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2/24 c14 2Sayuri Zen av Elda
God, I love Shiro and Gai together. Literal dorks.
2/24 c13 Sayuri Zen av Elda
I really appreciate the time you took to study medicine. Shiro knows so much, though I son’t understand half of it XD
2/24 c12 Sayuri Zen av Elda
Addition to my previous comment. Since Shiro feels so detached and despreesed, this kind of writing style, with short, solo sentences suits the story Well. You read it as if the narrator (Shiro) is tired and nonchalant, as if every sentence is supposed to be the last, but Shiro manages to get through.
2/24 c12 Sayuri Zen av Elda
So Shiro seems to be a mix of Tsunade, Orochimaru and Madara. Pretty neat and something I haven’t seen before. I also like the fact Shiro is so detatched. It gives a sense of depression, the fact that Shiro can’t really feel anything, besides youthfulness thanks to Gai. It’s probably how most people realistically would react upon being reborn into a new, arguably more dangerous world (and time), AND being rejected by their whole family and clan. Shiro says it’s not bothersome, but I don’t really buy that. Maybe Shiro is just ignoring the hurt.
2/24 c11 Sayuri Zen av Elda
”Clone one had gone to feed and water Gai and make sure he was alive and well.” This had me cackling. Poor Guy, good that he has Shiro when his father is on missions.
2/21 c80 Herl
It was an enjoyable read
A bit slow for my taste but still a nice way to pass the time
2/19 c80 ThomasoPotato
Thank you for making this gem of a story, it was very interesting to read, I'm looking forward to reading your other story.
2/13 c1 Guest
While I like your story, one always felt rather far removed from what happening. wich made it a bit bland. I think if you flesh out the world a bit more (characters included) and not just chakra theorie it would solve that problem. At the moment it is a bit hard to feel with the mc, since there is not a lot to go of from.
2/11 c27 Guest
I am not even surprised by the quirky sociopathic naruto fanfiction mc trope anymore. It's been extremely overdone and due to the over saturation of naruto fanfictions in general out there it feels like it's all that the naruto fanfic community has to offer. I can't even remember the last naruto fanfic where the mc wasn't either a sociopath beyond redemption or a living/breathing sack of nerves that is only in the naruto to jazz up constantly and make the plot worse even with metaknowledge. I'm probably going to stop reading naruto fanfictions for a LONG time after I'm finished with this one... maybe completely if this cliche keep repeating itself.
2/7 c80 DuckingSenpai
hey dude is sad to hear you lost your fun writing this awesome fanfiction. I loved to read how a person slowly loses his morals and slips to insanity. I never watched naruto and I never will but I still got most of the story through fanfics and for me personally this was the best one I followed over the longest time and never fully lost sight of. I hope you do more fanfictions with this type of story, maybe you could even try a villain story, marvel or dc is a nice medium for those. And let me tell you I'm active in webnovel and you totally right 95% of the story are shitty harem wishfullfilling in dumb unrealistic ways and I lost interest in all of them so over time I added and deleted like 100books there and only have 10 max left I actively wait for updates. So shitty ranting over, I just wanted to tell you that your awesome and i hope you continue to write and creat new storys for people like me that wanna dive in interesting new worlds to waste time. Much appreciation from Germany my guy
2/1 c80 JManM
I found a lot of this work rather inspirational. If I am ever writing a Naruto story (very unlikely) I will probably reference the munchkinery of this fic. This work had ideas I hadn't seen elsewhere in the fandom.
You had a clear goal and tone for Shiro from the start and let him grow into a more genuine person rather than a flat psychopath.
You probably lost a lot of fans stylistically when you made everything so scattered and bogged down by minutia. Many of the ideas Shiro explored didn't pan out and while realistic it wore down the narrative pay off. Also as things got drawn out Shiro's whiney attitude turned me off. He also started getting really indecisive after he made the flesh clone. Allons-y was needed big time before you chose to kill the fic.
Best wishes dawg.
1/27 c80 HearingColours
Thank you for your work.
The first chapters were hard to read, but it got better and more enjoyable.
It was interesting to read Shiro's thought process, strange but interesting, I'm glad you didn't make his madness like that of Orochimaru. The fight scenes were great but the most enjoyable thing in your story for me was the dark humor, you made me laugh out loud a few times my family came over to check on me :), the experiments that he performed and the process of his training was detailed and well-thought, but it made me skip through some of it because I don't enjoy reading about it, well for some, it might be entertaining, sadly not for me. What I missed in this story was character interaction, maybe because of the way Shiro is, we didn't get to know better the other characters, because he was not really interested in them. So, while Shiro's madness is the most captivating part, it has it's disadvantages, mainly because of it he shows little interest towards others, his interest being purely scientific or as a cure for his boredom, that makes me as a reader want more meaningful interactions between him and others, I think some meaningful dialogue would make this story even better, sadly Shiro always avoided it...
Another thing that I missed in your story beside meaningful interactions, was other characters development, we got to see how they progress in their power but not as individuals and the interludes were only their view of Shiro. While you made me as a reader care about Shiro, you did not made me care about other characters, because I don't really know them. The only character I didn't want to die was Shiro's mother, and not because I cared about her life, but I cared because how her death would affect and change Shiro ( I didn't want to see him fall deeper into madness). Maybe I should not expect other characters development in a SI, but I missed it.
Overall I enjoyed reading your story, and seeing you progress with each chapter.
Good luck in your future and Thank you for this story.
1/26 c7 Subscribe
This youthful crap is getting annoying for real, and dressing in those ugly jumpsuits too. I can't take him seriously.
1/26 c4 Subscribe
This ''Youthful'' stuff you have going on is cringe honestly.
1/26 c2 Subscribe
Its a nice read so far, but that's not how the Shadow Clone works the memories only pop up until after they're gone and having so many activated and then dispelling them can cause brain damage that's why its not used much. If it worked the way it did in this fic then Naruto would be a damm genius no one could stand up to since he activates like what? 100 at a time maybe lol.
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