for Song of A Northern Sorcerer6/20 c46 Fikayo Wyse
please when are other chapters going to be released
please when are other chapters going to be released
6/18 c46 Character Names
Jaime. Jaime. JAIME JAIME JAIME! LEARN TO SPELL THE CHRACTERS' NAMES CORRECTLY!
Jaime. Jaime. JAIME JAIME JAIME! LEARN TO SPELL THE CHRACTERS' NAMES CORRECTLY!
6/11 c39 tlodr11227
Hands down one of the best stories yet 10/10
- this story is thick with 3 C's
- It's thicker then a bowl of oatmeal
Hands down one of the best stories yet 10/10
- this story is thick with 3 C's
- It's thicker then a bowl of oatmeal
6/9 c46 Silent Person
Suggestions for "Song of A Northern Sorcerer"
The most important one is to not give up, whenever you have the chance to write, but I recommend that whenever you have an idea you record it as a voice file on your cell phone or something like that.
The second most important one is that "the good guys" make smarter decisions than in the original series (like Robb marrying Talisa earlier and thus avoiding the Red Wedding), and I say this because the originals made me scream in anger a lot, you don't have to be complacent unless you come up with a better idea.
The third most important one is that you base it on the pre-Disney canon, you will avoid angering the wrong people.
And the fourth most important one is worth two. Address characters from the series and/or books that you forgot, for example Hodor, I haven't read anything about him, not that I remember and although I do like your story, I'm still waiting for him to appear or for you to say what Nox did with him; and most importantly, don't let him die, I BEG YOU, just remembering him makes me want to cry, and if Hodor is going to die anyway, let it be a just as noble death. I also ask you to close each story and subplot that you started or continue it in an intelligent and meaningful way so that it contributes, even a little, to the main plot, for example the story of Garlan the Gallant and his new family, I am interested in how he handles his family life, it would be interesting how their two ways of dealing with children clash. It would also be interesting to see how the story of Sam, Gilly and little Sam progresses, I always liked the story of those three and I know that I would like it more with the changes you made and very important, finish it better than the original series (I know that the books exist and I don't care). If necessary, make an entire chapter just for them if you don't have much time. In the following, listen to me if you want
1. To know what NOT to do, watch this: g
And this: /watch?vmid-GC8NNX4
2. Make a survey (on a social network or something) about who is the favorite character of each of your fans, and the most beloved one you must work on with great care and effort, if you decided that he should die, give him a dignified death and not a stupid one like many in the original story; and if you decide that he should live, give him a very good use and if he no longer contributes anything to the plot, say goodbye to him in a calm way.
3. Don't let Nyra die, she's necessary and we all love her, at least let her live while Nox learns to live without her, and also give her iconic and cool moments, you already started with chapter 42, and I'm liking it.
4. Don't make so many chapters to resolve the Religious War, I say this because I've already waited too long to find out what would happen if a Force user fell in Westeros, and I liked and loved them, but don't take so long, at most use the same number of chapters before it starts (40 at most).
5. Alim Nox was a Sith and wants to restore the balance of the Je'daii and for that to be possible a Jedi must fall in Westeros (if your fanfiction takes place during the Jedi purge it will be easier to justify his arrival), I know it will be an interesting conflict and if it is handled well, it will be epic if at first he despises him just for being a Sith and then he joins in all of Nox's fights, and then neither Alim nor the Jedi present themselves as their holy doctrines (Jedi and Sith), but as Je'daii, and that they also find out about the fall of Palpatine and the birth of the New Republic, although you will have to save that for much later.
6. Since there will be a religious war, Nox should manage to not unite the Force with religions, but religions with The Force. With the Old Gods it is already solved. With the Red Priestess it will be more or less possible to get her on his side, he has to introduce her to the Force, show her that he has the same powers as her and that they have a common enemy (the White Walkers and the ice zombies), and if the negotiation goes wrong it should be an intense but brief battle, if the negotiation goes well he should join her in his cause of restoring the Je'daii order. With the Faith of the Seven it will be difficult, because they are the ones who most oppose the Force, so he has to hit them where it hurts the most by exposing the crimes and sins of each septon he meets and judge them based on their sacred texts so that it hurts even more and they have less rights to persecute Nox for both the common people and the members of that religion, as for the High Sparrow he must show him that his visions are a power of the Force and achieve a non-aggression pact (so to speak) and thus straighten out the believers of the Faith of the Seven so that everyone coexists harmoniously.
