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7/19 c4 39OwlsCantRead
Not to rag on Cerusa, but I personally feel as though the way she handled the situation would up sealing Petrie's fate despite her best intentions. By letting her emotions take hold of her and suppressing the knowledge of Petrie's broken speech through her children, kids being kids, she effectively made it so that they will continue to do so, especially after they rebel out of frustration of being punished, which is shown by Skybeak and Pearlwing's turning hostile and blaming Petrie after being indirectly implicated for their older siblings' demeanor.

I also personally think that when Petrie wasn't reciprocating her speech lessons, she should not have told him to remain mute in a futile effort to mitigate his shame, as it shows non-verbally that she personally doesn't believe Petrie would recover from such an impediment. This really doesn't bode well for Petrie, and by the end of the chapter I think Cerusa herself knows the odds are stacked against her family as she takes a flight to clear her mind.

The final part about Cerusa swearing that she would discipline her children to curb their behavior can also lead to simmering anger from the middle siblings as they feel their younger brother is being protected, starting a cascading loop of reinforced resentment. In other words, I think her getting overly protective of Petrie to try and shield him is ironically going to catalyze her son's descent into despair. We already saw what his siblings did to him when they were three, but as this carries on, how bad will it get, I wonder?
7/18 c4 20The Rhombus
Poor Petrie. Though a year has gone by since the fateful events of the previous chapter, he is still having a rough time of his childhood. Now his lack of speech has given way to his idiocentric speech pattern, which, unfortunately, has given his siblings something new to use as a justification for seeing Petrie as "the other" in their little community. The antics of Donnie and Terra was especially egregious, especially for flyers who are so young.

Though I must admit that some of these antics make me wonder about flyer parenting, as behavior such as this should have been terminated by more effective and supervised parenting. This, combined with Cerusa's questionable word choices towards her son earlier in the chapter, does seem a bit out of character from the mother we see in canon. Though this could be explained in part due to her being in a difficult place with the loss of her mate. In any event, it creates a difficult dynamic for Petrie during his developmental years and sheds light on several of his insecurities.

Pterano does impress me in this chapter as he has really stepped up (flew up?) to the plate after the loss of Petrie's father. Though this does make his inevitable fall from grace later on all the more tragic. I am very interested to see how you depict that and the emergency flight of the rest of Petrie's family in the coming chapter. I sense that Petrie is about to have a rather rough time...
7/15 c4 26Keijo6
It's easy to see how the developments in this chapter tie into Petrie’s character development. The origins of his speech and bullying by his siblings were shown here very effectively and as usual, the emotions were portrayed very well. Donnie and Terra’s deed was particularly heinous even if his other brothers and sisters certainly don’t help his situation. Even then, I can’t help but feel that Cerusa is a very ineffective parent if she hasn’t managed to pacify the duo during all of these years. After all, Donnie and Terra haven’t seemed to become any less sickening which of course hurts Petrie even more.

The last part of this chapter, while indeed explaining some of Petrie’s behavior, was a bit weaker imo. We went through it before but I must say it feels overly dramatical. Autism causes some unusual characteristics, sure, but Cerusa and Pterano’s words make it seem like we’re speaking of Down’s syndrome or something. That being said, it’s nice to see Pterano acting like a proper uncle even if we all know that won’t last. It’ll be intriguing to see how you think his fall from grace happened. The base is set for interesting future events and the foundations of Petrie’s personality are now set.
7/15 c4 8Anagnos
Happy moments truly are few and far between for not only Petrie in this chapter, but for the entire family. Now that his disability has been revealed to the rest, it will make his life even more difficult. Petrie's most recent accidents have not raised his prestige in the eyes of his siblings, leading to the most cruel bullying possible. For some, his speech pattern has come off as a huge shock, while Donnie and Terra seem determined to break his sanity.

