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9/26/2020 c1 shadbin10
Could be better
9/25/2020 c7 PyroSnow
I really hope this is that type of ship *wink wink*!

Either way this is great can't wait for more
6/23/2020 c6 WrickyB
sudo more
6/17/2020 c6 2ArmantusCumPinnae
blasphemy! since when was 8man a flat chest group?(i have no qualms with it) i always though he like em big or at least well proportioned since he is a believer of the law of Bewbton and constantly commenting yuigahama's yuigahamas. also arent raspberry red? or is it the black raspberry? i usually though blue was those blueberries
6/17/2020 c6 BorderLand
The rumors that will come from this, poor Hachiman was hit by the disease of every harem protagonist. He is as dense as a rock.

I am looking forward to the other teachers reaction when they find out they are siblings trough I am sure by that time they will be so deep in their OTP that they would encourage incest and I would laugh on the floor.
6/14/2020 c5 Digifan474
I'm really enjoying this story so far! Keep up the great work
6/11/2020 c1 2MVPotato
Chapter 5 (edited) review:
Good edit. The pacing is better, and you are laying groundwork for future events like Rumi's situation and Komachi's current lack of spice in her life.

There is a small noticeable typo with "I wonder what those three two are doing now?" I'm guessing you are either referring to Yuigahama, Yukino, and Iroha or just Yuigahama and Yukino. I think "those two" makes more sense because perhaps talking one on one with Rumi about her current issues reminded him of the days he spent as part of the Service Club helping people with their issues. Talking with Rumi could remind him of helping Iroha, but Rumi's actions are not foxy like Iroha's.
6/8/2020 c5 6Renu
Lol oh no, I like both the teacher and the store clerk. The students are gonna think hachiman is a gigolo if he's not careful. Either ways, it's time to date ! Wooh
6/6/2020 c5 2MVPotato
I think the entirety of the chapter was a bit too rushed. Too many events being thrown at the reader in a relatively short chapter.

Sarenji's interruption seems like something straight out of To-Love-Ru, which does make sense given her name. The thing is that she is currently just an OC and has had minimal characterization. Nothing about this character interaction makes me more invested in this character. With pre-existing characters from Oregairu, you can lean on the characterization provided by the original content and even fanworks. But with OCs, you have to work harder to make readers care about them and any interactions involving them.

Rumi's bribe issue was that you introduced a problem and immediately solved it. Komachi has accepts being the new advisor with no complaints and Hikigaya finds the magical pudding cups by stopping by the convenience store like he always does. (I think he does? The phrasing was a bit weird in that section. Did he "gain" the pudding cups before coming back to the register?) I would liken this to a quest in a video game asking players to pick flowers next to the quest giver and to turn them into the quest giver. Very unsatisfying. Make it so there is some barrier for Komachi to becoming an advisor. Maybe you can use this to have Hachiman interact with some of your OCs, giving an opportunity to characterize them and make us care about them.

Use the pudding cups as a vehicle to introduce us to new characters or again, build on existing ones. Maybe the pudding cups have been discontinued and now Hachiman has to interact with characters on a quest to find remaining stocks of these pudding cups. It could be something simple like perhaps Hachiman becomes visibly dejected and Minari mentions that they may have some in storage. They could end up in a compromising position due to anime logic, and the way Minari reacts is what drives Hachiman to accidentally confess his attraction to her leading to a surprise date invitation. And end the chapter at that point. Or, you can do something kind of silly and have the pudding quest be like a cross-continental quest. He spends the entire day coming up empty handed as he goes to combinis, grocery stores, department stores, until he finally stumbles into a familiar face who leads him to his objective. (And in the end, the pudding cups weren't the real point. Rumi just wanted her favorite teacher to give her a present.)

As for the reason for Minari's date, I just don't care too much for this character at this point. The side-character love interest is kind of hard role to like unless you take the time to show why the side-character likes the main character and make the side character... adorable? An example would be Secretary-chan in another Oregairu fanfic called "Unmade." She's this side character that's pining for Hachiman and she's very cute. Her over-reactions to the women in his life make her have fun interactions with Hachiman, and she even has a mini-section later on in the story showing what made her fall for him in the first place. It was a fun, slightly bitter sweet character relationship.

Komachi's Eviction did seem somewhat random. It could have been from the building manager hearing Shiro mewing for her owner who didn't come home the previous night. You do need a reason for Komachi to move in with Hachiman and cause more misunderstandings. Maybe have Hachiman bargain with the current building manager, trying to save the place that he believed Komachi had come to see as a home away from home. But, perhaps Komachi never really felt the same since moving from home and once again being with her brother made her realize what she still really missed being with her family/brother. (depending on what flavor of drama you want)

Also, as a structure thing, you should put a line break of some sort when the scene changes. It just looks a bit unorganized the way the scene shifts without any visual indicator of a location/time change.

Your previous chapters seemed better since they didn't try to cram too much into one chapter.
6/5/2020 c5 cell
Hachiman would call her Miura, not Yumiko. Also its weird to keep the person of least significance from his past.
6/5/2020 c5 2ArmantusCumPinnae
Welp i can truly say it aint Hachiman if there be no misunderstandings. Also daam Rumi be liek a boss still able to ask for a bribe. Gues younger girls remain as 8man's weakness. He should be worried Rumi start her own yakuza gang. Also this be romcom. There still should be some leeway. More Rumi please a d looking forward to the next chap
6/3/2020 c4 muhammadhaykal21
i can see you want the misunderstanding become bigger
6/3/2020 c4 2MVPotato
I'm curious if this is going to end up as another "forbidden fruit relationship" story like Sunday Outing. The relationship is inherently spicy, but I like a bit more drama in stories. There seems to be quite a few characters in the story, so I can smell relationship misunderstandings and stuff developing.

It feels like you are going to keep the running joke that people don't think Hachiman and Komachi are related going for a while. Komachi or Hachiman being interrupted before they can clarify their relationship is very anime/trope-y, but it is kind of fun. Some people find it annoying, but I've learned to suspend my disbelief and just enjoy the ride for the most part.

Glad you managed to sneak Rumi into the story. She's a fun character for writers to play with since you can go a lot of directions with her character. I've seen a pretty wide spectrum of interpretations ranging from adoptive little sister, literally waiting-to-not-be-jail-bait, to straight up yandere. But, she's usually an absolutely wholesome character. Pixiv arwork number: 62934482 (Rated W for Wholesome)

But more importantly, I'm glad the cat was fed. I was worried for a second. I've heard stories of dogs starving and dying in their filth from their negligent owners/family...
6/3/2020 c4 2MonsterOfLogic
well the situation sure are hilarious... but... ahh I hate these kind of misunderstandings.
6/3/2020 c4 Guest
Can he not just say she’s his sister?
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