for Zero's Maple5/19/2020 c1 Guest
Seems like it could be an interesting story, but you need to be careful about over explaining things. You basically told us how Maple still thinks she's in the game multiple times in a row. Another example is Louise's reaction at the end, you basically explain what it happening though thoughts, narration, and dialog.
Seems like it could be an interesting story, but you need to be careful about over explaining things. You basically told us how Maple still thinks she's in the game multiple times in a row. Another example is Louise's reaction at the end, you basically explain what it happening though thoughts, narration, and dialog.
5/19/2020 c1 
8The Keeper of Worlds
Ok, I can see a ton of fun potential for this and I’m really eager for it.
8The Keeper of WorldsOk, I can see a ton of fun potential for this and I’m really eager for it.
5/19/2020 c1 reynard9234
Well this is a new level of obliviousnes tho considering mapel is an airhead nothing is impossible for her.
Well this is a new level of obliviousnes tho considering mapel is an airhead nothing is impossible for her.
5/19/2020 c1 iZuikaku
It would be funny if you give Maple the ability to log out, and for the entirety of the story she would think the entire event was just a very long story quest.
It would be funny if you give Maple the ability to log out, and for the entirety of the story she would think the entire event was just a very long story quest.