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2/1 c38 Guest
I'm enjoying it so far, it's not perfect but the concept is good and it reads well enough. Looking forward to whenever you can get your computer fixed and continue writing.
1/14 c36 ccl1995
Ah, damn the cliffhanger. Really looking forward to part 2 of the fight
12/18/2020 c33 AzraelSaint
Dont lead him to the ambush shay, It'll end badly
12/10/2020 c32 YuukiAsuna-Chan
They really aren't. Amber taken down by a team of 4, Cinder pushed to her limit by Pyrrha, Cinder again beaten by Penny and Winter (pretty sure that fight took place before Penny became a maiden, could be wrong though), Penny beaten by the Ace Ops.

That is not making them seem like beasts in battle. To be honest, nothing has really been shown (in canon) to make me believe the are anywhere near as powerful as they where hyped up to be. It's like buying a fire cracker that is hyped up to be strong enough to blow up a house yet actually only able to blow up a letterbox.
12/7/2020 c31 YuukiAsuna-Chan
Last chapter, honestly Pyrrha isn't much of a problem. They know her semblance and thus can easily counter by you know, not wearing metal or use lightning dust (gravity dust would also fuck with magnetic fields) or something to fuck with magnetic field. She never showed any sign of being able to manipulate things other than metal so honestly not much of a problem.

It's kinda strange that he would wear metal when he should know her semblance. Especially when there are other materials that are just effective he could replace his weapons with for this mission.

To be honest Ruby (after the explanation of her semblance in V8) has the most op semblance if she ever uses it to even a fraction of what it in theory should be capable of. Simply put mass is of no consequence to her and that means that she should be able to reach lightspeed and a lot of stuff happen the closer you get to lightspeed let alone reach it (just go do some research into it).

Anyway, as for this chapter - Not much to say really other than i get the feeling you may be setting Jaune up to die. This kinda seemed like a death flag being raised for him here not to mention how it would impact both Ruby and Pyrrha.

Oh right, im glad to see a story that actually got it right about why Cinder was effected by Ruby's eyes. Wouldn't believe how many hold that it is because of the Maiden power (idiots) even when there is straight up evidence that isn't the case (Like the fight in Haven when she started to do her lightshow and Cinder was clearly effected yet Raven wasn't).
12/7/2020 c30 YuukiAsuna-Chan
And Ruby still hasn't learnt a thing. She STILL rushing in like a damn idiotic hothead and once again someone else gets hurt from it. It's almost like she wants them to die for her, Penny, now Qrow maybe.

How many need to get hurt/die before it sinks in that rushing into fights hotheaded is a bad idea?
12/7/2020 c29 YuukiAsuna-Chan
Hmm, not to sure about that Oz. I don't think they will be as cool as they where in canon accepting you, hell Ruby might be outright against you.
12/7/2020 c28 YuukiAsuna-Chan
God i hope we not gonna get any Ruby/Jaune crap. I reading this because there was no romance tag or any listed pairing. Worse though, is that Ruby/Jaune is one of my most hated pairings.
12/7/2020 c25 YuukiAsuna-Chan
Oh man, i can see that when Ruby and Cinder see each other again they are gonna forget about everything else and be in there own little world that revolves around killing each other.

Hmm, come to think of it, wonder how Ruby will react to all the secrets Oz has been keeping? I mean, she was already pissed in earlier chapter and even had thoughts of revenge on him so i can only imagine how much worse that might get.

Makes me wonder how many people have turned against him when they find out more of the secrets he keeps from them other than those he tells them to get them to work for him and gain there trust?
12/7/2020 c24 YuukiAsuna-Chan
Well damn, Ruby has come to crossroads and has chosen her path. Honestly can't say i disagree with her, she just needs to make sure she has her own set of codes/boundaries or such that she won't cross or she may become worse than what she is hunting.
12/7/2020 c16 YuukiAsuna-Chan
Ah Jaune, it's easy to say you won't be the weak link but it is a whole other story actually making it happen. Simple fact is, you can't make up for years of training and conditioning in a short time, it will take years to get to the current level of the rest of his team however it isn't like during that time they won't be getting stronger and growing themselves, so basically he will always be trying to catch up.

Basically the only way he could catch up to them is if they stop training and growing or reach there ceiling.
12/7/2020 c10 YuukiAsuna-Chan
To be honest, i don't think the fight would have went much different even if Pyrrha did get Amber's power. She has no experience in its use or how it effects her and such, sure the fight might have been harder but i think it would have ended the same.
12/7/2020 c7 YuukiAsuna-Chan
Well, seems Oz just got a new enemy in Ruby. That will be interesting to see where that goes.
12/6/2020 c2 YuukiAsuna-Chan
It's gonna be interesting. This was a huge wake up call for Ruby, the fact she questions if it is worth saving those from White Fang says a lot.
11/28/2020 c30 np.lake101
Good chapter, and yeah pyrrha is to strong since for a while when reading I was thinking why didn't pyrrha just manipulate tyrians weapons but you made her tired to explain that. Also like how ruby is way stronger cause of the dust and gauntlets also more almost aggrisive to beat tyrain and find Cinder since she wanted to chase him
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