7. Although I like the brutal moments you put in your story, it would also be nice if these wars were fought with brains, that the girls broke Ned out of jail (or so I thought) disguised as a dead man was brilliant, but something that I consider will also be intelligent is "Divide and Conquer", but I'm not talking about having half of Westeros on the Nox side, but also turning the common people against the crown as you surely noticed a while ago; for example, when the southern soldiers see how well the northern ones are doing and see how they have better medical conditions, better facilities, better weapons, better logistics, better rights, better everything and mainly, better treatment from their superiors by the soldiers and the common people, then they will decide en masse to betray them at the same time (or almost) and thus Nox will put the royal family against the ropes. It sounds very sith-like, but we're talking about Alim Nox, a seasoned and accomplished strategist, and not doing so would be very foolish, not to mention stupid, and would ruin your story.
8. I sometimes like to listen to music when I read your story, and to get some good ideas I recommend these:
/ ClassicsExplained/videos
/ Vox/search?queryearworm
9. I ask that you give brutal moments of Nox's apprentices, give them epic and memorable moments on and off the battlefield, and make them worthy of this: /watch?vUJ4Nel-aHZM
10. Also give a much more brutal moment of Nox and very worthy of this: /watch?vGc-KYaxdiTk&
11. Even though Nox has the advantage and is on high ground, the South must fight him. Little Finger making a potion to block his Force powers is brilliant, and to give you more good ideas I recommend this: "How to Become a Tyrant", "How to Become a Cult Leader", "How to Become a Mob Boss"
12. /search?sCseconvirtieron
13. If you're going to punish the bad guys, I imagine it like this:
a. Jaime is forced to publicly confess his crimes and sins (according to the Seven), including that Joffrey, Mirsella, and Tommen are his children, then his hand is cut off and he's sent to the wall (Because a Star Wars story without an amputated limb isn't Star Wars)
b. Ramsey Bolton (or your equivalent) is killed
c. Little Finger is killed, he's a hopeless psychopath and if you can think of a punishment worse than death, I'm not going to stop you.
d. Gregor Clegane is killed in a way that his brute strength can save him from, whether it's being impaled by a lightsaber, being burned alive, poisoned, sickened, melted in acid, get creative.
e. If you were to kill Joffrey, have Arya kill him in the most brutal, ironic and humiliating way, with emphasis on ironic, all of that in front of Cersei, don't be afraid to use your imagination. And I emphasize that Arya be the one to kill him because I was waiting 8 seasons for her to kill Joffrey and Cersei and it made me angry that it didn't happen.
f. For Cersei I have something special, it occurs to me that in addition to demanding all her evil against Westeros, that Tommen and Mirsella turn against her, because she spends the whole series insisting that she loves her children and the scolding will hurt her even more if it comes from her children but as Cersei does not deserve mercy I will continue; then Nox tortures her by electrocuting her to burn all the nerves in her body so that she cannot feel any pleasure of any kind, because she herself said that she did what she did because it felt good; and then I imagine this:
"Nox having Cersei kneeling and surrendered decided that she deserved a fate worse than death, looked at the audience and said: -'But this does not end here, you deserve a fate worse than death, a life wishing to die from which you will never be able to escape, in fact…'- And he invoked the Force, so that a staff with one of the Children's shiny stones at one end fell into his hand. –'everyone calls me a sorcerer and calling my power "magic" is a very gross simplification, but for today I will give them the pleasure'- He turned to Cersei and shouted firmly: -'I will lock you in the prison that women like you fear the most, an old age in misery, a misery, worse than being poor!'- Then he turned to Nyra and said: 'Would you like to help me, my light?'- The gem on the staff lit up and Nyra ran to his side and took the staff, Nox approached her ear and asked: -'How did we rehearse, ready?'- she nodded, the gem began to shine and said:
-"As with your mother and as with your dame, I raise my staff, and you lose your frame."- Nyra hit the queen's face with the staff and a tooth fell out without blood.
-"Of all the gods, Time is the most cruel, I lower the cane and you lose your tool." – Alim said and hit the queen's throat with his staff and she couldn't scream.
-"No matter what you do, time moves forward, I move the staff and your belly grows outward." – Nyra hit the queen's belly with her staff and she started to get fat.
-"It happens to everything, whether made of metal or pine. I lower my staff, and you feel the spine."- Alim hit the end of the queen's back with his staff and she put her hand there like a normal old woman.
-"Find a sturdy chair, for you will fail to stand. I move my staff, and weakness hits your hand"- Nyra slammed the staff on the queen's knees and a distant muffled cry was heard.
