for A Better King4/28/2021 c1 Amaure
Kudos to the writer of this book. You did an amazing job. Why don't you try to publish your book in NovelStar? A lot of readers will love your work, judging from the book I just read.
Kudos to the writer of this book. You did an amazing job. Why don't you try to publish your book in NovelStar? A lot of readers will love your work, judging from the book I just read.
2/11/2021 c5 
122mille libri
Well, that was unexpected! Lovely scene, too - you can feel the weather and the rolling of the ship.
122mille libriWell, that was unexpected! Lovely scene, too - you can feel the weather and the rolling of the ship.
2/2/2021 c3 mille libri
The plot thickens! I like that I legitimately can't tell if Hammabrik is for real or if he's been sent there to tell the story and draw the queen away.
The plot thickens! I like that I legitimately can't tell if Hammabrik is for real or if he's been sent there to tell the story and draw the queen away.
1/16/2021 c2 mille libri
That's a really delicate consideration, whether Narnian rule is best for the Lone Islands after all, and a nice, balanced discussion of the nuances.
That's a really delicate consideration, whether Narnian rule is best for the Lone Islands after all, and a nice, balanced discussion of the nuances.
1/16/2021 c1 mille libri
This is a lovely opener. You have the style of Narnia down beautifully, and Surewing is a very fitting denizen of that land.
This is a lovely opener. You have the style of Narnia down beautifully, and Surewing is a very fitting denizen of that land.
11/12/2020 c3 BrokenKestrel
Oh, I LOVE having a ship named Lady Polly. Wonderful thought.
I really liked the thought about taking comfort from being a part of Aslan's story; trusting the storyteller, even in the vastness of the story. Well put.
I liked the Dwarf, and I liked the more having yet another traitor redeemed, and his past woven into the story for the better. I'm enjoying this!
Oh, I LOVE having a ship named Lady Polly. Wonderful thought.
I really liked the thought about taking comfort from being a part of Aslan's story; trusting the storyteller, even in the vastness of the story. Well put.
I liked the Dwarf, and I liked the more having yet another traitor redeemed, and his past woven into the story for the better. I'm enjoying this!
11/12/2020 c2 BrokenKestrel
I am curious, where did you come up with the idea for the name Burgéd?
“Lord Bern believes they are only a few, but a loud few”—THAT is a tragic summary of many places, and one of the sad downsides of the glorious freedom of speech.
And your villain is rather good at intrigue.
I am curious, where did you come up with the idea for the name Burgéd?
“Lord Bern believes they are only a few, but a loud few”—THAT is a tragic summary of many places, and one of the sad downsides of the glorious freedom of speech.
And your villain is rather good at intrigue.
11/12/2020 c1 BrokenKestrel
I really like the idea of a Raven as a villain—throughout all mythology they’ve been omens of ill or of luck, messengers and companions, and I like the idea of one having a bigger role than that which had been normal.
I really like the idea of a Raven as a villain—throughout all mythology they’ve been omens of ill or of luck, messengers and companions, and I like the idea of one having a bigger role than that which had been normal.
9/26/2020 c15 27Drumboy100
*Spoilers Alert!* If you're checking the reviews page just to see if you should read this story, then yes, read this story! I'm going to organize my thoughts according to character, as I'm a very character-driven person (therefore, weird that Nancy Drew is my main fandom).
Surewing really worked for me as the villain. He wasn't after money or destruction or revenge, only power and respect (which then made him jealous and prideful); therefore, readers can relate to him and take warning! A tragic villain, because there are a million legitimate ways he could have gotten power and respect in the new Narnia. I wonder if the repeated references to his appearance weren't really about his age, just the fact that he didn't have the mental flexibility to change with the times. Insightful, that since he is an "opportunistic charlatan," he fears that Aslan is as well. I hope he learned his lesson in exile. There's a powerful theme of anti-racism in here: all Telmarines aren't alike! And neither are all Black Dwarves. Surewing can't recognize freedom when he sees it, so calls Caspian just another exploitative king. Reminds me of the Israelites coming out of Egypt.
Lilliandil is a queen literally and behaviorally. SUCH a likable female lead. And with a name, too! (Forgive me for throwing shade at the venerable Mr. Lewis...I don't frequently do that...but come on, she should have had a name all along). That scene of walking through Cair Paravel eyes closed showed how light-hearted and joyful and trusting her relationship with her husband is. LOVE how she listened to Makau about the rumors instead of taking offense, starting a rivalry, etc,; the story wouldn't have had a happy ending otherwise. She is stronger even than Caspian: she heard news of his death, then she's facing a mutiny without him, plus a dragon, plus all of Narnia burning down...I know I'd be in bed with the covers over my head, but she forces herself to immediately focus on what is best for the realm. I'm a little jealous that Aslan (and the Holy Spirit...it's the breath that invigorated him) appeared to Caspian instead of her. And her powerful final speech in the last chapter! Spot-on regarding human nature. Plus Trufflehunter's line: "I can't believe so many could have forgotten everything so quickly." That's what humans (and Talking Beasts) do!