Cerusa's declaration, on the other hand, is something else. Her words to her own son here would be considered far too cruel to say to child and she's definitely in the wrong here. It is true that her mental state is not the best right now, but this kind of behavior from a mother is very questionable. She doesn't seem to understand that her words carry a lot of weight and have consequences we may see in the future.

It was no surprise that Donnie and Terra would ultimately disobey their mother in the most vile way possible. Such an act is not only despicable, but shows they have no idea how much it has hurt Petrie, if they were capable to care about that. Honestly, it felt good to see them get what they deserved and the kind of punishment Cerusa and Pterano used is not unheard of. All of this made me wonder whether Donnie and Terra are the ones suffering from a mental disorder as their behavior would suggest.

I had two things to point out in this chapter, one of them needing a bit of clarification. First one is that having Cerusa say the exact same words about the Great Valley that Littlefoot's mother used wasn't the wisest decision. I would have liked to see how the flyers would explain the valley to their children with their own words, as every species must have different ideas about the place. And the second one is more of a question than a critique. It's about the use of Starday in their vocabulary. I thought it was a fastrunner thing and not generally used by other herds, as I believe Ruby had to even explain it to her friends in the TV series at one point.

Petrie's road of misfortunes has merely begun and there will be many more issues to face in the future. He has already been hurt enough, but more of that will likely follow once things kick off. We have only this to ask: can Petrie find the strength to move on or is he doomed to live out the rest of his days in misery?
6/12 c3 39OwlsCantRead
Rantyl's disappearance clearly still looms over the family, with it most apparent by Cerusa struggling to cope in the aftermath with her hatchlings, and here I find myself relating to Pearlwing and the lie by omission that she has been told. Cerusa is indirectly still struggling to accept it, and with her children left none the wiser she can continue to live that lie she spun for herself.

Anyway, I really like how mute Petrie conveys his feelings through his body language and facial expressions. It really sells his anxiety and jitteryness, and only makes his first words to Cerusa and Pterano after Donnie lambasts him for his silence all the more sweeter. :) Nevertheless, I do feel that the mood has been very uplifting compared to the last chapter, but I'm prepared for another mood swerve soon… :p
5/9 c3 26Keijo6
This certainly was a sweet chapter and one that helps set a more concrete tone for the rest of this story. Petrie took a major step here and the way you presented his first words was very nice. Cerusa’s efforts and her slight pessimism concerning her son were captured really well but for the first time, we got a somewhat uplifting ending to a chapter. Petrie has a long path before himself but from now on it’ll be easier to build him a more distinct personality and start his transformation into the flyer we know.

Cerusa and Petrie’s moment was certainly a good scene and it shed some light to the former’s unconditional love but also to her worries for her son’s future. Their bond felt like a close one but obviously, it is rather one-sided. However, his first words and Pterano’s arrival turned this scene into an even more memorable one as it shows just what kind of family dynamic we’ll see in the chapters to come. It’s nice to give them a moment together to appreciate the finer aspects of life. However, the gift of speech will also open him to more forms of bullying from his siblings.

Overall, this story is taking shape quite effectively and it’s moving forward in a pretty natural way. This chapter opened the way for deeper relationships between Petrie and his family which will be both a blessing and a curse for him. That being said, it’ll be interesting to see which way this fic will take next.
5/9 c3 8Anagnos
For a short chapter this was undeniably one of my favorite ones thus far. While the sense of distress has carried over to the subsequent part, you can clearly see that despite the hardship of raising your children in a dangerous environment without your significant other, Cerusa is doing the best she can for her children in these difficult times. Especially for her youngest child. Even if the growing uncertainty of Petrie’s chances in life seem low, the special mother-son quality time end up being an important factor in shaping up Petrie’s future and even timid Petrie can’t help but crack a smile on the way.