-"No matter how you complain, life is relentless, I raise the staff and your mind blows defenseless." – Nox and Nyra said at the same time, and both holding the staff, they hit Cersei's head and she began to panic because her mind began to be saturated with all the suffering and injustice she committed, from the perspective of her victims, all of them, and she also felt what their bodies felt either because of the torture or the feelings she caused, and seeing herself as responsible for so many bad feelings tormented her, and she ended up breaking down with the memory of Nox giving her her well-deserved punishment that appeared vividly in her mind. Then Nyra cut a large robe that had signs of different sizes sewn all over it that said "Cersei Lannister, Queen of Sluts", she put it on Cersei Lannister, Queen of Sluts, and Alim said: "This will be your sentence and you will not be forgiven until you deserve it, I wish you a long life."
Nyra threw her out the highest window there was and Cersei fell several times on the roofs and balconies and into the street. She bled, vomited, and broke bones, but she did not die. Slowly her sense of hearing disappeared until the next hour. Cersei could not only not be hurt by anyone, but could not receive comfort from anything or anyone; and so she lived until the end of her days."
g. Change something if you can think of a way to improve it, or Skip this idea if you can think of a better one.
h. For Tywin Lannister, first his crimes are exposed so that he loses power in the people, and before being punished he is offered 2 options to redeem himself: Die or cooperate in the reconstruction of the Seven Kingdoms, not with money but by listening to Nox and his allies (not to say obeying them) in everything they tell him. Whether you accept that or his punishment depends on you. 14. Jon becomes king of the seven kingdoms and the only exception is to have more than one wife, but don't give him another, because three is a crowd and that will cause unnecessary complications, plus I'm already bored of the harems and I'm pretty sure there are many more who are too. I also ask you not to end the story when Jon sits on the Iron Throne, because since I found out the identity of his parents I wanted to see what Westeros would be like being ruled by him, even if it's in a continuation, and I think I wasn't the only one who thought so, in fact your Jon is more prepared than the original Jon.
15. I was about to ask you to make it so that Dany isn't Jon's aunt, but I remembered that she would be too busy rebuilding and ruling Valyria, so let it be.
16. Let Ned and Voice's love move forward, if one of them dies, let him have a noble and epic death.
17. Let Nox understand Hodor and be able to talk to him. And I ask you this because when the war against the White Walkers comes, I imagine this:
Nox: Daenerys doesn't want to help us, she doesn't want to go with her entire army here.
Jon: Will we at least have reinforcements?
Nox: No
Arya: Will she send us a fraction of her army?
Nox: I doubt it
Robb: A few troops?
Nox: Maybe not
Nyra: Mercenaries?
Hodor: Hodor?
Nox: Sort of
The others: *Make frustrated sounds*
18. Sansa turns out to be a lesbian and not Arya, because I'm SICK of the tough, strong, independent, or at least different girl turning out to be a lesbian and it's becoming a stereotype. I know you already made Jon's mother a lesbian and I'm not telling you to change that, but it would be great if you gave that surprise because I know lesbians in real life who are more feminine than normal girls.
19. I don't really like the ideas you have about technological progress, so to give you some good ideas I recommend the animated series "Dr. Stone", but I'll offer you a way to avoid the contamination of the industrial revolution. First Nox throws a lightning bolt at a long piece of iron and thus it becomes a magnet, he splits it vertically and puts a very wide copper coil or a wide copper disk to roll near or around it and thus generate electric current, then they attach the generator to a river and/or windmill, they put it in a house and/or building near a river and/or place with a lot of wind that does not interfere with the routes of the birds, and thus he has cheap electricity for the North (and I say cheap because somehow they must pay those who do the maintenance of the hydroelectric and wind plants that feed the cities and other buildings far from the rivers and places with wind), then the process of creating magnets is repeated and with it a bullet train is created, more specifically a Magnetic Levitation Train or Maglev train (investigate how they work), but that it be after the war so that it crosses vertically the entire continent of Westeros, thus killing two birds with one stone: Time is saved on trips, and since it will be a single track, there is no need to worry about the train being able to travel. jobs will still have to be lost in relation to travel, and it will only be used for trips of more than an hour on horseback and urgent messages. Methods that do not pollute the air or the sea should also be implemented, because Nox comes from a civilization that mastered interstellar travel, it is obvious that he must know how to work his world without mistreating the planet.
Suggestions for "Song of A Northern Sorcerer"
The most important one is to not give up, whenever you have the chance to write, but I recommend that whenever you have an idea you record it as a voice file on your cell phone or something like that.
The second most important one is that "the good guys" make smarter decisions than in the original series (like Robb marrying Talisa earlier and thus avoiding the Red Wedding), and I say this because the originals made me scream in anger a lot, you don't have to be complacent unless you come up with a better idea.
