for A Second Chance7/8/2023 c13 
4SnowflakesandMozart
Ooh, good chapter! I can tell you're really enjoying exploring the ways different characters experience the Force themselves or appear to others through it. (Such as Bant smelling of flowers.) It's such a nice detail in your worldbuilding. But poor Ahsoka! At least Anakin has been keeping the training bond with Obi-Wan open (at least until he met with Barriss). Ahsoka is feeling so abandoned and now she's afraid of what the Dark Side has done to Anakin. I feel so much pity for her. Here's hoping Vaderkin will cooperate with the joint meditations and these bonds can begin to heal.
That's great that your dad is such a staunch supporter. I saw his reviews as I was trying to figure out where I had left off in this story. And thought about mentioning how sweet it is that he is so encouraging to you, but decided it might be weird. But since the chapter is dedicated to him, I'm going to say I think it's awesome that your father reads and reviews and is clearly so supportive!
4SnowflakesandMozartOoh, good chapter! I can tell you're really enjoying exploring the ways different characters experience the Force themselves or appear to others through it. (Such as Bant smelling of flowers.) It's such a nice detail in your worldbuilding. But poor Ahsoka! At least Anakin has been keeping the training bond with Obi-Wan open (at least until he met with Barriss). Ahsoka is feeling so abandoned and now she's afraid of what the Dark Side has done to Anakin. I feel so much pity for her. Here's hoping Vaderkin will cooperate with the joint meditations and these bonds can begin to heal.
That's great that your dad is such a staunch supporter. I saw his reviews as I was trying to figure out where I had left off in this story. And thought about mentioning how sweet it is that he is so encouraging to you, but decided it might be weird. But since the chapter is dedicated to him, I'm going to say I think it's awesome that your father reads and reviews and is clearly so supportive!
7/8/2023 c12 SnowflakesandMozart
Ah, I must have been reading too fast in the last chapter and missed that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka left the meditation room. That makes more sense. I kept wondering why they hadn't even said anything when Vader lifted Barriss with the Force. Anyway, on to *this* chapter:
This is heavy, but in such a good way. Your Obi-Wan POV feels different from Anakin/Vader's, which is great. He's thoughtful and deliberate, even though he's so overwhelmed by both his own emotions and Anakin's. I love how he keeps stomping down on his own reckless impulses, knowing his efforts to help won't actually improve matters but not able to stop feeling the impulse to reach out. It's so true to his character.
Master Che is delightful, although I think her prescription of joint meditation is not likely to work very well until Vader decides to cooperate. Which doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon. And Obi-
Wan is probably right about not telling the Council about the Dark Side, and yet I can't help thinking that Vader isn't going to be able to heal until he can learn to work with others. In particular, he seems to really need to take his *problems* to other people. He still seems to think he needs to solve everything by himself, so I hope he figures out that he needs other people before he tries to go after Palpatine.
Great chapter! I really enjoyed it.
Ah, I must have been reading too fast in the last chapter and missed that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka left the meditation room. That makes more sense. I kept wondering why they hadn't even said anything when Vader lifted Barriss with the Force. Anyway, on to *this* chapter:
This is heavy, but in such a good way. Your Obi-Wan POV feels different from Anakin/Vader's, which is great. He's thoughtful and deliberate, even though he's so overwhelmed by both his own emotions and Anakin's. I love how he keeps stomping down on his own reckless impulses, knowing his efforts to help won't actually improve matters but not able to stop feeling the impulse to reach out. It's so true to his character.
Master Che is delightful, although I think her prescription of joint meditation is not likely to work very well until Vader decides to cooperate. Which doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon. And Obi-
Wan is probably right about not telling the Council about the Dark Side, and yet I can't help thinking that Vader isn't going to be able to heal until he can learn to work with others. In particular, he seems to really need to take his *problems* to other people. He still seems to think he needs to solve everything by himself, so I hope he figures out that he needs other people before he tries to go after Palpatine.
Great chapter! I really enjoyed it.
7/8/2023 c11 SnowflakesandMozart
That was intense! My heartrate is elevated and I even held my breath at moments, particularly when Vader lifted Barriss in the air and told her some truths she wasn't prepared for.
Backing up, his struggle to walk added some dramatic tension early on. And I can't wait to see how his accidental revelation about his name affects events with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. I love how much they want to help him. Come on, Anakin! You'll get better faster if you let people *help* you.
