for Brockton's Celestial Forge6/5/2020 c17 Cole BloodRose
Should have never let them on that site. Also maybe josef should check on the Life Fibers as he hasn’t told Garment to not touch them so to them it’s just a really nice thread not a parasitic alien being.
Should have never let them on that site. Also maybe josef should check on the Life Fibers as he hasn’t told Garment to not touch them so to them it’s just a really nice thread not a parasitic alien being.
6/5/2020 c17 valrie1995
I liked about this chapter that his thinker power didn't say much or anything really. Made the plot much more natural in my opinion.
It was still a lot of technobabble that doesn't really add anything to the story aside from repeating how awesome he is. I mean seriously, we keep hearing how every single one of his powers is pretty much the best tinker power in the world but he doesn't actually get around to building much. Maybe I missed something here since I started skimming through the paragraphs that were talking about his powers.
Aisha part was nice. I wonder whether Brian told her or she figured it out herself. He seemed a bit passive in responding but it's not unrealistic with his personality.
I liked about this chapter that his thinker power didn't say much or anything really. Made the plot much more natural in my opinion.
It was still a lot of technobabble that doesn't really add anything to the story aside from repeating how awesome he is. I mean seriously, we keep hearing how every single one of his powers is pretty much the best tinker power in the world but he doesn't actually get around to building much. Maybe I missed something here since I started skimming through the paragraphs that were talking about his powers.
Aisha part was nice. I wonder whether Brian told her or she figured it out herself. He seemed a bit passive in responding but it's not unrealistic with his personality.
6/5/2020 c17 thefoolishman
Welp. This must be some record to get uh ya know banned from so many places this fast. Good girl garment is the worst it seems... at human interaction. I wonder what she posted. _
Anyways you got a good power again, just hoping that you get something really OP soon you can use. Or find a way to give him enough time to at least make him pass a offensive or defensive, or a mix of both, project. I like the current project but the guy is on a timer cause so many want him so he needs some sort of OP power to protect himself. And i dont mean that the forge is bad, its actually OP for worm standards, but still. Maybe accumulate points for a chapter or two and then restrict the roll to 500 points cost powers. Though on the other hand... it would be fun to see him, ya know, struggle for a while longer and ultimately fail. Though i still hope for something like the titans blood you mentioned on the archive of our own.
Have a nice day! This was a good read. lol
Welp. This must be some record to get uh ya know banned from so many places this fast. Good girl garment is the worst it seems... at human interaction. I wonder what she posted. _
Anyways you got a good power again, just hoping that you get something really OP soon you can use. Or find a way to give him enough time to at least make him pass a offensive or defensive, or a mix of both, project. I like the current project but the guy is on a timer cause so many want him so he needs some sort of OP power to protect himself. And i dont mean that the forge is bad, its actually OP for worm standards, but still. Maybe accumulate points for a chapter or two and then restrict the roll to 500 points cost powers. Though on the other hand... it would be fun to see him, ya know, struggle for a while longer and ultimately fail. Though i still hope for something like the titans blood you mentioned on the archive of our own.
Have a nice day! This was a good read. lol
6/3/2020 c16 bloobloo2334
I love this idea. Often times people forget that knowledge of worm itself is what makes SIs so broken. Far more than any (reasonable) power you could give them. I love the way you took away the meta knowledge but added it back in very confusing thinker power. It's like fanon took shape as an angel over his shoulder. It'll give him so much wrong information and yet it's ultimately incredibly helpful. Super fun to read.
I love this idea. Often times people forget that knowledge of worm itself is what makes SIs so broken. Far more than any (reasonable) power you could give them. I love the way you took away the meta knowledge but added it back in very confusing thinker power. It's like fanon took shape as an angel over his shoulder. It'll give him so much wrong information and yet it's ultimately incredibly helpful. Super fun to read.
