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for Alex Rider school attack

11/6/2021 c1 wolfwind42
I love a fight scene as much as the next guy but, didn’t all twenty men have guns? Why didn’t they shoot?
7/28/2021 c1 VirReturnsFromMinbar
Very interesting.
6/27/2020 c1 Guest
This is, like, an exact copy of another fic. Small details have changed, but it's still the same. Either that, or someone copied your fic. No offence, but as your fic is much more sloppily written, I would assume the former. It's not cool to steal other people's fics.
4/24/2020 c1 Guest
I loved this you should update I was thinking of writing a Alex rider x of fanfic just wondering if and one would read it :)
4/23/2020 c1 JustAReader

first of all, I think you've done a really good job, considering that this is your first fanfiction.

Before I start, let me just say that I noticed that you haven't gotten any detailed reviews yet, so I figured I should change that :)
Aside from that, when reading this review please keep in mind that I am not in any way a writer, just an avid reader, so anything I'm writing to you is just based on my experiences of reading fanfiction.
Ok so now onto my actual review...

I think with this first chapter you've managed to establish the necessary basis for the rest of the plot very well.
However, I feel like you might be rushing the storyline a bit too much: Just within this one chapter, we see Alex in class with Tom, realising that his school is under attack, then Alex gets called out by Dr Three, he calls for help and fights of his antagonists, then he helps his injured classmate and finally he reveals his scars in front of Mr Bray.
The point I'm trying to make here - (and that is also meant as some friendly advice, which you're of course completely free to ignore by the way) - is that you could probably make an entire chapter just out of each one of the events listed above. So perhaps, in order to not rush the storyline as much, you could try making longer descriptions of what is going on in Alex's mind and maybe make the dialogues longer by having each character explain their thoughts in more detail when they say something.
That said, I think it's awesome that you're able to write such a long chapter right from the beginning!

Other than that my advice would be to maybe look into grammar and punctuation a bit more - I know it's super annoying and I confess that, whenever I do write something, I struggle a lot with that as well (even though that's mostly because English is not my first language), but it really makes the experience a lot more enjoyable for your readers. If you're not sure how to improve that part of your writing on your own, I'm pretty sure you could try to find a beta reader on this site - although since I'm just a reader, I have no idea what you'd have to do in order to find someone like that.

Lastly, as far as I'm aware, most fanfiction writers put A/N's only at the beginning and the end of each chapter. So if there is something you would like to say as an author in the middle of your story, you can just put an asterisk at the end of the sentence and then say what you want to say at the end of your chapter.
Oh and when it comes to formatting it might also be helpful to put a line break in between some of the paragraphs of your story every once in a while.

Wow, I hope I didn't overwhelm you with all of my opinions! This is meant to be purely encouraging, because I really think you have lots of potential!

Keep up the good work and have a nice day/night!
JustAReader :)
4/25/2020 c1 we take a zebra to Vegas
it's good can there be a chapter 2
4/23/2020 c1 Guest
Good first chapter
4/23/2020 c1 Jack is the man
I give you 9/10 as there is a few mistakes
4/23/2020 c1 Jack is the man
It is really good and you should make more books
4/23/2020 c1 6ShotaroxPhillip
would like to see more. it is interesting
4/23/2020 c1 JensonIsAnIdiot
Haven't read this but the author wants a review so, 7/10

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