Caspian's restoration of Cair Paravel and the four thrones certainly hones in on the theme (and the title) right away. What makes him a better king than his predecessors (and fortunately the bar is low) is that even at despair and death, his only thought is "Let Narnia be all right." What happened to the sailor who tried to murder him? He and his wife are fearful, but still do their duties. And they don't try to be the only heroes, they are always open to counsel and help (and they owe quite a thank-you note and fruit basket to the river gods). What a romantic reunion! "He kissed her in front of everyone," not bad for a sort-of-arranged marriage!
Final thoughts: I like the periodic use of the second person to describe things, just like Mr. Lewis did. Thank you for keeping the battle scenes offscreen to reduce descriptions of violence, blood etc. I appreciated Acorn and Ferdy's redemption; in Narnia (and Drew/Hardyland too, come to think of it) the bad guys treat their own followers like expendable garbage, whereas the good guys are forever searching for reasons to pardon/forgive their enemies. Since you didn't name the dragon, I will assume he is Smaug!
A thoroughly enjoyable Saturday afternoon! Thank you!
27Drumboy100*Spoilers Alert!* If you're checking the reviews page just to see if you should read this story, then yes, read this story! I'm going to organize my thoughts according to character, as I'm a very character-driven person (therefore, weird that Nancy Drew is my main fandom).
Surewing really worked for me as the villain. He wasn't after money or destruction or revenge, only power and respect (which then made him jealous and prideful); therefore, readers can relate to him and take warning! A tragic villain, because there are a million legitimate ways he could have gotten power and respect in the new Narnia. I wonder if the repeated references to his appearance weren't really about his age, just the fact that he didn't have the mental flexibility to change with the times. Insightful, that since he is an "opportunistic charlatan," he fears that Aslan is as well. I hope he learned his lesson in exile. There's a powerful theme of anti-racism in here: all Telmarines aren't alike! And neither are all Black Dwarves. Surewing can't recognize freedom when he sees it, so calls Caspian just another exploitative king. Reminds me of the Israelites coming out of Egypt.
Lilliandil is a queen literally and behaviorally. SUCH a likable female lead. And with a name, too! (Forgive me for throwing shade at the venerable Mr. Lewis...I don't frequently do that...but come on, she should have had a name all along). That scene of walking through Cair Paravel eyes closed showed how light-hearted and joyful and trusting her relationship with her husband is. LOVE how she listened to Makau about the rumors instead of taking offense, starting a rivalry, etc,; the story wouldn't have had a happy ending otherwise. She is stronger even than Caspian: she heard news of his death, then she's facing a mutiny without him, plus a dragon, plus all of Narnia burning down...I know I'd be in bed with the covers over my head, but she forces herself to immediately focus on what is best for the realm. I'm a little jealous that Aslan (and the Holy Spirit...it's the breath that invigorated him) appeared to Caspian instead of her. And her powerful final speech in the last chapter! Spot-on regarding human nature. Plus Trufflehunter's line: "I can't believe so many could have forgotten everything so quickly." That's what humans (and Talking Beasts) do!
Caspian's restoration of Cair Paravel and the four thrones certainly hones in on the theme (and the title) right away. What makes him a better king than his predecessors (and fortunately the bar is low) is that even at despair and death, his only thought is "Let Narnia be all right." What happened to the sailor who tried to murder him? He and his wife are fearful, but still do their duties. And they don't try to be the only heroes, they are always open to counsel and help (and they owe quite a thank-you note and fruit basket to the river gods). What a romantic reunion! "He kissed her in front of everyone," not bad for a sort-of-arranged marriage!
Final thoughts: I like the periodic use of the second person to describe things, just like Mr. Lewis did. Thank you for keeping the battle scenes offscreen to reduce descriptions of violence, blood etc. I appreciated Acorn and Ferdy's redemption; in Narnia (and Drew/Hardyland too, come to think of it) the bad guys treat their own followers like expendable garbage, whereas the good guys are forever searching for reasons to pardon/forgive their enemies. Since you didn't name the dragon, I will assume he is Smaug!
A thoroughly enjoyable Saturday afternoon! Thank you!
6/27/2020 c15 5PadrePedro
Thanks! As for me I am very blessed having enjoyed your great story! Good luck writing more in the future, regardless of which the subject will be! And be forever blessed! Peter
5PadrePedroThanks! As for me I am very blessed having enjoyed your great story! Good luck writing more in the future, regardless of which the subject will be! And be forever blessed! Peter
6/27/2020 c15 Guest
Thank you so much for this story, It has been so good. One of the things that I liked best was the fact that you updated it on time, every time. It can be frustrating when people don't, so thank you for that. The story was amazing, and I have loved reading it, from beginning to end. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for this story, It has been so good. One of the things that I liked best was the fact that you updated it on time, every time. It can be frustrating when people don't, so thank you for that. The story was amazing, and I have loved reading it, from beginning to end. Keep up the good work!
6/26/2020 c14 PadrePedro
Ooooooohh - this is escalating horribly! Well written and thrilling story.
I will be sad when it is so soon over
Ooooooohh - this is escalating horribly! Well written and thrilling story.
I will be sad when it is so soon over