for A Second Chance11/28 c15 Brad
I hope you continue, this is a good story and not one like others I’ve read.
I hope you continue, this is a good story and not one like others I’ve read.
10/27 c15 mark.lyons.3682
Obi-Wan, who never apolagized (confused sentence lacks a conclusion).
It wasn’t a pretty thingMost people don’t know that a dashis made by typing two hyphensin a row).
Something which he recalled botheringhaving” confuses this sententence).
It wasn’t common for a jedi to live with a droid the way Artoo had lived with Annikin (Paralellism is maintaining meaningful orders to help readers connect pairs of ideas like these two. Jedi:droid connects better to Artoo:Annikin than Annikin:Artoo.)
I REALLY like an insistent blatt.
Separare “rather than feeling bothered” from the sentnce. Separate “perhaps ever” from the sentence. These are called parenthetical phrases, typically separated by commas, dashes, or parentheses to prevent confusion (usually commas). This rule works for all separarors. No confusion: no comma.
I LOVE the reflection on Artoo and Treppio as possible plans smugglers.
Lots of hypens used as dashes.
“Keeping Sidious from suspecting,” this sentenc (the first of only two in the paragraph) is a three-clause compound sentence with three parenthetical phrases in the third clause. You punctuate it carefully and well. It may still be weighty enough to be divided. The paragraph is mighty short…
GREAT conversations with Artoo.
This conversation with Sidious is so good…
“Affected me greatly, however;”
Much better, Darling, much better! Wow, you just keep impressing me!
I love you, Dad
Obi-Wan, who never apolagized (confused sentence lacks a conclusion).
It wasn’t a pretty thingMost people don’t know that a dashis made by typing two hyphensin a row).
Something which he recalled botheringhaving” confuses this sententence).
It wasn’t common for a jedi to live with a droid the way Artoo had lived with Annikin (Paralellism is maintaining meaningful orders to help readers connect pairs of ideas like these two. Jedi:droid connects better to Artoo:Annikin than Annikin:Artoo.)
I REALLY like an insistent blatt.
Separare “rather than feeling bothered” from the sentnce. Separate “perhaps ever” from the sentence. These are called parenthetical phrases, typically separated by commas, dashes, or parentheses to prevent confusion (usually commas). This rule works for all separarors. No confusion: no comma.
I LOVE the reflection on Artoo and Treppio as possible plans smugglers.
Lots of hypens used as dashes.
“Keeping Sidious from suspecting,” this sentenc (the first of only two in the paragraph) is a three-clause compound sentence with three parenthetical phrases in the third clause. You punctuate it carefully and well. It may still be weighty enough to be divided. The paragraph is mighty short…
GREAT conversations with Artoo.
This conversation with Sidious is so good…
“Affected me greatly, however;”
Much better, Darling, much better! Wow, you just keep impressing me!
I love you, Dad
6/28 c11 Zealot07
who came back, anakin o Vader? can you decide you dumb fuck?
anakin is redeemed jedi, Vader is the sith lord. anakin died jedi.
who came back, anakin o Vader? can you decide you dumb fuck?
anakin is redeemed jedi, Vader is the sith lord. anakin died jedi.
6/28 c11 Zealot07
can you decide who was sent back? Vader or Anakin you dumb fuck? vader is the sith, anakin is how he died in front of luke. this chaaptrr
can you decide who was sent back? Vader or Anakin you dumb fuck? vader is the sith, anakin is how he died in front of luke. this chaaptrr
6/26 c15 
11Katla1
Omg I am actually trembling!
Ok, ok, let me start from the beginning, though. The little snippets of Anakin getting used to motor functions again, of touch and feel, of human sensation, was so beautiful. It made me teary eyed.
And Artoo was so precious, omg.
But anything to do with Sidious was just… dreadful. It made me so anxious. And by the end of the final scene I was legit shaking a bit.
This story is so gooooood! DX
11Katla1Omg I am actually trembling!
Ok, ok, let me start from the beginning, though. The little snippets of Anakin getting used to motor functions again, of touch and feel, of human sensation, was so beautiful. It made me teary eyed.
And Artoo was so precious, omg.
But anything to do with Sidious was just… dreadful. It made me so anxious. And by the end of the final scene I was legit shaking a bit.
This story is so gooooood! DX
6/26 c14 Katla1
Oh my goodness, Anakin is so TERRIFYING in this chapter! He doesnt even have to do anything, just give you a LOOK. It was so palpable! My stomach is in knots. Omg I don’t know how well I can trust him. I don’t know what’s gonna happen!
It doesn’t feel like a happy rewrite. Nothing will ever be the same. Which frankly I have been wanting to see in media for a long time now. You can’t just wipe the slate clean when you’ve done THAT much evil. But I’m extremely curious what Anakin and Barriss will accomplish, and how the meditations will go…
Oh my goodness, Anakin is so TERRIFYING in this chapter! He doesnt even have to do anything, just give you a LOOK. It was so palpable! My stomach is in knots. Omg I don’t know how well I can trust him. I don’t know what’s gonna happen!
It doesn’t feel like a happy rewrite. Nothing will ever be the same. Which frankly I have been wanting to see in media for a long time now. You can’t just wipe the slate clean when you’ve done THAT much evil. But I’m extremely curious what Anakin and Barriss will accomplish, and how the meditations will go…
6/26 c13 Katla1
Do you ever just tear up because a story is so amazing?
I dont know why I never saw these later chapters. My email must have not gotten the notifications. But I’m glad to be back reading this fic.
Poor Ahsoka. Poor EVERYONE. There is so much grief and fury swirling in the Force. It pains me to read.
Do you ever just tear up because a story is so amazing?
I dont know why I never saw these later chapters. My email must have not gotten the notifications. But I’m glad to be back reading this fic.
Poor Ahsoka. Poor EVERYONE. There is so much grief and fury swirling in the Force. It pains me to read.
5/15 c15 Angelo47
So the game is afoot! With anakin having the advantage over palpatine, looking forward to your future chapters.
So the game is afoot! With anakin having the advantage over palpatine, looking forward to your future chapters.
5/10 c15 mark.lyons.3682
How can the chancellor’s aide announce Annikan before opening the door to the chamber?
I have a problem reading this story: I keep picturing Vader in his padded, black, caped, sith uniform, masked, helmeted with respirator hissing rhythmically. You keep describing the youthful form of Annikin’s body, but my mind keeps replacing that correction with the terrible persona Sidius created for Annakin.
I love this, darling. Keep-up the good work! Love, Dad.
How can the chancellor’s aide announce Annikan before opening the door to the chamber?
I have a problem reading this story: I keep picturing Vader in his padded, black, caped, sith uniform, masked, helmeted with respirator hissing rhythmically. You keep describing the youthful form of Annikin’s body, but my mind keeps replacing that correction with the terrible persona Sidius created for Annakin.
I love this, darling. Keep-up the good work! Love, Dad.
5/8 c15 Guest
Amazing can’t wait for the next chapter
Amazing can’t wait for the next chapter