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for Bringing the Dawn

5/8 c53 25Arantxa2020
Robb Stark is a moron. He already made a promise he couldn't guarantee would be met. Now after his King left, he is really going to turn on his mother and continue to do what he wasn't ordered to? Also, Jaime is the only hostage they have keeping the Westerlands in line. This isn't going to end well, I just know it.
5/6 c53 Bautista
Yet another story where Robb needs to be dumbed down so we can all hail almighty Saint Jon.
And as always Catelyn is right and nobody listens to her.
5/6 c6 Ltbutterfly287
I’m going to be real here before you make movies on what weapons people would you should actual watch a few videos on weapons. Unless you have a stature like the mountain dual weilding long swords is simply impossible. A long sword is a sword made solely for using both your hands, a bastard sword is a slightly smaller long sword which can be used single handed but to properly use it has to be two handed. Dual wielding arming sword or short swords is what people did. It’s only assumed that Arthur dayne dual wielded because of the show and even if he did the swords he used wouldn’t have been so large.
5/6 c4 Ltbutterfly287
What bullshit are you spouting, the one famous kings guard who wielded two blades was Arthur Dayne. Just be honest and acknowledge your having him dual wield cause you think it looks cool.
5/2 c53 2daspeedforce
Let's hope Jon goes full Mad King on the North. Lord's being burned for blatant and bold treason. There's treason all around. Oath breaking everywhere. Robb and Karstark need to be sent to the Wall at least or exiled. Catelyn Tully a hostage to keep the Riverlands in line. It's the only way to fix the issue and Jon keep his strength.
5/2 c53 SvenTheDecoy
ugh, Robb you fking idiot.
5/1 c52 25Arantxa2020
This is going to get very awkward when the Targaryen siblings meet each other. I wonder how Jon is going to feel?
4/21 c52 anja.quickert.9
4/17 c52 3Foxy-Floof
Well that happened. I'm not sure I like what's happened with Robb and Jon tho...
4/14 c5 2mrneb
I'm new to this story so maybe you've already had this criticism, but too much of your character dialogue sounds too "American-modern". The dialogue needs to be more in line with a fantasy Middle Ages setting and any modern sayings or slang should really be avoided. For instance, instead of Ned being afraid of "outing" Jon, he needs to be afraid of Jon's "heritage being revealed".

Also, I recommend NEVER using the word "okay/ok" in any fantasy setting. This is my biggest pet peeve of too many fan fiction authors. "Okay" is an American expression that supposedly originated in the 1840s. People in a fantasy medieval setting would NOT be saying "okay".

Overall, I'm enjoying your story. Please keep up the good work.

Oh, and I love dragons! I'm glad you have dragons in this story.
4/10 c51 2daspeedforce
I would've taken Robb's hand for that.
3/14 c14 MrMcNasty
Yeah... I don't know about Ashara deciding that killing herself would be the best option... If she was savvy enough to get a letter to Ned in the middle of a rebellion, she would know that pretending Jon was hers instead of some random wetnurse's would have been an infinitely better idea.

I don't know, it just kinda seems like you're going to an exorbitant length to ensure that Ashara wouldn't appear in later chapters.
3/7 c50 3Foxy-Floof
Welp, barring poison in their meals, the North and King Targaryen-Stark is now firmly in the winner's circle.
3/5 c50 nerdwarf
Loved the chapter.
2/20 c49 4aegon Targaryen17
is this real aegon or fageon?
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