The third most important one is that you base it on the pre-Disney canon, you will avoid angering the wrong people.
And the fourth most important one is worth two. Address characters from the series and/or books that you forgot, for example Hodor, I haven't read anything about him, not that I remember and although I do like your story, I'm still waiting for him to appear or for you to say what Nox did with him; and most importantly, don't let him die, I BEG YOU, just remembering him makes me want to cry, and if Hodor is going to die anyway, let it be a just as noble death. I also ask you to close each story and subplot that you started or continue it in an intelligent and meaningful way so that it contributes, even a little, to the main plot, for example the story of Garlan the Gallant and his new family, I am interested in how he handles his family life, it would be interesting how their two ways of dealing with children clash. It would also be interesting to see how the story of Sam, Gilly and little Sam progresses, I always liked the story of those three and I know that I would like it more with the changes you made and very important, finish it better than the original series (I know that the books exist and I don't care). If necessary, make an entire chapter just for them if you don't have much time. In the following, listen to me if you want
1. To know what NOT to do, watch this: g
And this: /watch?vmid-GC8NNX4
2. Make a survey (on a social network or something) about who is the favorite character of each of your fans, and the most beloved one you must work on with great care and effort, if you decided that he should die, give him a dignified death and not a stupid one like many in the original story; and if you decide that he should live, give him a very good use and if he no longer contributes anything to the plot, say goodbye to him in a calm way.
3. Don't let Nyra die, she's necessary and we all love her, at least let her live while Nox learns to live without her, and also give her iconic and cool moments, you already started with chapter 42, and I'm liking it.
4. Don't make so many chapters to resolve the Religious War, I say this because I've already waited too long to find out what would happen if a Force user fell in Westeros, and I liked and loved them, but don't take so long, at most use the same number of chapters before it starts (40 at most).
5. Alim Nox was a Sith and wants to restore the balance of the Je'daii and for that to be possible a Jedi must fall in Westeros (if your fanfiction takes place during the Jedi purge it will be easier to justify his arrival), I know it will be an interesting conflict and if it is handled well, it will be epic if at first he despises him just for being a Sith and then he joins in all of Nox's fights, and then neither Alim nor the Jedi present themselves as their holy doctrines (Jedi and Sith), but as Je'daii, and that they also find out about the fall of Palpatine and the birth of the New Republic, although you will have to save that for much later.
6. Since there will be a religious war, Nox should manage to not unite the Force with religions, but religions with The Force. With the Old Gods it is already solved. With the Red Priestess it will be more or less possible to get her on his side, he has to introduce her to the Force, show her that he has the same powers as her and that they have a common enemy (the White Walkers and the ice zombies), and if the negotiation goes wrong it should be an intense but brief battle, if the negotiation goes well he should join her in his cause of restoring the Je'daii order. With the Faith of the Seven it will be difficult, because they are the ones who most oppose the Force, so he has to hit them where it hurts the most by exposing the crimes and sins of each septon he meets and judge them based on their sacred texts so that it hurts even more and they have less rights to persecute Nox for both the common people and the members of that religion, as for the High Sparrow he must show him that his visions are a power of the Force and achieve a non-aggression pact (so to speak) and thus straighten out the believers of the Faith of the Seven so that everyone coexists harmoniously.
7. Although I like the brutal moments you put in your story, it would also be nice if these wars were fought with brains, that the girls broke Ned out of jail (or so I thought) disguised as a dead man was brilliant, but something that I consider will also be intelligent is "Divide and Conquer", but I'm not talking about having half of Westeros on the Nox side, but also turning the common people against the crown as you surely noticed a while ago; for example, when the southern soldiers see how well the northern ones are doing and see how they have better medical conditions, better facilities, better weapons, better logistics, better rights, better everything and mainly, better treatment from their superiors by the soldiers and the common people, then they will decide en masse to betray them at the same time (or almost) and thus Nox will put the royal family against the ropes. It sounds very sith-like, but we're talking about Alim Nox, a seasoned and accomplished strategist, and not doing so would be very foolish, not to mention stupid, and would ruin your story.
