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for Rikudou: The One Above All

3/6/2023 c38 Guest
Too bad this looks kinda dead

Then again it’s 2023 and you said you might finish it at 24

Hope you do

This is an awesome fic

Would be great if Madara has a love interest tho

Maybe make an OC?

Or bring a Naruto character Resembling Hinata from shiketsu with maybe?

mutant cyborg quirk (since there are heteromorphs like a fuckin washing machine and a whatever bondo and manga are) with the powers with a mix of the Hyuga byakugan and and Wrath of asura Bionic cyborg body

She would kinda work like blue beetle DC and Genos from OPM

She’d be able to still give birth but she advanced her quirk enough that her form is super fluid lol

It’s just kinda boring if Madara with all his clones and chakra can’t have fun

Maybe he could partner up with stealth with great mobility heroes like edgeshot to help him balance out his time

so he won’t be like Itachi and be blind and dying of the goku heart sickness that’s been going around bad ass characters lol

It would be great if Madara could ask for help from David shield to clone his and Izuku’s body for Incase he loses some of his organs like all night with some emphasis on the eyes since he be needing a transplant soon

Kinda weird how he’s loosing vision tho

when there shouldn’t be any villains that warrant a Mangekyō Sharingan activation

Kakashi got his Sharingan since he was like around 15

And his vision has been fine up to his 30s

He wouldn’t be copy ninja Kakashi if he wasn’t abusing the Sharingan through out his long ass career

I get that Madara has probably been practicing so he won’t mess up when he uses it for real but shouldn’t the deterioration go no further when he’s just using the standard matured Sharingan?

Itachi was probably using it a LOT since he’s a bounty hunter criminal in an organization full of unstable missing nin

But Our Madara should be faaaaar away from that sort of deterioration of eye sight
3/3/2023 c36 Zhelander
Can the author think about what he is writing instead of making plots out of freaking nowhere with just a bunch of sudden flashbacks trying to excuse why it's possible?
3/3/2023 c29 Zhelander
I thought that this was an enjoyable trashy fic but it's just trash. To make things short. For all the OPness that the MC has he ends up as just another cheerleader for the cheat protagonist Izuku Midoriya.
3/3/2023 c8 Zhelander
This fic is trash xD Somewhat enjoyable but trash nonetheless hahaha. Typical OP MC with naruto powers. OP chakra capacity, knows every ninja technique and is a master of them, a genius with more than 5 doctorates, skipped every type of school because of how smart he is, sharinga, EMS, rinnegan, etc.

Of course, like all the "genius" MC, the protagonist is only as smart as the author is capable of showing in a fic. Seeing as this is an OP fix fic...well... even though the MC is a genius he sure as heck doesn't act like one xD
3/1/2023 c3 8Lightning Ash
Unsurprisingly, I'm considerably bored already. I have no idea why this has garnered so many favourites, follows and reviews. At 3k faves and follows, I would expect at least a semi-competent and structured story with a good flow, but you haven't even got that down. This honestly reads like someone's science report and essay. You're dumping large amounts of info on us, haphazardly jumping from one poorly structured scene to another.

There's no flow or characterization. These "interactions" feel lifeless, stilted and plain unnatural. Really, Izuku being such a bitch he begs his older brother to stop beating up the bad kids that are bullying him? Your OC getting so triggered by their mother telling Izuku he can't be a hero he awakens the Sharingan? C'mon now.

The story is in dire need of an overhaul, I can't lie. As it stands now, it's badly rushed and horribly structured. Want my advice? Study how other authors craft their scenes and develop their stories. Firstly, forget about info-dumping (all that can come later as you're developing the story). The first thing to do when writing a story is to describe the setting. Maybe something like "Madara wakes up in his room."

Describe what his room looks like and/or what the weather is like, whether it's raining or sunny outside. Doing this paints a picture your audience can envision while they're reading. Secondly, have your character interact with his family. It's how you develop his and their personalities.

Try and limit the number of time skips. Use too many within such a short time span and you risk the pacing becoming disjointed like what's happening here.

Work on your Grammar. I know English is a risky language but witch and which don't mean the same thing. You also used notoriety wrongly, too. Notoriety means famous for being bad. The word you were looking for is prestige.

I would cut back on the whole "genius" thing. I get that you want to live vicariously through your stories, and that's cool, I have nothing against that, but thing is, I find more often than not authors that go the whole genius route with their main character end up exposing their own mediocre IQ when they can't accurately depict the main character's intelligence without being disingenuous.

Lastly, don't make him Izuku's brother. OCs being the main character's sibling is such an overused and frankly predictable troupe. It adds nothing to the story except to draw unneeded parallels between them. Madara having his own family separate from Izuku would be far more interesting. I'm not saying they can't be friends, they totally can be, but giving Madara his own family would free him from the parallels and ensure that he's his own character with his own purpose in the narrative. Not just a foil to Izuku.
2/22/2023 c1 Fuck you
you
2/9/2023 c35 malikbarfield70
okay so I'm a little confused is a izuku's rejection of hatred a method of making Madara's eyes eternal?
1/29/2023 c38 Harlequin-TheDollmaker
I wonder what happens next? :)
1/25/2023 c7 LennyFaceSupplier
very interesting way of having a super intelligent mc. instead of having to cagch up to his intellect, you usually only mention it, or have him brag about it. smort.
1/23/2023 c25 Gear master
And
1/20/2023 c9 9sd74
So a miniature recreation of the war arc
1/8/2023 c33 Efthee
god damn the tears! get back in there!
1/5/2023 c38 WarElf
Hey, you're doing an amazing job at making this fic and I can't wait for the next chapter keep doing what you're doing
1/3/2023 c8 4Pen NameG
"I spat out a gargantuan amount of water alongside that witch I had taken from the atmosphere"

it's fuckin "which" man. but really the English is kinda getting worse so I'ma dip. you write this much in English and it gets worse instead of better?
1/3/2023 c7 Pen NameG
so. much. power fantasy.

also it's which not witch.
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