Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Beauty and the demon

4/30 c1 22The ink stained poet
This story definitely has a lot of potential and I'm excited to see how it unfolds. The opening line seemed very reminiscent of the classic fairytale opening, which I liked. The writing style definitely seems like a fairytale, which I hope continues. As someone who used to love fairytales, this story idea definitely appeals to me. There are a few nit picks I would like to point out, I'm no English expert though.
The first was with the opening, " Long ago, in a far away land. . " There's nothing wrong with the sentence itself, but I think when your using the periods to draw out the sentence, ( I probably phrased that wrong, forgive me.) I think it looks cleaner if you put three periods together, for example "Long ago, in a far away land..." Though this is more of a personal thing than a nitpick, I thought I'd point it out. It's one hundred percent your choice whether you ignore it or take it on board though.
The only other thing was with the line, "For who could learn to love. . A demon?" Again, the sentence itself is beautiful, reminiscent of the classic story, but I don't feel like you need to capitalise the A.
But besides that I'm definitely loving this story so far! Great job, keep up the great writing!

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service