8. I sometimes like to listen to music when I read your story, and to get some good ideas I recommend these:
/ ClassicsExplained/videos
/ Vox/search?queryearworm
9. I ask that you give brutal moments of Nox's apprentices, give them epic and memorable moments on and off the battlefield, and make them worthy of this: /watch?vUJ4Nel-aHZM
10. Also give a much more brutal moment of Nox and very worthy of this: /watch?vGc-KYaxdiTk&
11. Even though Nox has the advantage and is on high ground, the South must fight him. Little Finger making a potion to block his Force powers is brilliant, and to give you more good ideas I recommend this: "How to Become a Tyrant", "How to Become a Cult Leader", "How to Become a Mob Boss"
12. /search?sCseconvirtieron
13. If you're going to punish the bad guys, I imagine it like this:
a. Jaime is forced to publicly confess his crimes and sins (according to the Seven), including that Joffrey, Mirsella, and Tommen are his children, then his hand is cut off and he's sent to the wall (Because a Star Wars story without an amputated limb isn't Star Wars)
b. Ramsey Bolton (or your equivalent) is killed
c. Little Finger is killed, he's a hopeless psychopath and if you can think of a punishment worse than death, I'm not going to stop you.
d. Gregor Clegane is killed in a way that his brute strength can save him from, whether it's being impaled by a lightsaber, being burned alive, poisoned, sickened, melted in acid, get creative.
e. If you were to kill Joffrey, have Arya kill him in the most brutal, ironic and humiliating way, with emphasis on ironic, all of that in front of Cersei, don't be afraid to use your imagination. And I emphasize that Arya be the one to kill him because I was waiting 8 seasons for her to kill Joffrey and Cersei and it made me angry that it didn't happen.
f. For Cersei I have something special, it occurs to me that in addition to demanding all her evil against Westeros, that Tommen and Mirsella turn against her, because she spends the whole series insisting that she loves her children and the scolding will hurt her even more if it comes from her children but as Cersei does not deserve mercy I will continue; then Nox tortures her by electrocuting her to burn all the nerves in her body so that she cannot feel any pleasure of any kind, because she herself said that she did what she did because it felt good; and then I imagine this:
"Nox having Cersei kneeling and surrendered decided that she deserved a fate worse than death, looked at the audience and said: -'But this does not end here, you deserve a fate worse than death, a life wishing to die from which you will never be able to escape, in fact…'- And he invoked the Force, so that a staff with one of the Children's shiny stones at one end fell into his hand. –'everyone calls me a sorcerer and calling my power "magic" is a very gross simplification, but for today I will give them the pleasure'- He turned to Cersei and shouted firmly: -'I will lock you in the prison that women like you fear the most, an old age in misery, a misery, worse than being poor!'- Then he turned to Nyra and said: 'Would you like to help me, my light?'- The gem on the staff lit up and Nyra ran to his side and took the staff, Nox approached her ear and asked: -'How did we rehearse, ready?'- she nodded, the gem began to shine and said:
-"As with your mother and as with your dame, I raise my staff, and you lose your frame."- Nyra hit the queen's face with the staff and a tooth fell out without blood.
-"Of all the gods, Time is the most cruel, I lower the cane and you lose your tool." – Alim said and hit the queen's throat with his staff and she couldn't scream.
-"No matter what you do, time moves forward, I move the staff and your belly grows outward." – Nyra hit the queen's belly with her staff and she started to get fat.
-"It happens to everything, whether made of metal or pine. I lower my staff, and you feel the spine."- Alim hit the end of the queen's back with his staff and she put her hand there like a normal old woman.
-"Find a sturdy chair, for you will fail to stand. I move my staff, and weakness hits your hand"- Nyra slammed the staff on the queen's knees and a distant muffled cry was heard.
-"No matter how you complain, life is relentless, I raise the staff and your mind blows defenseless." – Nox and Nyra said at the same time, and both holding the staff, they hit Cersei's head and she began to panic because her mind began to be saturated with all the suffering and injustice she committed, from the perspective of her victims, all of them, and she also felt what their bodies felt either because of the torture or the feelings she caused, and seeing herself as responsible for so many bad feelings tormented her, and she ended up breaking down with the memory of Nox giving her her well-deserved punishment that appeared vividly in her mind. Then Nyra cut a large robe that had signs of different sizes sewn all over it that said "Cersei Lannister, Queen of Sluts", she put it on Cersei Lannister, Queen of Sluts, and Alim said: "This will be your sentence and you will not be forgiven until you deserve it, I wish you a long life."
Nyra threw her out the highest window there was and Cersei fell several times on the roofs and balconies and into the street. She bled, vomited, and broke bones, but she did not die. Slowly her sense of hearing disappeared until the next hour. Cersei could not only not be hurt by anyone, but could not receive comfort from anything or anyone; and so she lived until the end of her days."
g. Change something if you can think of a way to improve it, or Skip this idea if you can think of a better one.
h. For Tywin Lannister, first his crimes are exposed so that he loses power in the people, and before being punished he is offered 2 options to redeem himself: Die or cooperate in the reconstruction of the Seven Kingdoms, not with money but by listening to Nox and his allies (not to say obeying them) in everything they tell him. Whether you accept that or his punishment depends on you. 14. Jon becomes king of the seven kingdoms and the only exception is to have more than one wife, but don't give him another, because three is a crowd and that will cause unnecessary complications, plus I'm already bored of the harems and I'm pretty sure there are many more who are too. I also ask you not to end the story when Jon sits on the Iron Throne, because since I found out the identity of his parents I wanted to see what Westeros would be like being ruled by him, even if it's in a continuation, and I think I wasn't the only one who thought so, in fact your Jon is more prepared than the original Jon.