(Did the shield he put up somehow prevent Obi-Wan and Ahsoka from hearing what he said, or has he just created a new set of problems for himself? I'm off to the next chapter to find out.)
That was intense! My heartrate is elevated and I even held my breath at moments, particularly when Vader lifted Barriss in the air and told her some truths she wasn't prepared for.
Backing up, his struggle to walk added some dramatic tension early on. And I can't wait to see how his accidental revelation about his name affects events with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. I love how much they want to help him. Come on, Anakin! You'll get better faster if you let people *help* you.
(Did the shield he put up somehow prevent Obi-Wan and Ahsoka from hearing what he said, or has he just created a new set of problems for himself? I'm off to the next chapter to find out.)
7/8/2023 c10 SnowflakesandMozart
So apparently I haven't reviewed since December of 2021? I had no idea it had been so long. And apparently I'm four chapters behind! Well. I'm sorry the delay has been so long, but that means I get to read a nice chunk this afternoon.
It's so nice to see the Jedi Council. They're confused and perturbed, naturally, but I like that they are earnest and sincere. (I get so tired of Jedi bashing in some corners of the fandom.) Their befuddlement at Anakin requesting time to meditate and recover was perfect. And Obi-Wan when stepped up to advocate for him, even though he's even more confused and concerned than the council. Yay!
I really liked the phrase "tension trailing behind him" as Obi-Wan left the chamber. Not only alliterative, but also very apt for the situation.
P.S. I laughed at your notes on the Council. It seems like fanfic writing really is about 87% trawling through Wookieepedia.
So apparently I haven't reviewed since December of 2021? I had no idea it had been so long. And apparently I'm four chapters behind! Well. I'm sorry the delay has been so long, but that means I get to read a nice chunk this afternoon.
It's so nice to see the Jedi Council. They're confused and perturbed, naturally, but I like that they are earnest and sincere. (I get so tired of Jedi bashing in some corners of the fandom.) Their befuddlement at Anakin requesting time to meditate and recover was perfect. And Obi-Wan when stepped up to advocate for him, even though he's even more confused and concerned than the council. Yay!
I really liked the phrase "tension trailing behind him" as Obi-Wan left the chamber. Not only alliterative, but also very apt for the situation.
P.S. I laughed at your notes on the Council. It seems like fanfic writing really is about 87% trawling through Wookieepedia.
5/14/2023 c13 mark.lyons.3682
“Try and pinpoint the root” should be “try TO pinpoint”
“Try and” do something is a very common verbal combination of “I will try” and “I will do” that we accidentally replace “try to” with. The mistake becomes clear when we write it down.
“Does she mean ‘stop being lazy,’ and ‘pinpoint the root?’”
No, she doesn’t.
Great job, Sweetie!
Each chapter is a thrilling step toward forward, no matter the chapter length!
Love, Dad
ps. thanks for the dedication!
“Try and pinpoint the root” should be “try TO pinpoint”
“Try and” do something is a very common verbal combination of “I will try” and “I will do” that we accidentally replace “try to” with. The mistake becomes clear when we write it down.
“Does she mean ‘stop being lazy,’ and ‘pinpoint the root?’”
No, she doesn’t.
Great job, Sweetie!
Each chapter is a thrilling step toward forward, no matter the chapter length!
Love, Dad
ps. thanks for the dedication!
5/14/2023 c12 mark.lyons.3682
“See what’s hurting him emotionally, and try to fix it” this might be poor advice. Can we fix other’s emotional pain?
“See what’s hurting him emotionally, and try to fix it” this might be poor advice. Can we fix other’s emotional pain?
5/4/2023 c13 Scarease
Blame it one the Constant war ,fight with Ventress and Dooku ,plus maybe secret Sith Master seeking to isolate Anakin .That my best argument for what cause it .
Blame it one the Constant war ,fight with Ventress and Dooku ,plus maybe secret Sith Master seeking to isolate Anakin .That my best argument for what cause it .
10/29/2022 c1 seyhanna00
PLEASE keep writing! This is a fantastic fanfiction, and I don’t think I could handle another unfinished story.
PLEASE keep writing! This is a fantastic fanfiction, and I don’t think I could handle another unfinished story.
9/30/2022 c12 RandomGuest
I enjoyed, this is so good! A unique and special take on the Vadar goes back in time.
I enjoyed, this is so good! A unique and special take on the Vadar goes back in time.