Rp13579
It is an interesting concept
2/24/2020 c3 Rp13579
Called it!
2/24/2020 c2 Rp13579
Uryu?
2/22/2020 c7 Deaths Remnant
Very good chapter I really liked how you handled jaune in my opinion it was better than the show and I always thought they let him off too easy even though it doesn’t look like it and Ozpin pretty much says it’s not beacon is a military academy they train to fight and strategize against different types of enemies and they are in a four man squad and in my experience in a squad someone that doesn’t pull their weight or is not trained to pull their weight the others have to make up for it and cause major complications out in the field especially if there is trust issues well with my rant over good job on the chapter I really am enjoying it
2/15/2020 c6 Deaths Remnant
Liked it and I must have translated Engetsu wrong but yeah overall I thought it was really good and can’t wait to read what comes next
2/13/2020 c5 6SomethingAncient
I saw the changes you made in the previous chapters, they were good.

That said, one question burns brightly about this one: Why change Ichigo's zanpakuto to his dad's? Honest question, because I've seen it done several times, and I still don't get why anyone would do it.

Could we also get an explanation as to why either Jaune or Ichigo wasn't made leader? I mean, they both showed more leadership than anyone else in their team, so maybe some excuse could explain it? Weiss didn't really do much to show she could lead in the test, in my observation.

Have a good week and God bless,
SomethingAncient
2/8/2020 c5 Deaths Remnant
Weiss being the leader I hope she gets a big head and you have Ichigo knock her down a few pegs or have her kind of scared of him or something for a bit. Since Ichigo has Engetsu (Sharp Moon) I know Isshin could use the Getsuga I hope you give him more techniques if not that works too I think Ichigo needs a long range Attack and possibly jaune in the future. It always seemed strange to me that pretty much everyone in rwby but jaune had some kind of long range weapon from dust or a gun and I never really cared for jaunes semblance I didn’t think it really fit him and his combat style
2/8/2020 c4 Declan Campbell
I’ll be the only person that will be honest, this is quite bad but it has the potential to be good if written properly and reread before release of chapters also get Ichigo’s personality more accurate next time plus have Ichigo get Dual Wielded Zangetsu in future chapters if your ever going to introduce that
2/5/2020 c4 5Timothy Burr
Was that a reference to SAO abridged I just saw there?
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