15. I was about to ask you to make it so that Dany isn't Jon's aunt, but I remembered that she would be too busy rebuilding and ruling Valyria, so let it be.
16. Let Ned and Voice's love move forward, if one of them dies, let him have a noble and epic death.
17. Let Nox understand Hodor and be able to talk to him. And I ask you this because when the war against the White Walkers comes, I imagine this:
Nox: Daenerys doesn't want to help us, she doesn't want to go with her entire army here.
Jon: Will we at least have reinforcements?
Nox: No
Arya: Will she send us a fraction of her army?
Nox: I doubt it
Robb: A few troops?
Nox: Maybe not
Nyra: Mercenaries?
Hodor: Hodor?
Nox: Sort of
The others: *Make frustrated sounds*
18. Sansa turns out to be a lesbian and not Arya, because I'm SICK of the tough, strong, independent, or at least different girl turning out to be a lesbian and it's becoming a stereotype. I know you already made Jon's mother a lesbian and I'm not telling you to change that, but it would be great if you gave that surprise because I know lesbians in real life who are more feminine than normal girls.
19. I don't really like the ideas you have about technological progress, so to give you some good ideas I recommend the animated series "Dr. Stone", but I'll offer you a way to avoid the contamination of the industrial revolution. First Nox throws a lightning bolt at a long piece of iron and thus it becomes a magnet, he splits it vertically and puts a very wide copper coil or a wide copper disk to roll near or around it and thus generate electric current, then they attach the generator to a river and/or windmill, they put it in a house and/or building near a river and/or place with a lot of wind that does not interfere with the routes of the birds, and thus he has cheap electricity for the North (and I say cheap because somehow they must pay those who do the maintenance of the hydroelectric and wind plants that feed the cities and other buildings far from the rivers and places with wind), then the process of creating magnets is repeated and with it a bullet train is created, more specifically a Magnetic Levitation Train or Maglev train (investigate how they work), but that it be after the war so that it crosses vertically the entire continent of Westeros, thus killing two birds with one stone: Time is saved on trips, and since it will be a single track, there is no need to worry about the train being able to travel. jobs will still have to be lost in relation to travel, and it will only be used for trips of more than an hour on horseback and urgent messages. Methods that do not pollute the air or the sea should also be implemented, because Nox comes from a civilization that mastered interstellar travel, it is obvious that he must know how to work his world without mistreating the planet.
6/9 c46 Guest
please send more chapters soon!
please send more chapters soon!
6/7 c46 Guest
You know if I didn't know any better, I would think you ripped off every bashing cliche in the fandom. Oh yes, the Seven are evil, let's wipe them out, because it's only bad when the Andals did it a thousand years ago. Oh yes, Catelyn abuses and starves Jon and somehow her husband and children never notice. Oh yes, Ashara and Ned shared one dance together and clearly their love is better and more pure than Ned and Catelyn. Oop better make sure she worships the Old Gods (despite no canon evidence) otherwise she's not good enough to marry him. Oh, yes let's respectfully treat Tywin Lannister despite being a abusive asshole who massacres thousands over a single slight and hate Hoster Tully, a regular asshole, who felt guilty for the only truly heinous thing he did and there is no canon evidence that he is the bigot you painted him as.
It is disappointing that such a brilliant author ruins their story with childish and cliche bashing and favoritism. And worse of all, you have the gall to deny it.
You know if I didn't know any better, I would think you ripped off every bashing cliche in the fandom. Oh yes, the Seven are evil, let's wipe them out, because it's only bad when the Andals did it a thousand years ago. Oh yes, Catelyn abuses and starves Jon and somehow her husband and children never notice. Oh yes, Ashara and Ned shared one dance together and clearly their love is better and more pure than Ned and Catelyn. Oop better make sure she worships the Old Gods (despite no canon evidence) otherwise she's not good enough to marry him. Oh, yes let's respectfully treat Tywin Lannister despite being a abusive asshole who massacres thousands over a single slight and hate Hoster Tully, a regular asshole, who felt guilty for the only truly heinous thing he did and there is no canon evidence that he is the bigot you painted him as.