5/31/2020 c1 Guest
This story was very well done. The characterization for your OC is very good. Giving him enough of a background that we can sort of relate but not so much as to go into needless detail. The big thing that you seem to have a good hold on is only giving the information that's needed. Again, not fully explaining his trigger event since the details aren't important. The only thing I didn't like is the the story can get a bit tech heavy. I can't say that is a flaw, more a dislike of mine. Also I really wasn't into the Coil chapter. I suppose it was needed, both to show his angle and how other's see him as a threat, both as from the angle of a villain and the PRT but... is Coil aware that torture is notoriously unreliable because people under it will say anything to get people to stop?
This story was very well done. The characterization for your OC is very good. Giving him enough of a background that we can sort of relate but not so much as to go into needless detail. The big thing that you seem to have a good hold on is only giving the information that's needed. Again, not fully explaining his trigger event since the details aren't important. The only thing I didn't like is the the story can get a bit tech heavy. I can't say that is a flaw, more a dislike of mine. Also I really wasn't into the Coil chapter. I suppose it was needed, both to show his angle and how other's see him as a threat, both as from the angle of a villain and the PRT but... is Coil aware that torture is notoriously unreliable because people under it will say anything to get people to stop?
6/2/2020 c6 AsTheGlassMelts
Lol at the thought of Lisa looking a this guy and seeing 'His Thinker power that knows everything about everyone is telling him we're kind of cool, and that she's the most important person to have ever existed.'
Lol at the thought of Lisa looking a this guy and seeing 'His Thinker power that knows everything about everyone is telling him we're kind of cool, and that she's the most important person to have ever existed.'
5/31/2020 c1 AsTheGlassMelts
Great find. Been debating between a jumpchain and just Worm but with V1 CYOA Tinker powers(eerily similar to how this is presented, starting at nothing and gradually upgrading to more stuff you can tinker), maybe after reading this the decision will come more easily. It could certainly inspire me, and with it being arguably both of the things it could be either way.
Great find. Been debating between a jumpchain and just Worm but with V1 CYOA Tinker powers(eerily similar to how this is presented, starting at nothing and gradually upgrading to more stuff you can tinker), maybe after reading this the decision will come more easily. It could certainly inspire me, and with it being arguably both of the things it could be either way.
5/31/2020 c16 WRoosterdf
This chapter is very nice. It would take a massive inside knowledge of weaverdice mechanics as well as the world itself to be able to write something like this. Very well researched.
This chapter is very nice. It would take a massive inside knowledge of weaverdice mechanics as well as the world itself to be able to write something like this. Very well researched.
5/31/2020 c16 PhantomOfDeath1
He needs to build up NOW. Please have him take a week to just build stuff. If he doesn't, he has no hope of staying independent.
He needs to build up NOW. Please have him take a week to just build stuff. If he doesn't, he has no hope of staying independent.
5/31/2020 c16 
2Derich
First: Garnment is a badass (and Coil being a psychopath, of course he would try to destroy the "indestructible construct of do... I mean... fashion").
Second, the Protectorate probably showed its worse side right here (like I thought). That was a combination of issues running deep and resonating with a report (which is already a shitting thing to do to Panacea, even if it is protocol, but Armsmaster behavior made it much much worse for everybody).
Third, yup: difficulty got upped (by Coil). However, the protagonist is probably Coil's modus operandi worst nightmare:
- Coil still misread several things (due to the cautiousness of the protagonist, and the fact that nobody could have planned that his power is in constant flux). The "cowardly" is indeed the best way of interpreting these actions, from the partial information Coil got, and this misread probably saved the protagonist life.
- Likewise, Dinah (limited number of) predictions only works on the protagonist current set of power (which is indeed currently insufficient for a rescue), but the percentages will probably jump suddenly at near 100% when he will think himself ready.
- I am so waiting the "Coil meet magic" moment when he will realize that his assumption on the protagonist power is wrong (I don't see how "Matter thinker" includes teleportation and physical immunity, so probably some part of Panacea's interrogation felt through... which is understandable judging the other information in this report)
Anyway, thanks for the chapter!
