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for Miraculous Pokemon: Between Worlds

1/30 c5 17Aiko and Mia Afton
I love this book!
1/30 c5 Aiko and Mia Afton
I love this book!
6/8/2020 c1 Guest
Hello! So far I've read two chapters of your story, and I have some criticism concerning how you tell it. I'm guessing that you are going for a cinematic effect in your writing, judging from how it switches from one perspective to another. I think this writing style has potential to be quite good, but it's confusing in this story. Maybe before the POV changes you can add something that indicates the change? I'd also like to mention that you have a lot of run-on sentences. They make the book hard to read and understand. I'm only twelve, so I don't know much, but these are the two main things I thought could be improved. I do have some good things to say, though! I like the idea for the story. Miraculous and Pokemon is a crossover I really enjoy. Your OCs are pretty cool, too. I myself am working on a Miraculous and Pokemon crossover similar to this with my own OCs. I appreciate the character descriptions and the action scenes. I sympathize and understand the struggle to edit and close-read your writing, but it gets easier eventually. Keep going!
5/24/2020 c1 700mary.okeeffe.16
2/21/2020 c2 5RGGAM
Looks great Aura
2/20/2020 c1 RGGAM
Aurora the tiger
Miracle the badger
Riley Mason Or Riley the human
1/24/2020 c1 Matt
Really needs work.

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