It is disappointing that such a brilliant author ruins their story with childish and cliche bashing and favoritism. And worse of all, you have the gall to deny it.
6/6 c46 kerikheuer.01
just a question. what battle did tywin Lannister ever win other than against The reynes of castamere when he had three times the men?
he's built up as some great military commander but in Canon he never won a battle other other than against the reynes.
he didn't lead any man in the war of the nine Penny Kings.
he didn't fight in any battles in Robert's rebellion.
he didn't lead any men in the greyjoy rebellion.
so why this meme that tywin Lannister is such a great military Commander cuz you got his ass kicked by Rob Stark a 16 year old boy multiple times and had to resort to treachery to kill him.
just a question. what battle did tywin Lannister ever win other than against The reynes of castamere when he had three times the men?
he's built up as some great military commander but in Canon he never won a battle other other than against the reynes.
he didn't lead any man in the war of the nine Penny Kings.
he didn't fight in any battles in Robert's rebellion.
he didn't lead any men in the greyjoy rebellion.
so why this meme that tywin Lannister is such a great military Commander cuz you got his ass kicked by Rob Stark a 16 year old boy multiple times and had to resort to treachery to kill him.
6/4 c2 qwret
I always hate this the most. A strong stranger saves a child and helps him home, the child's family proceeds to interogate him and demand all hiss weapons. The stranger gives all his weapons and all knowledge he humanely can and they still barely trust him. They already owe him for saving jon's life
I always hate this the most. A strong stranger saves a child and helps him home, the child's family proceeds to interogate him and demand all hiss weapons. The stranger gives all his weapons and all knowledge he humanely can and they still barely trust him. They already owe him for saving jon's life
6/1 c43 
7Animephilosopher1
Fantastic story, very engaging and with a balance of events or consequences going for and against the Starks plus fallout from each one that enhancing the tale.
I've been reading and re-reading this fanfic for a year now and I extremely enjoy it every time. I do an enquiry towards the styles separate people employ with lightsabers, as well. ffdrake has established that Arya, Danny and Jon both employ lightsaber styles drawn from Star Wars; Makashi, Soresu, Ataru and Juyo. Reading of Sansa fighting in this chapter has sparked my curiosity towards Bran, Shireen, Joy Gendry and especially Robb and their respective styles.
From Sansa's chapter she does not directly follow any of the 7 forms (9 depending on the dynamics between Shien/Djem So and Juyo or Vapaad). That said, Makashi has been called "the dance of the duelist" in novels before, plus gracefulness and footwork plus a one-handed grip are hallmarks of Form 2. That, or the simple cuts, sweep and agile movements described could have rough correlations with Shii-Cho, but not a purist application of the art.
That...or in theory Sansa might employ a rudimentary form of Niman, adapted for her previous skills at dancing. A mix of separate techniques that are easily to learn and ideal for Sith or Jedi to be adequate in most violent encounters and free to explore other pursuits. She would not be a master-class of Niman, she isn't Exar Kun or Kao Cen Darach (implied), or Darth Kryat; that closest parallel in "Song of a Northern Sorcerer" is Oberyn Martell.
Bran was learning Ataru forms from Arya during the Harenhall Arc, however what about the other apprentices and their respective forms? Robb had even been depicted in multiple combat scenes with no styles name-dropped. I do have my own opinion on him (possibly Shii-Choo and Djem So, or Shien as a middle-ground to be effective against multiple foes o an battlefield). that' or Robb could even grow equilvant to Lord Hoth.
Lord Hoth was a figure from the Darth Bane novels, and is very underrated as a swordsman despite standing as a Jedi battlemaster during the height of a serious Galactic-scale war. As a battlemaster, Hoth would have reached academic mastery in very style practiced, however every figure with this accomplishment have their own preferred styles to use more than others (Mace WinduVapaad, Darth VaderDjem So, YodaAtaru, Kyle KatarnShii-Cho, Djem SO and Ataru [applied through Strong Style, Medium-style and Fast-style]). Hoth was known for a towering, muscular build and impressive strength, but I do not think he favoured Form V, due to his own Padawan and his accomplishments as a battlefield Jedi.
Hoth trained Johun Othone for around a decade, and most Padawan follow their master's preferred form (most of them), which was Niman in order to adapt to how radically different separate battlefields could become. That, and Hoth would pivot and adapt multiple times over the course of "Path of Destruction" responding to the Sith under Lord Khan (a rapid blitzkrieg, then guriella ambushes, then a gradually offense, and finally a commando raid on the Thought Bomb). that, and he could be everywhere on a battlefield, cleaving through separate foes like a wild storm. These indicate Niman and Shii-Cho were his preferred fighting styles, and could be a model for Robb Stark to follow.
ffdrake, would you be open to name-drop more lightsaber styles between Nox's apprentices in future chapters?