2DerichFirst: Garnment is a badass (and Coil being a psychopath, of course he would try to destroy the "indestructible construct of do... I mean... fashion").
Second, the Protectorate probably showed its worse side right here (like I thought). That was a combination of issues running deep and resonating with a report (which is already a shitting thing to do to Panacea, even if it is protocol, but Armsmaster behavior made it much much worse for everybody).
Third, yup: difficulty got upped (by Coil). However, the protagonist is probably Coil's modus operandi worst nightmare:
- Coil still misread several things (due to the cautiousness of the protagonist, and the fact that nobody could have planned that his power is in constant flux). The "cowardly" is indeed the best way of interpreting these actions, from the partial information Coil got, and this misread probably saved the protagonist life.
- Likewise, Dinah (limited number of) predictions only works on the protagonist current set of power (which is indeed currently insufficient for a rescue), but the percentages will probably jump suddenly at near 100% when he will think himself ready.
- I am so waiting the "Coil meet magic" moment when he will realize that his assumption on the protagonist power is wrong (I don't see how "Matter thinker" includes teleportation and physical immunity, so probably some part of Panacea's interrogation felt through... which is understandable judging the other information in this report)
Anyway, thanks for the chapter!
5/31/2020 c16 1YeTianshi
Nothing gets a person to hate Coil quite as much as reading things in his perspective. Gotta say you got his personality down so good that I actually feel the need to take a shower after taking a look around in his mind.
Will be looking forward to the next chapter, already wondering how everything will turn out :D
1YeTianshiNothing gets a person to hate Coil quite as much as reading things in his perspective. Gotta say you got his personality down so good that I actually feel the need to take a shower after taking a look around in his mind.
Will be looking forward to the next chapter, already wondering how everything will turn out :D
5/31/2020 c16 thefoolishman
Well i expected a PRT/Amy's family interlude but i got a coil interlude... i ain't disappointed though.
I must agree that currently the MC is a coward and is relying on his power too much, as a few said already. But I personally think that this is what the author wanted. I think personally that he is trying to show a character growth that happens slowly troughout the story. We can see that he isnt happy about facing his "demons" and that he is in a bad mental place. (For an example the part about him not wanting to meet a psychatrist i think it was or when he said his power he relied on is what kept him going.)
All this points to the author trying to make a slow, but sure, character growth episode or to steer it towards a outcome that makes him act less on his power then he does currently. Currently he relies on it because he has nothing else to rely on. He seems to be a broken shell of a person that latches onto the last thing he can think of. As i picture many parahumans. But i dont think he will change simply in a few episodes this will probably slowly change.
Anyways that was a nice chapter, a coil interlude is always welcome. (Had to google his powers again cause i thought they worked a bit differently but i think its all good.)
I can't wait for the MC to get to the point where such small things won't do anything anymore. But this will probably take quite a while.
Well i expected a PRT/Amy's family interlude but i got a coil interlude... i ain't disappointed though.
I must agree that currently the MC is a coward and is relying on his power too much, as a few said already. But I personally think that this is what the author wanted. I think personally that he is trying to show a character growth that happens slowly troughout the story. We can see that he isnt happy about facing his "demons" and that he is in a bad mental place. (For an example the part about him not wanting to meet a psychatrist i think it was or when he said his power he relied on is what kept him going.)
All this points to the author trying to make a slow, but sure, character growth episode or to steer it towards a outcome that makes him act less on his power then he does currently. Currently he relies on it because he has nothing else to rely on. He seems to be a broken shell of a person that latches onto the last thing he can think of. As i picture many parahumans. But i dont think he will change simply in a few episodes this will probably slowly change.
Anyways that was a nice chapter, a coil interlude is always welcome. (Had to google his powers again cause i thought they worked a bit differently but i think its all good.)
I can't wait for the MC to get to the point where such small things won't do anything anymore. But this will probably take quite a while.