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7/28 c6 Kyu
I like that Jake is kinda proving Marco’s point about how he overthinks things as he literally starts thinking of different ways his proposal to Cassie could have gone but it looks like the smallest bit of healing has started there at the end.

Keep it up, really enjoying this.
submitted:ao3
7/13 c3 Guest
I love this. I’m a huge R/T fan. Like they are totally on the same level as Rachel/Ross, Buffy/Angel, Peeta/Katniss...yep. I’ve always wanted someone to delve deeper into their relationship. Please update ASAP! :)
7/14 c6 68MissScorp
Hi there! Ah the power of hindsight. It can trap you in a deep dark web if you let it. Jake is trapped but can’t admit it, even when Marco calls it out. He thinks he’s being a dutiful brother by visiting his brother’s grave twice a week. He thinks he’s making up for not being there, for not stopping his brother from becoming someone other than who he remembers him as. The truth is that is his guilt forcing him to visit that grave. It’s his guilt making him ask what he could have done to stop Tom from changing as he did, what he could have done to save his life, and blaming himself because he wasn’t there and didn’t realize sooner that things were not as copacetic as he thought them to be.

Marco spying on him would aggravate me but I can understand it. Jake has become stuck. He isn’t living his life. He’s just going through the motions. And it’s worrying Marco and Cassie. Does Jake have a right to feeling betrayed? Yes. Does he have a right to feel like they went behind his back and talked about him? Yes. They did so because they care about him and want to help him through his grief. Marco doesn’t backdown when Jake gets angry about his spying him. He continues to push at Jake to make him admit that he was stuck in a never ending loop of grief. He’s not okay, no matter how much he tries to pretend that he is.

Another great piece!
7/13 c6 7darklover
Great chapter. Glad Marco got to Jake. I'm hoping he start moving on.
7/13 c6 24Boris Yeltsin
I love it.
4/29 c5 7darklover
Poor Jake. I think you did a good job exploring his thoughts on Tom's death. I really liked the line about how he should have been Tom's hero.
4/22 c5 68MissScorp
Hi there! Aw poor Jake :( war is not easy as it is but having losses of comrades or friends is a lot easier than losing a brother. Especially when you’ve won the war and are being touted as a hero. That one death will cast a pall over the celebration, the relief, the feeling of homecoming because it will be the one thing that you will wish that you could have stopped. Jake will forever hold himself accountable for Tom’s death.

It will always linger over him about how Tom might not have died had he made different choices, if he had been there, if he had done something to see his brother was protected; safe. That is all normal functions of grief. Oof, his thinking that his brother died hating him? Well, that’s a bitter pill to swallow. Especially since there’s no way of knowing for sure. Tom is dead and can’t tell him what his final thoughts were. Jake has to live with what they might have been for the rest of his life. And seeing his family all look at him with accusations in their eyes? That doesn’t help him to get beyond this tragedy.

It’s interesting how all the characters seem to have drifted apart after the war was over. Like some people still come together to talk but it seems like they are all going their own directions. As if they can’t process what happened without putting distance between them. Marco turning up as a flea made me chuckle because I didn’t think they could turn into anything they wanted. Flea would make for a great way to gather intel on people... long as you weren’t found out and smushed lol

This was a bittersweet but great chapter! Fantabulous job!
4/21 c5 24Boris Yeltsin
Loved it. Poor Jake, though.
4/9 c4 7darklover
As a writer, I totally understand the need to tinker with your writing and not feeling satisfied. As a reader, I can say that I enjoyed reading this chapter.

I felt the interaction between Tobias and Rachel was nicely done.
4/9 c4 68MissScorp
Hi there! Ah family is never an easy problem to solve. Especially when that family has a combative element to it like Rachel’s has. Not easy to deal with someone who disapproves if you and what you do. Who looks at you with eyes that reflect condemnation. Accusations. Not exactly a warm homecoming to look forward too. Kinda can understand why she’d balk at first about going home. Who’d want to go home knowing they face that? Her deciding to go after she considers the situation that Tobias faces with his family shows how she can see the opposite side of the fence and recognize that the grass is not always greener. She could be in a situation like him where his father was murdered right before him and his mother has no memory of him. He’s essentially alone in the world and spends his life as a hawk. She can go home and has Jordan and Sara, at least, who will be happy to see her.