7Animephilosopher1Fantastic story, very engaging and with a balance of events or consequences going for and against the Starks plus fallout from each one that enhancing the tale.
I've been reading and re-reading this fanfic for a year now and I extremely enjoy it every time. I do an enquiry towards the styles separate people employ with lightsabers, as well. ffdrake has established that Arya, Danny and Jon both employ lightsaber styles drawn from Star Wars; Makashi, Soresu, Ataru and Juyo. Reading of Sansa fighting in this chapter has sparked my curiosity towards Bran, Shireen, Joy Gendry and especially Robb and their respective styles.
From Sansa's chapter she does not directly follow any of the 7 forms (9 depending on the dynamics between Shien/Djem So and Juyo or Vapaad). That said, Makashi has been called "the dance of the duelist" in novels before, plus gracefulness and footwork plus a one-handed grip are hallmarks of Form 2. That, or the simple cuts, sweep and agile movements described could have rough correlations with Shii-Cho, but not a purist application of the art.
That...or in theory Sansa might employ a rudimentary form of Niman, adapted for her previous skills at dancing. A mix of separate techniques that are easily to learn and ideal for Sith or Jedi to be adequate in most violent encounters and free to explore other pursuits. She would not be a master-class of Niman, she isn't Exar Kun or Kao Cen Darach (implied), or Darth Kryat; that closest parallel in "Song of a Northern Sorcerer" is Oberyn Martell.
Bran was learning Ataru forms from Arya during the Harenhall Arc, however what about the other apprentices and their respective forms? Robb had even been depicted in multiple combat scenes with no styles name-dropped. I do have my own opinion on him (possibly Shii-Choo and Djem So, or Shien as a middle-ground to be effective against multiple foes o an battlefield). that' or Robb could even grow equilvant to Lord Hoth.
Lord Hoth was a figure from the Darth Bane novels, and is very underrated as a swordsman despite standing as a Jedi battlemaster during the height of a serious Galactic-scale war. As a battlemaster, Hoth would have reached academic mastery in very style practiced, however every figure with this accomplishment have their own preferred styles to use more than others (Mace WinduVapaad, Darth VaderDjem So, YodaAtaru, Kyle KatarnShii-Cho, Djem SO and Ataru [applied through Strong Style, Medium-style and Fast-style]). Hoth was known for a towering, muscular build and impressive strength, but I do not think he favoured Form V, due to his own Padawan and his accomplishments as a battlefield Jedi.
Hoth trained Johun Othone for around a decade, and most Padawan follow their master's preferred form (most of them), which was Niman in order to adapt to how radically different separate battlefields could become. That, and Hoth would pivot and adapt multiple times over the course of "Path of Destruction" responding to the Sith under Lord Khan (a rapid blitzkrieg, then guriella ambushes, then a gradually offense, and finally a commando raid on the Thought Bomb). that, and he could be everywhere on a battlefield, cleaving through separate foes like a wild storm. These indicate Niman and Shii-Cho were his preferred fighting styles, and could be a model for Robb Stark to follow.
ffdrake, would you be open to name-drop more lightsaber styles between Nox's apprentices in future chapters?
5/28 c46 2ZelotArchon
Love the story so far, all id ask is that you dont change povs so much. It can get quite confusing
2ZelotArchonLove the story so far, all id ask is that you dont change povs so much. It can get quite confusing
5/28 c46 Guest
j est hate de voir la suite
j est hate de voir la suite
5/27 c39 Guest
normalement nox pourait prejeter sont ame ou ècense patout sur cette planéte mem au-de la
normalement nox pourait prejeter sont ame ou ècense patout sur cette planéte mem au-de la
5/27 c38 Guest
pour qoi nox ne fait pas éclore un dragon grace a la force il peut controler le feux et l enplifier sa chaleur et une fois écloe il poura utiliser l achimie sits sur le dragon pour le rendre bien plus puissant et plus gros ,et c est faux il plein de créture intiligente ou pas qui utilises la force sant parler des créatures créer par les sits grace a l achimie sits
pour qoi nox ne fait pas éclore un dragon grace a la force il peut controler le feux et l enplifier sa chaleur et une fois écloe il poura utiliser l achimie sits sur le dragon pour le rendre bien plus puissant et plus gros ,et c est faux il plein de créture intiligente ou pas qui utilises la force sant parler des créatures créer par les sits grace a l achimie sits