Despite his status as the runt of the litter, he is starting to slowly become the flyer we know by finally having learned to let some of his fear go by speaking the very first words to two people he loves the most and the loving sensation is returned by Cerusa and Pterano. It’s sad to think that Pterano’s promise to always be there for his nephew will have to be broken in the near-future. It doesn’t take a lot to figure out the reason for Petrie’s almost fanatical fixation to be loved and cared for by the two that he’s most attached to, while being on an on-off relationship with his siblings.

It was quite heartwarming and sad to see Cerusa starting to consider Pterano as a substitute father figure for Petrie and the rest. You can see that she’s not entirely content with the idea, but is glad to see that Petrie has someone to look up to. While it is true that no one can truly replace Rantyl in the family, Pterano has more or less taken over the place as the young ones father. It will be interesting to see how the children react to Rantyl’s untimely demise and I expect their reactions to be quite divergent. They did not know their father for long and likely feel more attachment to Pterano as a result.
5/7 c3 20The Rhombus
This was quite the lovely addition to this growing story. In this chapter we get to see that the timidity that Petrie has had from his hatching days is persisting into his second year. Whether due to timidity or due to something else, he has noticeably remained functionally mute even while his sibling have begun to speak. It was quite heartening to see how Mama Flyer and Pterano do their best to raise the partially-orphaned family. Despite her own despair at the loss of her mate and a lingering thought to simply leave her life behind... the children keep her grounded in her duties. Likewise, as her patience with Petrie shows clearly, she is clearly a mother with a heart of gold.

Now that Petrie has begun to speak, no doubt the push for him to learn how to fly will become even more pressing. I do look forward to seeing how Petrie and the family adapts as the time approaches for the cataclysm that left Petrie alone in the first film.
3/24 c2 39OwlsCantRead
I suppose dread is a feeling I felt for this chapter since pretty much from the start I knew that Rantyl would exit the story. Like the others I do feel like he had a hasty end, even though I knew he was doomed by canon since the sailbacks who got him were the antagonistic force in Secret Love, I didn't expect his reason for dying to be a reverse Bron situation. I still feel like he was finished off too quickly, as a single day is not enough to make an impact in the lives of his children in my view... though his absence certainly will.

I do feel sorry for Cerusa throughout this chapter, however. Her worry for Petrie and faux reassurance that her mate will be fine before the devastating news crushes her worldview was very palpable. Now she's in a position where no parent wants to find themselves in, and the conclusion and hanging ending highly hints that things will only get worse. The sense of uncertainty and despair leaves her and her children (especially Petrie) in peril.
3/20 c2 8Anagnos
As much as I would’ve liked to see Rantyl’s storyline continue, it was of paramount importance to seal off this part of the narrative with a quick but expected twist. At the very least, he felt the happiness of parenthood before his imminent fate. While we witnessed Petrie and his mother’s reaction to his demise, I’ll be rather curious to see how the rest will handle it. I suspect that Pterano already knows to some extent as to what happened, but the same can’t be said for the rest of the brood. Even for the brief duration, you still made me get attached to a character that was doomed from the start and it is rather sad to see him go. I wish you would have kept him in the story a while longer, but this was the best we got of the unfortunate flyer.

I couldn’t help but notice the little snippets in the chapter: the diminutive detail that their diet doesn’t solely consist of green food, but also fish. I wonder, did you mean to make this as an excerpt from Rhombus’ short story, Hidden Needs or was it completely random? There were pedantic resemblances between the flyer hatchlings and human offspring among the narrative; both can express their emotion by mere body language, and as a result, you can see them acting quite alike once Rantyl left the nest. I mentioned that I wish you would’ve had Rantyl play a bigger role in the story, but I was slightly left unsatisfied by his ultimate doom. Death by sharpteeth is not exactly a new way to off a character from a story, therefore it left the impression of being a little underwhelming.

