for Song of A Northern Sorcerer12/5/2020 c12 Asasyn13
Man, I knew I was missing something in the last three days. Anyway, thanks and congratulations as always. I also wish you a lot of health, enthusiasm and inspiration.
Now for the chapter:
1. The prospect of Ellaria, her anxiety and reaction to the crew's return was good and nice to read.
2. I thought you would introduce Gerion as a bit more... gloomy? In a sense, you will emphasize Gerion's hatred of Tywin and his way of acting, decisions etc. But showing his feelings for Joy make up for it.
3. Honestly, I was counting on you to write something about these Valyrian books. What are they about or at least what areas they concern. I understand that you are going to mention them in the next chapters?
4. Do you plan on giving Oberyn's spear or spear-swords the ability to stick out?
5. It's not a criticism, but I think you could have made better use of Jon's storyline to create his own lightsaber.
6. Such as imagining it, dreaming about it in one of "wolf dreams" or even collecting special materials (especially the Weirwood or Ironwood- in the case of the latter, maybe some Forrester's story?) under the watchful eye of Nox.
7. I like the development of Asha Greyjoy. I also have two suggestions for her future- an argument with her brother and the recruitment of uncle Victarion. In the first thing, my point is that Theon will want to grab her galleon, emphasizing his status as heir to the Iron Islands and mocking her as a "stupid woman" (or any other insult). Asha will refuse, beats his ass, and consolidate her resolve to rule and reform the Ironborn. Victarion will be recruited on her boat after her returning home, fixing him after losing a hand, status and Balon's favor. Thanks to this, he will gain an experienced sailor and almost a fanatic follower. Oh, and let her make a requirement for all those men who will wish to marry or sleep with her- defeating Nox in combat ;)
8. Nox's conversation with Doran and its performance were just brilliant. Show about Arianne-Jon's first meeting was also fun. I thought you would do it like "an incredibly cunning and ambitious princess looks for a partner for her plans and then suddenly she meets the perfect candidate- straight, strong in the sword and uninterested in politics boy''. Not literally, of course. But But I didn't expect Arianne to know about Jon before the meeting (this is in part because of my opposition to portraying Arryn as the master of intrigue).
9. You can somehow use Darkstar in the future in a scenario where he attacks and tries to rape Arianne, but Jon arrives at the last minute and I save the princess (I'd recommend that the whole thing would be structured as some kind of "master" plan by Cersei).
10. I hope the next chapter will be something about the Seven Kingdoms in Nox's absence or their reaction to his return (I am counting especially on a meeting of maesters, Little Councils and maybe Faith?). Also, I am asking is it possible for an update to come this month? You know, You know, because of Christmas :)
Man, I knew I was missing something in the last three days. Anyway, thanks and congratulations as always. I also wish you a lot of health, enthusiasm and inspiration.
Now for the chapter:
1. The prospect of Ellaria, her anxiety and reaction to the crew's return was good and nice to read.
2. I thought you would introduce Gerion as a bit more... gloomy? In a sense, you will emphasize Gerion's hatred of Tywin and his way of acting, decisions etc. But showing his feelings for Joy make up for it.
3. Honestly, I was counting on you to write something about these Valyrian books. What are they about or at least what areas they concern. I understand that you are going to mention them in the next chapters?
4. Do you plan on giving Oberyn's spear or spear-swords the ability to stick out?
5. It's not a criticism, but I think you could have made better use of Jon's storyline to create his own lightsaber.
6. Such as imagining it, dreaming about it in one of "wolf dreams" or even collecting special materials (especially the Weirwood or Ironwood- in the case of the latter, maybe some Forrester's story?) under the watchful eye of Nox.
7. I like the development of Asha Greyjoy. I also have two suggestions for her future- an argument with her brother and the recruitment of uncle Victarion. In the first thing, my point is that Theon will want to grab her galleon, emphasizing his status as heir to the Iron Islands and mocking her as a "stupid woman" (or any other insult). Asha will refuse, beats his ass, and consolidate her resolve to rule and reform the Ironborn. Victarion will be recruited on her boat after her returning home, fixing him after losing a hand, status and Balon's favor. Thanks to this, he will gain an experienced sailor and almost a fanatic follower. Oh, and let her make a requirement for all those men who will wish to marry or sleep with her- defeating Nox in combat ;)
8. Nox's conversation with Doran and its performance were just brilliant. Show about Arianne-Jon's first meeting was also fun. I thought you would do it like "an incredibly cunning and ambitious princess looks for a partner for her plans and then suddenly she meets the perfect candidate- straight, strong in the sword and uninterested in politics boy''. Not literally, of course. But But I didn't expect Arianne to know about Jon before the meeting (this is in part because of my opposition to portraying Arryn as the master of intrigue).
