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5/9 c1 thaqiftalip
Can I have inspiration?
4/26 c17 Seimika
Couldn't he take a upgrade task for either hybrid or his body changing magic to improve them?
4/23 c2 MonkeyDGabry
Sorry the story seems good but I'll have to abandon it. There is too much useless info.I can't be bothered to skip 50 % of each chapter and filter the useful story parts from useless data.
4/22 c11 Guest
Hey when u send him back to the high school of the dead please have him get Yuriko into his harem please, because she finds out that her husband has been cheating on her
4/22 c1 27Littica Marek
The largest issue I can see with how you have set this up is a large case of, too much too soon.

He is the equivelent of a New Game Character, a Jumpchainer on his 6th jump with a level reset world mod.

Well that or he had every endgame item the DLC cash shop offeres lol

Uness you have significantly inflated the threat level of this world the only thing I can see being a challange would be politics, moral choices and manipulation or backstabing.

Even then I expect the reaction to anything like that to be, "Ok, bugger you then I will do this on my own you lot can go and get yourselves killed"

I loo forwads to seeing what happens
4/21 c20 1Joe Lawyer
Overall, I really like this fic. Gamer fics are hard and I have a tremendous amount of respect for authors that write them. Keeping track of all those stats, constantly coming up with new perks and abilities and skills, and doing all the inherent math for leveling up. Mad respect.

Your fic has been very engaging. Your Gamer system has a measured progression, you've come up with a lot of unique perks/skills/etc., and most of the time the things he's given in the game inform and are used in chapters beyond the one it was introduced.

Now for things I would love to see improved. Gamer fics are about wish fulfillment fundamentally. For better or worse the Titans out there writing Gamer fics have made us all desire and expect a high level of sexuality in the genre. You had lemons here and there, but it took a long long time to eventually show up and even now it's been sporadic. The writing and the character's desires feel almost reluctant. That's not exactly ideal. It's supposed to be fun and a way to easily make this character who will before long be near god-like, relatable. Embrace the sexual side of this story and revel in it. Getting strong and gaining new abilities is great, but it's all about having fun. It's about going on an adventure and living the dream of a fan. It's about flipping the script just for the hell of it and banging the hot girls, something we never thought could happen. Embrace the fun and the wonder.

Finally, this Gamer has done a few things here and there that could be considered bad, but this story desperately needs a more edgy vibe. Again, it's about wish fulfillment, it's about doing whatever he wants and breaking taboos and doing stuff just because he can. I'm not saying go all murder hobo on everyone in sight, but there are levels. Even if his evil side, or that edginess is expressed only on doing bad things to the villains, that'd work. Bring that edginess to his sexual life too.

Again, I've enjoyed the work a lot and I'm looking forward to reading more in the future.
4/21 c17 Joe Lawyer
There is a large untapped source of EXP and knowledge lying untapped since Voldemort is no more. All those death eaters still imprisoned in Azkaban could be easily wiped out along with a few more dementors.

Has Kichi spoken to Bellatrix about having a harem? I'm sure she'd be fine with it, but damn, not even talking to her about it is a little ridiculous.

I know he's focused on Britain, but there are many magical traditions in the world. He should expand his information gathering to other countries. At this point he hasn't even gone after the low hanging fruit in the US and Australia which are English speaking countries. They probably know some magic that the British don't.
4/20 c14 Joe Lawyer
I think he's forgotten that he has that ultra lucky hour once per week perk. It hasn't shown up again since the first use.
4/19 c13 Joe Lawyer
Finally, the gamer virgin is no more! Thank the gamer Gods. It was seriously getting a little ridiculous. It was somewhat understandable, if a tad too realistic, that he wasn't interested in getting laid during an apocalypse, but there was no such justification in the HP universe. It also felt like a hole in his character development and something that made him both unrelatable and unlikable.

As for your first lemon. It was about what you'd expect for a first effort, not great but also not terrible. It needed to be longer for a start. I'd add a lot more sensory information and dirty talk and you'd see some real improvement. The more you write these scenes, the better it'll get. I know that from first hand experience with my own story.

Mjolnir is made of Uru, which I don't believe he has assimilated yet. Do none of his swords have a hammer form? There are plenty of war Hammer designs with blades attached. Maybe he can alter its form?
4/19 c12 Joe Lawyer
The virgin gamer continues.

These werewolves should have been far more suspicious of Lord Black offering to cure them for free. That needed to be in chapter. That should have been the thing that freaked them out the most and torpedoed the entire thing. No one does something this valuable for free. It's a giant plot hole and something that took me out of the story.
4/19 c20 GL
This reads like some crap Carlos Morgan Black fic. Why do you have so many accounts? You must have 1k crappy fics on this website alone!
4/18 c11 Joe Lawyer
He is not a healer working at St. Mungos who is obligated to heal whoever comes in the door. He's just a private citizen. Your writing makes no sense when it comes to these people. They'd first beg and plead for his help and offer him something to consider doing it. Lupin first and now the Green grasses would not just assume he'd help them. You've skipped a crucial step in the process. The thing with the Longbottoms at least made sense considering a Black of his new family caused the harm in the first place.

Ah 10k galleons. That came out of order. I also don't think it commensurate with the valuable service he's provided but maybe the alliance is worth more to him than the gold.

The virgin gamer continues in two different worlds. Does he have no desires at all? Is gamer's mind removing any sexual desire he should have? It makes no sense that nothing has happened. Is it the author's hang ups? Or some legitimate aspect of the story that hasn't been made clear? Does he need true love to have sex? Or does he only do something if there is a sufficiently rich quest motivating him? It's getting downright ridiculous. While I normally hate it when authors write fade to black sex scenes I'd probably take it in this case.
4/18 c11 Joe Lawyer
People are acting extremely strange with his healing abilities. Everyone seems to think that because he canp
4/18 c8 Joe Lawyer
I didn't fully agree with abandoning the sexual side of High School of the Dead, it's kind of a fundamental part of it in my opinion, like most Japanese anime of that style, but there was some logic in not having sex in the middle of an apocalypse in locations that weren't exactly secure. I'm curious, though, if those were just excuses. He won't be in the middle of an apocalypse in the world of HP. Will he accept offers being made or seize opportunities of that nature?

I guess we'll see!
4/14 c1 john777
good chapter
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