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2/1 c1 Nixramor
Are you really so lazy to simply 'default, replace here' rather then an original name or a ten second, a minute at most search on Wookieepedia? I know that its unimportant, since there's no build up; but in my personal experience bracketing leads to breaking the Suspension of Disbelief unless it's a end/beginning note. Suspension of Disbelief is vitally important in writing. I think you may have posted this too early. Google Docs is very helpful with grammar structure, or indeed Grammarly.
Carmo, the name of the church on top of it. Also paragraphing.

{"Shay don't be stupid.* A* planets* destruction cannot be triggered by a single man.}
Expect that can indeed happen, at least if you take Legends as cannon. The Force is a crazy thing.

{Please Archilles the artifacts cannot be controlled* by the man (by humanity?), don't let the death of your family blind you...}
You did not clarify what exactly their objecting too... oh well.

{How dare you judge me Hope Jenson!*}~Statement.
Not very Jedi like is he?

{"You still defend him,* even after he slapped you" Shay said accusingly*
"You misunderstand what I was going to say*. But Shay you are right; Achilles must be stopped."}
Not too bad. The character dynamics/relationships are there. Though I don't know their characterizations enough to say either way.

{"Hope, Shay what are you two doing.* Give back the manuscript. I am sure Achilles will.. Liam trying to reason* with them.
"Give it back now or I will take it from your body, Shay"}
Emotional whiplash...

{They place their hands over the lever*.}

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