for Adrift in Remnant7/18/2020 c7 E Hamel
I am late in posting a review; apologies. I still won't be reviewing each chapter. The reason though that this comes late is quite simple. I binge read the whole thing and was promptly both too tired and too satisfied to post anything.
Do continue writing, please. It's a good story.
I am late in posting a review; apologies. I still won't be reviewing each chapter. The reason though that this comes late is quite simple. I binge read the whole thing and was promptly both too tired and too satisfied to post anything.
Do continue writing, please. It's a good story.
67/7/2020 c3 eseer
actually, motivation is the lifeblood of an author, but its also the lifeblood of pracctically every occupation, so...
actually, motivation is the lifeblood of an author, but its also the lifeblood of pracctically every occupation, so...
7/5/2020 c7 Guest
Kill White F*ng
Kill White F*ng
5/24/2020 c6 Wytaele
Thanks for the chapter TK!
Weiss's thoughts I find are portrayed well in that they look like they come from someone still in shock from a frantically violent situation. But, um, how old is she? The last age's I can gather are them being 5 years old with Jien ahead of Weiss by 5ish months, and Winter being 11 afaik. If that's still the current ages, then Weiss's thought process is (please forgive me) much too coherent. Perhaps an upgrade on the extents of her nightmare into a proper night terror, would feel realistic?
And now I'm thinking of a grown terrorist getting beaten by a 5-6 year old with aura, and a sweet sword almost as long as he is tall. The body proportions we associate with that age range make it feel wonky. For future referencing of Jien's last move, it can be argued to have been done in the moment with the blend of high adrenaline, anger, and panic instead.
Aside from the initial slice opening a smile in the throat, would there be enough pain to even register to the brain? Since it'll be rapidly be losing its supply of blood. I'm not learned in bio, feel free to correct me.
On happy note: Brought a smile to see that Jien has been joining Weiss in singing, and I sincerely hope it stays a thing for a while longer even if it may be used as a point of minor embarrassment when they are teens. Really glad that the mother, was able to get in some last words at least! A good sign that the mc hopefully won't grow into one full of edge.
Wonder what's Ozpin thinking. Keep well!
Thanks for the chapter TK!
Weiss's thoughts I find are portrayed well in that they look like they come from someone still in shock from a frantically violent situation. But, um, how old is she? The last age's I can gather are them being 5 years old with Jien ahead of Weiss by 5ish months, and Winter being 11 afaik. If that's still the current ages, then Weiss's thought process is (please forgive me) much too coherent. Perhaps an upgrade on the extents of her nightmare into a proper night terror, would feel realistic?
And now I'm thinking of a grown terrorist getting beaten by a 5-6 year old with aura, and a sweet sword almost as long as he is tall. The body proportions we associate with that age range make it feel wonky. For future referencing of Jien's last move, it can be argued to have been done in the moment with the blend of high adrenaline, anger, and panic instead.
Aside from the initial slice opening a smile in the throat, would there be enough pain to even register to the brain? Since it'll be rapidly be losing its supply of blood. I'm not learned in bio, feel free to correct me.
On happy note: Brought a smile to see that Jien has been joining Weiss in singing, and I sincerely hope it stays a thing for a while longer even if it may be used as a point of minor embarrassment when they are teens. Really glad that the mother, was able to get in some last words at least! A good sign that the mc hopefully won't grow into one full of edge.
Wonder what's Ozpin thinking. Keep well!
4/29/2020 c5 Sunrayz
ah yes, death of a parent, how excellent. Cool fic bro, I enjoy the premise and await your next chapter!
ah yes, death of a parent, how excellent. Cool fic bro, I enjoy the premise and await your next chapter!
4/26/2020 c5 Arclight001
Hey, i just found this story and its great so far!. As for the music i typically dont mind it.
Hey, i just found this story and its great so far!. As for the music i typically dont mind it.
4/11/2020 c4 Wytaele
The transition from being handed the flyer to being called to leave by his Auntie felt a little abrupt with how we don’t really see the end of interaction between Jien and the two dog Faunus. My bad if you already planned to address that next chapter.
With how much of the flyer’s detail Jien observed, I’m thinking he took it or stared at it while the woman held it out awkwardly.
Thanks for the chapter TK! Guess even Jien appreciates the romance of wielding an Eagle, huh?
The transition from being handed the flyer to being called to leave by his Auntie felt a little abrupt with how we don’t really see the end of interaction between Jien and the two dog Faunus. My bad if you already planned to address that next chapter.
With how much of the flyer’s detail Jien observed, I’m thinking he took it or stared at it while the woman held it out awkwardly.
Thanks for the chapter TK! Guess even Jien appreciates the romance of wielding an Eagle, huh?
3/26/2020 c3 Wytaele
Dang, I need to catch up on the episodes again.
Plot hook spotted! The entries were clear enough to follow. Despite the codenames,
don't think it'd hold against Cinderella, Doctor, Queen or Z's inner circle if they get a hold of the journal.
Tho I guess it'll also depend on if the stories exist there as well to give context clues
Anyways. Enjoying the position that you've started Jien from! Thanks for the chapter TK!
Dang, I need to catch up on the episodes again.
Plot hook spotted! The entries were clear enough to follow. Despite the codenames,
don't think it'd hold against Cinderella, Doctor, Queen or Z's inner circle if they get a hold of the journal.
Tho I guess it'll also depend on if the stories exist there as well to give context clues
Anyways. Enjoying the position that you've started Jien from! Thanks for the chapter TK!