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for Rio Chatroom, or, How Four Birds Found Love

4/23/2020 c2 Deadaccount273
LEMON would be epic
4/21/2020 c1 1monsterjamvadim
4/20/2020 c1 catspats31
I like the writing quality of the story, but the story breaks the following part of the Content Guidelines:

Entries not allowed:
6. Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries.

To make this story in compliance with the site's rules, you can have the chat in your story and just have the characters from Rio discuss the chat and the ongoing stuff around it, referencing certain things said/done, without any of it being in chat form. Please make it so the chat/script portion doesn't exist at all.

Here is the background information about when the admins added the rule against chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries on September 12, 2002:
Chat room or keyboard dialogue based entries will no longer be allowed. Much of the chat room entries are void of plot, without attempt at plot and are more in line with random dialogue than with stories or poetry. Having these type of entries on the site is unfair to those that have spent quality time fleshing out substantial content.
4/18/2020 c2 2OrangeMacawWorld
Thank you for the shout out at the beginning of the chapter, it is utmost appreciated! Now onto the chapter itself, it is quite clear that you put in a significant amount of effort into researching, as well as detailing the lives and personalities of each of the four characters. However, while this narrative exposition does convey its information properly, the writing quality on its own could certainly incorporate improvements. The most notable flaw of all in this area was the manner in which the chapter's exposition would transition to a new character, involving the placement of said character's name above the information when this could have instead been replaced with some form of preposition.

Other issues that I would like to point out are vested in some minor mistakes in the writing. For example, in your sentence "Despite the loneliness, he was contempt with his life," it struck me immediately that you meant "content," not "contempt." Another example is the way in which you wrote the name of Rio de Janeiro - the middling "de" is not to be capitalized, as it is an article in Portuguese and the non-conjugated equivalent of the English word "of."

Lastly, bear in mind that when I wrote "write a story around the chat," I meant that your chatroom chapters should incorporate narrative exposition within them apart from the dialogue, not in different chapters that are kept separate. And again, this advice of mine is to merely keep you out of any potential trouble with Critics United, who have inspected material from this archive on numerous occasions. Nonetheless, continue improving!
4/17/2020 c1 Deadaccount273
man I ship ted and blu
4/17/2020 c1 OrangeMacawWorld
Hello, once again! In regards to this new work of yours, I would have to admit that the comedic effect is greater than that "A Very Sad Story," and mostly for the reason that this depicts a chatroom conversation between several young adults in highly accurate fashion. As a whole, I do find this concept interesting, as it once again revolves around an idea which has not been executed before on the Rio Archive.

However, while the concept beyond this story is fairly intriguing, this story's content should see extensive revisions in order to comply with site rules (particularly the one which bans script-format writing such as this; the reason this rule exists on FFN is because script-format writing for a time resulted in many lower-quality works and encouraged a lack of detailed narration.) In other words, you can certainly retain the dialogue, but it is necessary to write a full story around it in order to keep yourself out of trouble. If you want to alternatively keep this story in the state it is now in, I would in that case recommend this be transferred to A03, where content regulations are nonexistent.

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