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for Rebirth In The Naruto-verse (SIOC)

1/5 c48 Aetherium21
Bahahaha Shirou continuously winking while feeding Orochimaru that idea was hilarious
1/4 c22 Aetherium21
Whaaaat? Why on earth would Shiro's mom just flash the rasengan like that in public soon as they asked?
1/4 c12 Aetherium21
Ahahaha, for science!
1/4 c1 Aetherium21
Fun premise and introductory chapter so far! Eager to keep reading your story
12/31/2020 c80 thiago.anime.neves
Great story, shame that as you said ended before the teisengan, that is one of my biggest desires to read, anyway overall has been a good road and surprisingly a good read, noting the bad reputation most self insert ff have
12/31/2020 c80 kaksoup
I thoroughly enjoyed your theory crafting regarding how to get and develop powers in the world of Naruto. Lots of interesting ideas and developments.

On the other hand I think the mc gained powers far too quickly and reading about a depressed character is depressing.

Your ability to write an op protagonist has improved immensely. At the start when he gained powers and depression he would sigh multiple times in every chapter... I was very happy when the number of sighs per chapter started to decrease :p

Thank you for sticking with the story and writing as much as you did! Like what was done in "The gallant gamer gal", please consider writing a last chapter summarizing how the story would have progressed if you continued to write it :)
12/30/2020 c80 Firlz
Maybe it's just me, felt like an odd tone shift in the last two chapters. Between the geese and the vase stealing thing just felt odd.

If that was part of a prelude to MC having like a full mental break or something as his genetic fuckery drives him insane? Then I think it makes sense. If it's for some other reason I can't figure out what it would be.
12/30/2020 c80 Scythal
Hi,

It was quite a fine reading even if you have a bad automatic text editor or English is not your best known language.

You had good ideas, changing the point of view was nice.

Good luck on your next story.
12/30/2020 c80 3intata
OK, so. This is your first fic? Because it's waaay better than my first fic. H*ll, it would be better than my current fic if a couple little things were fixed.

Things to improve upon:
1. Longer paragraphs. When every other sentence is interrupted - by being a paragraph end - It can be hard for the reader to understand what they just read. Linear thought is important for getting ideas across. However it's also important to have short paragraphs for shorter thoughts. Basically, vary it up a bit.
2. "Sigh..." Is technically very wrong. Things in quotes are said. Meaning every time someone sighed in your story, they literally said the word "sigh."
3. The bold "Snort*," and "Sigh*" that you have sprinkled around would be better as "He snorted in surprise." I understand the want to emphasize certain things, but rather than Bold, I would try italics. If you're trying to get published at any point, a publisher's going to crack down on bolded things.
4. Technical blubber is super fun to write. It's absolutely great to dive into the "how" of a magic system like you've done in this. However I think that's a pretty big reason why you got tired of this story. Diving too hard into the "how" means that you're not catering to the majority of readers who really only care about plot, relationships between characters, and cool fights. It also means that you're putting too much thought into something. If you want everything to be flawless on the science side, and STILL write a good story, you're going to burn yourself out. I would suggest learning to write in vague terms while describing progression, and using the super science-y parts in character dialogue only. This reduces stressful writing and moves the plot at a more decent pace. Reducing a source of frustration for both you and the readers.
5. I would suggest putting your author's notes at the bottom of the story, rather than the top. The only exception being the first chapter - which should have both. I've asked around, and I'm pretty confident that this increases reader participation. More reviews.

I enjoyed this story thoroughly, and it upsets me that you've gotten so much hate. Sure there's things to improve on, but you're not getting paid for this, so people that complain are just being c*nts.
12/30/2020 c80 Just a fan
Sad to see you go. I wish you all the best. The story was a fun read. Be well. :)
12/29/2020 c80 Veilan
I most enjoyed your story when you wrote character interaction. I thought you got lost a bit on inner monologue. Plot was interesting, but MC needed an antagonist or foil.

Your foil was to many collective ideas.
12/29/2020 c80 connectionRefused
I really liked the constant scientific alike progress. Especially with the fact that half the times it wasn't succesfull.

I dislike how fast you glossed on stuff like mission and so on.
12/29/2020 c80 RandomPasserby96
damn hate to see a good fanfic ended hope u update us if there is a new fic coming. anyway, i like how the MC has that weirdo vibe and unnerve everyone. its cool that he actually enjoys unnerving people too. didnt hate anything. just hope that u update us of new fanfic. i love ur writing style
12/29/2020 c80 talltree3
thank you for writing at all i enjoyed your story a lot and I agree webnovel have become trash I do hope in the future you write again as you are incredible in my option stay safe and have a good day
12/29/2020 c80 ThatOneNerdyWeirdo
Although it's sad to see you dropping, I understand it completely (sorta). This was my favorite series and I would wait for it every week, shame.

In a lot of fanfics, there would be tons of details making it more imaginative. They were lengthy ones.

Yours didn't have As much but was more simplistic (besides the DNA stuff) which I liked, as it made it more comedic.

Can't say I hate your style, so there's that. Anyways I hope you get your motivation back, and Mabey release the unfinished chapters for the heck of it.

Good work athour-sama
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