Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Blacksmith and Warrior

7/29 c1 1Gadget boy
I don't understand why you have low rating need numbers. This story is awesome and it really deserves more love.
7/16 c24 5dndkeg
Interesting so far that you're tying in the Gamerverse and a nod to Integral Factor into the main timeline to give your OC/MC a tie in. I see that your favorite SAO girls are part of the "harem" of your OC/MC but I digress XD.

I'll see you in the next one, stay cool!
6/26 c16 dndkeg
A very interesting story so far, curious about what will happen beyond Aincrad.
I'll see you in the next one, stay cool!
6/23 c1 2NarutoBladeMasterxX69XxRaven
not enough good fics with lisbeth in them. like this alot! keep up da good work 3
5/21 c2 4Tawnis
I forgot to mention this the first time around, but I'm quite a bit of a sucker for stories about either side characters, or ones behind the scenes. With so many people having been part of the front-liners and how few we actually got to see, I really like stories that weave in and around the existing events, even if you bent a few things here and there.

The first couple paragraphs where he refers to himself as "you" are kinda awkward. I get what you were going for but some of the phrasing is a bit off. It would work just as well and be a lot easier to phrase and read if he just talked about himself as I.

So... is Strea from one of the games or something? You write about her like we should know who she is, but having seen the show several times and having read Progressive, I've got no clue. She seems really important though, so that could really use some expansion.

I think that the banter is quite well written and it's very easy to see these scenes happening.

Looking forward to the next chapter. :)
5/21 c1 Tawnis
It's really cool to see a story with Lisbeth playing a more central roll, she doesn't get enough love (metaphorically or literally) so I'm looking forward to this one.

The first part being in third person present tense while the rest is in first was really weird. There didn't even seem to be that much reason for it as all the important info that was told there could have been done from Jaymes' POV.

A few SPaG issues here and there, but overall the chapter was fairly solid on the technical side.

Jaymes says it took 3 months to advance and clear floor 25, but it actually took just under 5. Nov 6th 2022 - March 31st 2023.

In the last section when Jamyes is having his little internal conflict, the paragraph gets a bit jumbly and hard to follow.

Overall though I quite liked this piece, it's a great start to your story and I look forward to reading more.
5/21 c2 1madtad1
Very nice, I look forward to your updates!

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service