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for The Cold Path

8/21/2023 c1 3ValenTino85K
Bueno, veo que hiciste algo a lo que no me atreví a pesar de estar en situaciones similares. Te aplaudo por ello y seguiré leyendo tus esfuerzos, veo un ritmo de escritura bastante original más allá de cualquier posible error en ingles.
2/17/2020 c4 1ideasthatican'twrite
Oi, acabei de ler os 4 capítulos, e, a historia é bem legal e tem um potencial. embora meu inglês também não seja bom, um erro que sei que você está cometendo é o uso dos pronomes algumas vezes:
He (ele); his (dele), são respectivamente, 3º pessoa e pronome possessivo masculino, e você usou esse com a Akeno:
She (ela); her (dela), é quando o substantivo é feminino, e você usou em uma sentença quando se referia ao seu personagem.
Uma dica para que nos próximos capítulos você não erre no uso dos pronomes, mesmo usando aplicativo é sempre bom conferir, se a historia ficar popular, tenta arrumar um Beta Reader, alguém fluente em inglês para conferir erros antes de postar a historia.
'I' e 'me' é 1º pessoa e não muda de acordo com o gênero do Substantivo Pessoal (nome).
Boa sorte com a historia.
Um leitor de SP, Guarulhos
2/17/2020 c4 Flygar
Dude, please take an english class before you keep writing, this is painful to read
2/11/2020 c4 Si-tri
Sona roock
2/11/2020 c4 Guest-Questioner
In reply, okay, okay, I am understanding your wording then so, continue.

As for this chapter, language change program, may, be, bad...

The character gender, are coming out backwards.

All the girl's are being made as, male, as i read this.
2/4/2020 c3 Guest-Questioner
Okay, Okay, okay...

Love Triangle, is the one male, and TWO female's so, one or two was, fine, for, me, long, ago.

Only, Rias and Akeno, are the two i will not accept.

There is very little time, in the way of team work, for the main heroes.

They almost never show true team work against one enemy, only separating the fight
into different, point of view's, and even then, the team work, is barely possible.

That is because the whole, of the Gremory peerage, are damaged, broken soul's,
that are not yet helped out.

For this chapter, all around fair start, But going into the club room only little while after?

He should at least have had, one or two day's to get himself a good place within school,
to begin with, then, he would meet with the super natural.
2/3/2020 c3 4AstolfoBrHue
Sim
Muitas histórias tratam os humanos como inferiores.

Por isso estou inclinado a fazer permanecer humano.

Eu já tenho alguns pensamentos sobre o assunto
2/3/2020 c2 Guest
It's better to have him human because it gets extremely annoying and dull to have a human turned into a supernatural creature where a human never has time to shine for once. It's always devils, angels, fallen angels, yokais, gods, kings, and fucking dragons that gets all the attention. Forgive me for cussing, it's just I get sick and tired of fanfics where there are always supernatural creatures becoming badasses and always making humans fear of everything. I began to think that we are being mocked and looked down on because of the things that we don't have except sacred gears which were created by God and we have to rely on Angels or gods to save us from harm. Would it be better if a human uses his own power and learns from it. Humans have infinite potential to do the impossible as well. I'm not saying that humans are better than the supernatural, it's just that I want my own kind to be treated as an equal to them instead of a waste of space. I am not biased towards the supernatural, I just don't like bullies and people who preach the philosophy of "The strong lives and the weak dies". It's something that I had always hated since watching Akame Ga Kill. But anyway, this is your story so you can do whatever you want with it.
1/31/2020 c2 er kebbabaro
Interesting story.
What's the name of the character?
Will you leave him human or will he become devil etc ...?
Is the sacred gear one of the 12 longinous or is it a normal sacred gear?
For the anime I would recommend Kuroka, Leviathan because its magic is based on water, Ravel, Vali fem, Freja.
1/29/2020 c2 Guest-Questioner
Sorry, what i meant to say, is that i only ask,

Original character, is NOT, a servant of any one.

Original character, is NOT, the one hero that can win every battle he is a part of.

Original character, is NOT, with Rias and, or, Akeno.

Original character, ONLY have one, OR, two, girl's, in what is called, love triangle,

That much better than harem, and, much less trouble.

Any possible suggestion, is that, the first four girl's, Rias, Akeno, Koneko, and Xenovia,

are named, the Issei Harem(again)

Outside of those four, and the Sona peerage girl's, and, Serafall Leviathan,

any other girl is fine.

Ahem...If any-one else, want's the girl's said in here, please deny them,

those who make these choice's, for lead story girl's, often make them because,

it is the common thing that happens.

I do not like common stuff, i like interesting stuff.
1/29/2020 c1 PaperTucan
so far the story seems cool keep it up hope you keepup the good work
1/29/2020 c1 Guest-Questioner
Okay, so,

First:

People will say, the character must have a harem, mostly, the Issei Harem duo, of Rias and Akeno.

They will say this only because, Very big girl bodies are the way highschool DxD is, what is good.

They will also say, that Sona Sitri and her sister Serafall, are also good.

But these girl's, are a, SAFE, ZONE, everyone has them, so why not copy them, and do the same.

Second:

Also, the, Sona Peerage girl's, are talked about, in the same way, which is bad.

Everything is made around, the Rias Peerage, because they are, the heroes of the story.

Because of that, there is very little, in way's of, making different stuff, happen, that does not,
follow the main story.

First Idea, Make "your" character, not servant to Rias Gremory.

Next Idea, make your character, help TEACH the rias peerage, instead of your character,
getting the victory for rias, in her marriage problem.

Next idea, The character you make, should not become the main hero,
but, that does not mean, he can not help the heroes, any other way.
1/28/2020 c1 Guest
So Ice powers, eh? I wonder if he will have any future encounters with Grayfia or Serafall regarding his ability? Interesting first chapter! Looking forward to seeing where this story goes!
1/28/2020 c1 Guest
Koneko x Oc
1/28/2020 c1 Hakuryuu11
Issei(Si) x Fem Vali

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