But then again, who knows? There may yet be more into it than meets the eye. If so, it could be something to get enthusiastic about. For now, I will remain optimistic for future developments. We’re off to a rather good start. In light of this tragedy, the next chapter will no doubt be rather melancholy, not to mention the characters being in low spirits. :(
3/19 c2 20The Rhombus
Though expected (considering what we know about Petrie's family) the loss of his father at such a young age is a terribly blow, both for mother and son. One small consolation for this sad fate is that he at least got to see his children before his fateful flight. I can only see this tremendous loss having a huge impact on Petrie, as he is already afraid of the unknown world around him. Using Cerusa’s perspective during this gut-wrenching scene was a good idea as it allows us to see the full extent of her grief and her fears for her children. Sadly, it is all up to her at this point. One now wonders if Petrie's fears of the outside world is more relatable for Cerusa, as she will need to be vigilant against all potential threats to her children.
3/19 c1 The Rhombus
Now this truly is a wonderful beginning to the story that holds a lot of possibilities for what is to come. Here we get to see the expectant parents, with the uncle-to-be assisting with watching the precious clutch. Little by little we get to see the hatching of the little ones, and the first true exposure of their personalities. Which leaves off with the protagonist for this story... a flyer literally scared of the world but that is forced to confront it, a perfect beginning for Petrie... and for this story. I look forward to seeing where this goes from here. :)

Btw, should I add this to the Egg prompt? I know that technically you did not write this for the fanfic prompt challenge, but this prologue actually does fit in with the requirements so it can be added to the masterlist if you wish.
3/19 c2 26Keijo6
It is very easy to imagine that this truly is the day that changed so much for Petrie. It’s very sad to see Rantyl leave the scene so very early but at least we saw him get to know his children a bit better before going to the Great Beyond. Seeing him and his mate share their happiness about their children, only for one of them to die soon afterwards is heartbreaking to see indeed, especially considering just how much Petrie would suffer because of his father’s foolish mistake.

And indeed, hearing the news was beyond sickening and I couldn’t help but feel the full array of feelings that flashed through Cerusa’s heart in that moment. And indeed, Petrie’s silent understanding of the situation didn’t make it any easier and that entire sequence was as soul-wrenching as we can expect from you and as such, this chapter succeeded in every part it was supposed to succeed.

We talked about it before but I’d still like to reassert that Rantyl died too quickly in my view. Petrie’s father could have contributed a lot more to the story and I would have loved to see the family being whole a tiny bit longer. Yes, I know your reasons and I trust that you have great plans for this story but I was still left with a bit of an empty feeling in that regard.
3/18 c1 14TimeLordMaster108
Surprised to see me? Yes I'm still alive and am still working on a Swimmer's Revenge. Kinda got sidetracked with writting NCIS fanfics.

This is getting off to a great start. Petrie is certainly the most unlucky character in the series, he's airaphohbic, his mom is the only family member who loves him, his uncle's going to eventually get exiled and be, well Pterano and his dad's dead.

Can't wait to see him meet the rest of the gang, since almost all of them can all fully relate to having tragedy in their lives. Littlefoot lost his mom, Cera will eventually find out her mum died, Ducky gained a friend who then got brutally murdered. (maybe, not sure if this is meant to take place in the same continuity as those other stories) and Spike lost both his parents.

Can't wait to see more.
3/13 c1 39OwlsCantRead
It is certainly an interesting choice to reminiscence and take a look at Petrie's past and hatch scene, because as others have pointed out he distinctly lacks one in the original LBT. From what we know it is not that much of a far stretch to infer that it was a particularly joyous one. It is interesting that the nature of hatchlings make his siblings impartial to Petrie despite his differences at first, until they are molded into their own roughened personalities by age and fate.

It would seem from his hatching that Petrie is intrinsically someone whose nature predisposes him to be timorous. This reminds me most of the birth scene in 101 Dalmatians where the youngest puppy almost does not make it, and gave me similar vibes. It really begs the question, is it purely nature which Petrie to undergo his tumultuous childhood, or is his father right and could he be nurtured into someone braver. Either way this prologue does open up many questions as to how he becomes like this, and I am interested to see this character study and the ensuing events unfold. :)
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