9. You can somehow use Darkstar in the future in a scenario where he attacks and tries to rape Arianne, but Jon arrives at the last minute and I save the princess (I'd recommend that the whole thing would be structured as some kind of "master" plan by Cersei).
10. I hope the next chapter will be something about the Seven Kingdoms in Nox's absence or their reaction to his return (I am counting especially on a meeting of maesters, Little Councils and maybe Faith?). Also, I am asking is it possible for an update to come this month? You know, You know, because of Christmas :)
12/5/2020 c12 Guest
I hop Nyra is ok I like see her interact with the others down south.
I hop Nyra is ok I like see her interact with the others down south.
12/5/2020 c12 Guest
I'm guesting Nox left a little "present" with Nyra before he left for Valyria. *wink,wink*
I'm guesting Nox left a little "present" with Nyra before he left for Valyria. *wink,wink*
12/5/2020 c12 Guest
Arianne and Jon or Jon and Obara I can't decide T_T
Arianne and Jon or Jon and Obara I can't decide T_T
12/5/2020 c12 Guest
I love it I love it keep going.
I love it I love it keep going.
512/5/2020 c12 Code Viper
If you going to have a harem for Jon just stick with wArianne and the Sand snakes it make sense in that aspect and have the other females pair with the other stark kids since they clearly are force sensitive like Jon and I’m pretty sure nox will have more than just one apprentice
Also I’m all for nox having Asha Greyjoy as lover along with his current one as well but that’s about it
If you going to have a harem for Jon just stick with wArianne and the Sand snakes it make sense in that aspect and have the other females pair with the other stark kids since they clearly are force sensitive like Jon and I’m pretty sure nox will have more than just one apprentice
Also I’m all for nox having Asha Greyjoy as lover along with his current one as well but that’s about it
12/5/2020 c12 Relim
I gotta say, this is an awesome story so far. Can't wait 'til next month! :)
I gotta say, this is an awesome story so far. Can't wait 'til next month! :)
12/5/2020 c12 XM312
And in one move the value of Valyrian steel plummeted as the Westeros supply tripled. Might be overstating it since there's not really a shortage of houses that want one (or a second) for status. Really look forward to the next couple chapters as the trip is wrapped up and the aftermath dealt with.
And in one move the value of Valyrian steel plummeted as the Westeros supply tripled. Might be overstating it since there's not really a shortage of houses that want one (or a second) for status. Really look forward to the next couple chapters as the trip is wrapped up and the aftermath dealt with.
12/5/2020 c12 Gideon Brinker
great chapter, I haven't seen nor read many games of thrones crossover with star wars/sith, but this has been the story I have ever read, I always check every day to see if you updated, I look forward to the next chapter, keep up the great work, wish you luck, and also happy holidays
great chapter, I haven't seen nor read many games of thrones crossover with star wars/sith, but this has been the story I have ever read, I always check every day to see if you updated, I look forward to the next chapter, keep up the great work, wish you luck, and also happy holidays
12/5/2020 c12 Rex TarMinyatur
Great story all around. Darkstar got what's coming to him but in my opinion, leaving him alive is a mistake. Doran may pay for that later.
Great story all around. Darkstar got what's coming to him but in my opinion, leaving him alive is a mistake. Doran may pay for that later.
12/5/2020 c12 dpx6101
Awesome chapter. I think you should give Jon a harem. Normally I am antsy about this stuff but ASOIAF is filled with many characters that are dealt shitty hands in life and hopefully this is a way of helping them.
Awesome chapter. I think you should give Jon a harem. Normally I am antsy about this stuff but ASOIAF is filled with many characters that are dealt shitty hands in life and hopefully this is a way of helping them.