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for Tenhawks Alexander Harris and the Shadow Council

1/19 c60 flys36
I can see why this story ended up falling, taking a slightly different path but always ending up just like the original Harry Potter stories.
10/3/2024 c105 Simianpower
This feels entirely railroaded. Why bother changing anything if the key events will be railroaded through regardless? This chapter more than any other makes me feel that this story is not worthy of Tenhawk, who usually throws canon out the window and writes his own thing. This, however, is so on rails that none of the digressions actually matter in any real way. It's a Harry Potter story where Harry barely matters. It's CALLED a BtVS story, but it's not.

I've officially lost interest in it. I just can't keep caring about where it's going when the answer is "the same place as canon, with a few minor side quests here and there." There's way too much wrong with this to keep reading.
10/3/2024 c100 Simianpower
Hydrogen combines with oxygen explosively. The very least you'd get is a big flame. That's categorically NOT how conjuring water works, not even in a fanfiction. Ugh! Seriously?
10/3/2024 c98 Simianpower
You can't see anyone in the RoR because it doesn't show up on the Map.

More and more I think that the author of this story learned about Harry Potter by watching the movies (i.e. all female group from Beauxbatons) and fanfiction, but never read the books. Too many mistakes.
10/2/2024 c92 Simianpower
I get that Harry has a leg up on learning the Summoning Charm since he's been practicing its opposite with Xander for a while. OK. That's fine. But that still means he learned it PLUS Parsel-enhanced Legilimency in about three days. The latter alone should take a year or so.

This story is really not up to the usual standard for Tenhawk. Usually there's a fairly deep understanding of the worlds written about, but not so much this time. The Journeyverse is far superior to this.
10/2/2024 c89 Simianpower
That's explicitly NOT how the RoR works. If someone else is using it, you CAN'T get into it unless you know the form they had the room take. Book 6 makes that painfully clear. And, having not seen Xander's lab, Harry couldn't do that.
10/2/2024 c86 Simianpower
A Harry who's basically canon, who never dueled, never was trained, should ABSOLUTELY NOT know Protego. That's why when he dueled Voldemort at the end of fourth year he never even tried a shield; he simply didn't know any. Even a basic shield is late fourth or early fifth year material. Those duels shouldn't have been nearly that close. They should've been curb-stomps that encouraged Harry to learn how to shield!
10/1/2024 c78 Simianpower
Why does it never even occur to Xander to ask about vaults of his own? He's literally right fucking there, and he knows that his family influence comes from the British Isles and may be waiting for him. I get that he might not think of it while at school, but again, he's IN THE BANK, so that should jog his memory. Especially with all of that occlumency training, which apparently is only useful when it's plot relevant. How annoying!
10/1/2024 c76 Simianpower
This story isn't bad, but it doesn't really feel like a BtVS story. I worried about this at chapter 1 where Xander was 10, and the worry proved true. This is an OC/SI story with a dude named Xander Harris who bears zero resemblance to the Xander from BtVS. The Sunnydale depicted here could just as easily be Pittsburgh for all the difference it would make. Willow is the only other Buffyverse character who plays any role, and it's a relatively minor one. Buffy herself isn't in the story, nor are any of the other supporting cast like Giles or Snyder or Cordelia. This is a Harry Potter story with yet another generic insert to stir the pot. I had hoped that the story would have Xander in Hogwarts for a year or two, move to Salem, then time-skip a bit... but it didn't, and while it's not badly written it isn't about any Xander I can even remotely recognize.

Usually Tenhawk's Xanders FEEL like Xander, but that's because they usually start out at high school age where we can recognize him. This started out as a child who developed entirely differently, with different friends and environment and even family. As such, it CAN'T be a recognizable Xander, so what's the point? Why not just make him an OC outright, since that's basically what he is no matter what name is chosen. The BtVS crossover is so irrelevant it may as well not even exist!
10/1/2024 c64 Simianpower
One thing I've noticed that's weird about this story is that Xander's "familiar" basically disappears until/unless he's plot relevant. He doesn't seem to go home with Xander over the summer, or along on the holiday trips with the Addams's. At the very least it would be interesting to see a direwolf's reaction to a Portkey. But we don't. Even at school 99% of the time the dog basically doesn't exist, yet Dumbledore said that he's "never seen a stronger familiar bond". Well... I sure have. Harry's bond with Hedwig is WAY stronger. We see him talking to her, petting her, getting or sending letters with her, ALL THE TIME. She's not just there when it's time to show off how powerful she is like the direwolf. I think that wolf has been mentioned maybe five times in 64 chapters, including when he was bought and when he saved Xander from a werewolf. Yet that's a supposedly strong familiar bond... that doesn't seem to be relevant during vacations at all.
9/30/2024 c40 Simianpower
Early 90s Shadowrun had no technomancy. That's mostly 4th edition and beyond, so probably 1998 or so.
9/30/2024 c11 Simianpower
Top 20 isn't all that respectable when the entire class is 40. That's about a C-tier average. Well, I guess with the Americans added that 40 becomes maybe 60 tops, but still, top third is mediocre at best.
9/30/2024 c7 Simianpower
Why would he even be considering coming back, given that him being there this year was an exception to the norm? He should be expecting to go to Salem from second year onward, unless he's been told otherwise somewhere off the page.
9/30/2024 c5 Simianpower
Why the hell is Tonks suddenly a Slytherin? Canonically she's a Hufflepuff AND should've graduated before Harry got to Hogwarts. I get that this is fanfiction, but changing random stuff without any basis is just bad writing. If you want to change something, give a reason for it!
9/30/2024 c1 Simianpower
Why do stories like this always force Xander Harris into the role of a magical prodigy but forget that Amy Madison even exists? She canonically WAS magically powerful, but in fanfiction she's almost always ignored.
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