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1h c22 14Squirrela
There are a lot of good elements in this chapter, I love the conversation between Mr. Wonka and Mrs. Bucket.

The last sentence sounds very much like a wrap up. It’s like, for Mrs. Bucket, this story has concluded.

Thanks for the update.
1h c21 Squirrela
How true on the gobstopper: one of the things I always think when watching the film is how uncomfortable it would be to try and suck one of them. And so true, it isn’t good for business to sell a candy that stops people buying more!
9/15 c22 13Turrislucidus
This is a lovely chapter, neatly tying up loose ends, showing relationships established, and promising for Charlie entirely new horizons in his life. Is this, then, the last chapter of this story? It has an ending feel to it, with, between the lines, the happy promise of a sequel to come.
9/14 c22 7ABBAbethTheHamster
Ooh, I see that real life versus that in the factory during the difficult part of childhood is getting involved! Personally, this chapter didn't come across as filler to me, rest assured. Oftentimes, when writers want to foreshadow something (although I admittedly don't know if you intend to do so right now), they insert details and scenes that seem insignificant at first but come together later. In this case, what with the theme of Charlie's early adolescence/hitting puberty conflicting with peer interactions in both locations being the main focus of the chapter, this might be a great way to ease into the next hurdle of Charlie being trained in mentorship while still having a life outside of it. Anyway, long story short, I liked this chapter, as it introduced a bit of subtle intrigue.

Oh, and I just thought that you'd want to know-one of the sentences towards the end of the chapter is an abrupt, unfinished fragment with no punctuation. It's the one with, "...if he could put up with Joe's grumpiness he could certainly take". What was it supposed to say?
7/4 c21 13Turrislucidus
Sorry to say it, as, heh, immature as it is, but when Mr. Wonka said: 'Do you know what I like about you, Mr. Bucket?' I was so hoping he'd resurrect that old joke, and answer his own question with: 'Nothing.' *giggles*

That said, Mr. Wonka IS packing some salt into that old wound: revealing to Grandpa Joe that he was powerless, with that fake gobstopper, to have done any real harm to Mr. Wonka, however much he, Grandpa Joe, might have wished to. Twas a nice try with the sugar Mr. Wonka sprinkled on at the end, but I reckon the friction continues.
6/10 c21 Guest
Good story.

Can’t wait for the next chapter!
6/8 c21 15Gs33022
Dear Emerald:

This chapter was well worth the wait! I loved the conversation between Mr. Wonka and Grandpa Joe in this chapter, especially the Everlasting Gobstopper. Was Joe secretly admiring Wonka a reference to the book, since this side wasn't really shown in the final film? Anyways, I also liked the touch with Tom and the scarf. Was that a reference to his birthday present in the film? I really enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you conquer the writer's block soon!

‐‐ Gabe :)
6/8 c21 7ABBAbethTheHamster
I think that the analysis of the Everlasting Gobstopper very much has gotten memetic by this point. People always note that the shape makes it hard to suck on, but this is the first time I've ever seen Mr. Wonka himself acknowledge that the very concept makes no sense from a revenue perspective. (This isn't a criticism; I'm giving props to the fact that the creator himself is intentionally lampooning the candy.) In hindsight, it makes total sense; if there really was a slight chance that the sample candy that you showed to four children whom you met only that very day could fall into the wrong hands, then the safest bet would be to use a prop. The Everlasting Gobstopper still seems like a good concept in theory, though, although the life before it started to shrink probably would have to be reduced to a month or so, with the name changed for a more suitably descriptive fit.
6/8 c21 63Erik'sTrueAngel
I always thought the same about the Gobstopper. If it keeps going forever... Then why would you buy anything else? But to find out it was a ruse... Lol. Well played Wonka. I loved the conversation with him and Grandpa Joe. Whatever concerns or loose ends they had between each other are put to rest. It would be curious if Joe did sell it to Slugsworth for retribution, but I hope if Charlie said no then he wouldn't. The impulsive need to punish could have serious consequences and I think Joe sees that. At least they don't need to wonder since it didn't happen!
4/18 c1 dhea11
Such a treasure each one of these books isI've heard a few of them and can't wait to read most of theseIf you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on Novel Star, just submit your story to hardy novelstar. top or joye novelstar. top
3/29 c20 Gs33022
I forgot to include this in my original review. It was also said, "He asked two of his Oompa Loompas take over from him..." (forgot the word "to" after "Oompa-Loompas.")
3/29 c20 15Gs33022
Dear Emerald:

This was another great chapter! I liked how you included how the Bucket family was dealing with the loss of Grandpa George, especially Grandma Georgina. I also found it funny how Charlie brought up Mr. Turkentine's sarcastic joke. XD

Keep up the great work!

- Gabe S. :)

(P.S. I feel like I must note, while reading this, I spotted four errors, in the following order:

1. "...grieving herself but It felt good..." ("it" is capitalized unnecessarily)
2. "still, regardless of your teachers , being..." (large space with the comma)
3. "So is a car," he replied curtly . (large space with the period after "curtly")
4. "He asked two of his Oompa Loompas..." (no hyphen)

Aside from those errors, I enjoyed this chapter! Keep it up!
3/29 c20 14Squirrela
It’s interesting to see these mundane trappings of life, mixed with the challenges of becoming mini-celebrities in the town. Most places, people would think nothing of the person who was given the honour of becoming Wonka’s apprentice and their family: probably wouldn’t make any difference to them: likely some rich kid who wouldn’t deign to spend time with ordinary people. But when you know them, know that they are ordinary people who have been whisked away to the lap of luxury, it’s very different.
3/28 c20 63Erik'sTrueAngel
Glad they're doing better but with grief... You take one day at a time. Loved that Essie treated herself to a haircut. Too bad that Mrs. Peterson had to ruin things. But since her husband had worked for Wonka... Can understand her suspicions. Hope this doesn't spell bad news though. Can't wait to see Charlie and Wonka get into next!
3/27 c20 7ABBAbethTheHamster
I SO want to hang around in that room with the toffee apple trees and Candy Cane Lane! It makes me think of the Chocolate Room, only without the river. Planting the trees sounds like fun!

I wonder where Mr. Wonka will take Charlie in the Wonkavator? I can't imagine that the former would want to go too far out, but I'll have to see. (Loompaland comes to mind for some reason, despite all logic to the contrary.)
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