The devastation at their former high school really puts something like war into vivid perspective. It’s a huge crater. One filled with the ashes of those who likely didn’t survive the battle. No bones for people to bury. Just ashes that will blow away in the wind. They paid a heavy price for this victory. The scars from it likely will never heal. A monument is a nice touch and a reminder of the fallen but it’s also a lasting testament for why they are the fallen.

Another good chapter!
4/8 c4 24Boris Yeltsin
Fine work. More of other characters when you can find ways to write them.
4/1 c3 68MissScorp
Hi there! Wow, Tobias has a really tragic story, doesn’t be? I mean this guy is a walking trauma. As if war isn’t bad enough and doesn’t cause enough scarring on its own, he’s see his father die. Watching your father crushed and killed? Being helpless to stop it? Knowing that you could do nothing to stop it from happening? That is some serious trauma right there. That kinda stuff is gonna leave behind a serious mark. A wound that won’t ever heal.

That his nightmares shift from the war to a small white room with a red button is interesting. It leaves the feeling that the white room is actually more traumatizing than what he witnessed during the war. The fact that every time the “button pulses“, “he screams” indicates the torture he’s being put through by Taylor. The fact that he calls him a “vile little bird” and accuses him of having sacrificed his body makes me assume this is punishment for his having done something that relates to his inability to morph back from the hawk.

The fact he’s stuck in his hawk form doesn’t help his mentality, either. He can’t morph back into his human form. Seemingly, it’s gone. Lost. All he can do now is sleep on a branch on the outside of his mother, Loren’s house, and watch Rachel sleep. He can’t go inside and join her. He can’t even sit at the table and have coffee with Loren. He is a hawk and must live his life as one. It’s a sad fact and it shows how empty and lonesome his life is.

Beautiful piece!
3/31 c2 MissScorp
Hi there! Rachel is definitely a complicated character. It seems like she’s got a lot of built up emotions inside her. Given that she has been in combat situations and was used as a weapon by her cousin, Jake. What exactly her grudge against Loren is, I don’t know. She doesn’t seem to know since she admits that they aren’t buddies but not foes. I’m guessing that Loren doesn’t like her dating her son or doesn’t like what Rachel is. Both seem equally true. Either way it’s evident that Rachel isn’t happy with Loren being there. She’s snarky and borderline antagonistic despite Loren doing nothing more than offering coffee and commenting that she was out late the night before. Not exactly the way to build a relationship with your boyfriends mother.

Her transformation from human into eagle was brilliantly done. It made me feel as if I was actually going through the change with her. Feeling my bones shift, my eyes sharpen, my nose and jaw protrude into a beak. The descriptions weren’t overdone or written for dramatic effect. The biggest thing I dislike about werewolf movies is how they go into great detail about the transformation. It’s often gross and just ruins the immersion effect of the story. This doesn’t do that. It lays out her thoughts and feelings as she changes, the itchy feeling of the feathers protruding from her skin and all of it unsettling until she takes flight.

Another brilliant chapter!
3/27 c3 7darklover
I'm glad to see another chapter for this story.

You misspelled Elfangor as Elfanger at the beginning of the chapter.

Tobias was my fave Animorph so I'm glad to read his POV. Looking forward to reading more. It is a shame he didn't get more books.
3/27 c2 stellarstylus
Well, right off the bat, this version of Tobias doesn’t have the same reasons to disappear into the wild forever now. So there’s that. How will that change things now...?
Good to see more of Loren. One of the many criticisms/complaints I have with the last book is how we never saw what happened to the Animorphs’ families (parents, siblings, cousins, etc.). Anyone else think it felt kind of rushed?
Great job as usual, Author!
(Oh, I almost forgot to add: Also a very nice touch with mentioning how they were scarred of her for her love of violence while at the same time relying upon just that. I'd been contemplating that too lately...)
submitted: ao3
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