for The Next Great Adventure8/21/2021 c8 Mss
I don’t think I’ll finish reading this even if you update it. It’s a good original idea, but not necessarily my cup of tea.
I feel like this whole endeavor is pointless. If he had been Harry Potter he could have potentially cast the killing curse. Sure they could have tried to block it but you need to actually use something physical to do so in HP so imagine it would be the same in Inheritance Cycle.
Also, what is the point of having MC help if he’s just going to be caught? The whole thing was honestly really stupid. He tells the Dwarves are stupid for the actions they take but he did exactly the same thing. Not only is his family put at risk but his future as well.
I mean at least they don’t know he’s a dragon yet but now his existence is known…
Also I’m not really enjoying the character development. Kinda wish you would have just done a time skip. Maybe had him help Brom rescue the Dragon eggs from the king.
The forsworn are still alive but I’m pretty sure in canon most of them where almost all dead by the time Brom’s Dragon was killed, but I could be wrong it’s been awhile since I’ve read the books or even looked at IC’s timeline.
Honestly it would have been neater if Harry had actually just gotten a dragon companion then actually becoming a dragon.
I don’t think I’ll finish reading this even if you update it. It’s a good original idea, but not necessarily my cup of tea.
I feel like this whole endeavor is pointless. If he had been Harry Potter he could have potentially cast the killing curse. Sure they could have tried to block it but you need to actually use something physical to do so in HP so imagine it would be the same in Inheritance Cycle.
Also, what is the point of having MC help if he’s just going to be caught? The whole thing was honestly really stupid. He tells the Dwarves are stupid for the actions they take but he did exactly the same thing. Not only is his family put at risk but his future as well.
I mean at least they don’t know he’s a dragon yet but now his existence is known…
Also I’m not really enjoying the character development. Kinda wish you would have just done a time skip. Maybe had him help Brom rescue the Dragon eggs from the king.
The forsworn are still alive but I’m pretty sure in canon most of them where almost all dead by the time Brom’s Dragon was killed, but I could be wrong it’s been awhile since I’ve read the books or even looked at IC’s timeline.
Honestly it would have been neater if Harry had actually just gotten a dragon companion then actually becoming a dragon.
6/5/2021 c8 
9K. M. Donovan
whelp, that just confirmed my previous statement. you have changed harry too much. he is no longer Harry potter, but an original character. thus this is not a harry centric crossover but an OC centric crossover.
for it to be a Harry potter fic, you need the main character to be HARRY POTTER. that means name and memories intact. the moment you rebirth him in a new land with a new name and new memories? he ceases to be Harry potter and becomes an Original character.
so good luck with your fic, but I came here to read about harry potter in Alagaesia, not about an original character who USED to be harry potter.
thats the biggest issue here. by stripping his memories and experiences? you are also removing his motivations, his goals, his drive. you are removing the very things that MAKE him harry Potter. without those? he is no longer harry potter.
so you have failed in your goal. for this to be Harry potter in a new world? he needs to remain HARRY BLOODY POTTER.
9K. M. Donovanwhelp, that just confirmed my previous statement. you have changed harry too much. he is no longer Harry potter, but an original character. thus this is not a harry centric crossover but an OC centric crossover.
for it to be a Harry potter fic, you need the main character to be HARRY POTTER. that means name and memories intact. the moment you rebirth him in a new land with a new name and new memories? he ceases to be Harry potter and becomes an Original character.
so good luck with your fic, but I came here to read about harry potter in Alagaesia, not about an original character who USED to be harry potter.
thats the biggest issue here. by stripping his memories and experiences? you are also removing his motivations, his goals, his drive. you are removing the very things that MAKE him harry Potter. without those? he is no longer harry potter.
so you have failed in your goal. for this to be Harry potter in a new world? he needs to remain HARRY BLOODY POTTER.
6/5/2021 c2 K. M. Donovan
not sure I can call this a harry potter story. thus far other then the prologue, there is nothing here that is HARRY. you have de-aged him to infancy, and changed his name. until I see he has his memories of the past? this is not a harry potter story, but an OC-centric eragon fic with minor Harry potter elements.
for this character to be Harry, then he needs to be HARRY, and thus far I am not seeing that.
so for now I am reserving judgement.
also, speech should be bracketed with "Speech" not 'Speech'. the double quotation marks are what is usually used to denote verbal speech. the single marks are usually used for thoughts, like a character giving an internal monologue. for mental conversations? usually Italics are used.
I point this out because you use of single quotation marks instead of the doubles? actually makes this hard to read. because my mind is rebelling against this butchering of everything I learned in my English creative writing courses.
not sure I can call this a harry potter story. thus far other then the prologue, there is nothing here that is HARRY. you have de-aged him to infancy, and changed his name. until I see he has his memories of the past? this is not a harry potter story, but an OC-centric eragon fic with minor Harry potter elements.
for this character to be Harry, then he needs to be HARRY, and thus far I am not seeing that.
so for now I am reserving judgement.
also, speech should be bracketed with "Speech" not 'Speech'. the double quotation marks are what is usually used to denote verbal speech. the single marks are usually used for thoughts, like a character giving an internal monologue. for mental conversations? usually Italics are used.
I point this out because you use of single quotation marks instead of the doubles? actually makes this hard to read. because my mind is rebelling against this butchering of everything I learned in my English creative writing courses.
3/21/2021 c8 kronos797
im a bit confused, when feanor is a dragon does he speak mentally like other dragons or verbally. that's something else i wanted to ask, can you use "speaking" for speaking and 'thought' for thoughts and telepathy, or something similar. just to differentiate between the two. alagesian dragons cant speak but are telepathic whereas the opposite is true for lotr dragons.
im a bit confused, when feanor is a dragon does he speak mentally like other dragons or verbally. that's something else i wanted to ask, can you use "speaking" for speaking and 'thought' for thoughts and telepathy, or something similar. just to differentiate between the two. alagesian dragons cant speak but are telepathic whereas the opposite is true for lotr dragons.
3/21/2021 c6 kronos797
i'd say change the spelling to faenor. he is quite fae to even the elves(fae being otherworldly and strange in this instance). he would be for the lotr elves as well.
i'd say change the spelling to faenor. he is quite fae to even the elves(fae being otherworldly and strange in this instance). he would be for the lotr elves as well.
1/31/2021 c8 outcome 5
I hope you have not abandoned your story since there are not many of eragon and it would be a shame if you abandoned it I was fascinated by the crossover of harry potter and Eragon please update soon
I hope you have not abandoned your story since there are not many of eragon and it would be a shame if you abandoned it I was fascinated by the crossover of harry potter and Eragon please update soon
12/30/2020 c8 Guest
„Then it is the SAME PERSON TALKING. I don’t know how to explain it any better...“ maybe instead of shouting at the reader engage that grey mass we all have and write it differently and better?
If you need to explain something again and again, you obviously do it wrong.
It’s design principle nr. 1. good luck.
„Then it is the SAME PERSON TALKING. I don’t know how to explain it any better...“ maybe instead of shouting at the reader engage that grey mass we all have and write it differently and better?
If you need to explain something again and again, you obviously do it wrong.
It’s design principle nr. 1. good luck.