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6/14 c19 16SilentStarlightSky
I don't want your story to end because I'm having so much fun with it.

I really liked how you portrayed Seifer in this. His motivations and memories were interesting. It felt true to his character, but in reality, you made him seem more fancy and noble than he was in the game. He was shockingly cruel in a lot of FFVIII. In this he was actually being his version of kind. He was being mockingly respectful, diplomatic, and practical. He could've been A LOT worse. In the game, I always felt Rinoa was more attracted to Seifer than he was to her. I imagined her having a crush on him and he loved having an adoring fan to bolster his own ego. In my mind he was in love with himself. So it made sense how in your chapter Seifer didn't care about Rinoa in that way, other than the powerful opportunity it presented. (And nail clipping near somebody... gross.)

I like how you described the colors of everybody's magic. I should've seen that coming, but I never do.
6/14 c19 30Alessia Heartilly
I may be wrong, but I felt the beginning paralleled Squall's chapter. I hope I'm not mistaken because, if it's really a parallel, it's pure genius. It would also tie really nice with the ending. (also Rinoa, NOW you're journeying south? :D)
It's a great chapter and I loved how she managed to fight off both her enemies (trying not to spoiler). Such a scorn for both of them! But I don't think one of them is truly defeated. I expect a twist.
Can't wait for what's next. It will be a pleasure to read, I'm sure!
6/14 c19 9Rydia Pryde
You can't see me, but I'm anime-style waving my hands in excitement with giant watery eyes XD. This chapter might be my favorite. And no, it's not *just* because of the return of aristo-Seifer and his amazing bathtub. I'm glad Rinoa finally got her house in order. About time, and great job Rinoa! I guess all it took was the fear of being linked to Seifer XD (poor Seifer...someone will love you eventually, you giant prideful jerk). Now, hopefully Rinoa can reunite with Squall and can stop being so stubborn. I thought the way you wrote out the scenes of her fighting Adel/Seifer were beautifully done and wrapped up the previous chapters in a nice bow ;)
I actually didn't think Seifer was *that* huge of a jerk, tbh. He could have been way worse and seemed pretty on brand to me. Power hungry, Knight-thirsty, arrogant, sure, but that's about it. He was respectful to Rinoa, and as he pointed out, technically saved her life. He also didn't take advantage of her and proved himself to be both smart and perceptive (calling her out on not using the magic). My favorite touch was when Rinoa mentioned loving Squall and aristo-Seifer was all: Yeah...I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Just this once.
His biggest flaw was clipping his nails near someone. ARGGGHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO (worst noise ever).
5/17 c18 8LaylaEvercrest
Wow, what a chapter. First we get more canon Squall who is sulking and internally a hot mess of abandonment issues. I think you took a difficult topic (healing and finding resolve) and came full circle in a realistic way. Having him focus on how he sharpens his blade and tying it into his own idea of healing is a classic narration therapy route that I think Squall would utilize. I don't know why, but i love the line "Say it, or walk away." I felt Squall pop out while still in your Au version. It was small but delightful.

But the stand out feature of this is your paragraph about his mental and physical wounds- from infancy to now- forming the loose shape of a man. Ugh... weeping with feels. That slayed me. I can't wait for more. I love that the reader knows what the red light it but Squall and Ellone just shurgged it off. NOOOOOOO! I can't wait for more.
5/17 c18 30Alessia Heartilly
The opened is a punch in my feelings-gut. Poor guy! I actually felt a little moved to tears realizing how much he does love her.
This chapter is a wonderful piece of art in depicting the relationship between a heartbroken brother and his rebel sister. They are amazing. And the way she suggests using her powers and he refuses because he wants to respect Rinoa's wishes is so endearing, and such a stark contrast to the other men in Rinoa's life. And yet, when he asks her to try, he is so human and so relatable.
I can't wait to read what happens next. Both with Rinoa and with Squall. Also, Lagunaaaaaa! Be still my heart!
5/17 c17 Alessia Heartilly
Finally able to review!
The confrontation between Rinoa and her father is well done, although Caraway is way too cold. Ouch! I felt hurt for her. Also, the fact he managed to find out from her face what happened between her and Squall is a nice touch. But again, he is so cruel letting her go to Seifer on her own. She is sorceress, sure, but the man proved to be a little on the violent side. She's you daughter, Caraway!
I also agree with SilentStarlightSky, I wouldn't bother telling Seifer anything. This will be messy for sure, and I just hope it won't be Rinoa the one who'll suffer.
Thank you for updating!
5/10 c18 Rebekka
Love it
5/9 c18 16SilentStarlightSky
I loved the opener. The image of him whispering into the darkness was great. I really loved the entire feeling of this chapter. Squall's dark depression and pain were described really nicely. All the details were good, and it was so nice to see Ellone and Squall together. And I liked the musings about thoughtlessness, which would apply to both Laguna and Rinoa, haha. I liked Laguna's letter too. Laguna and Squall have some things in common. Love and loss. I wonder if non-fictional men have these sorts of feelings too. Probably not as much. Not as dramatic and lovesick.

I really love your writing.
5/8 c18 9Rydia Pryde
Yay! Okay, I love seeing a Squall-centric chapter. We haven't seen him in such a long time and most of the story has been from Rinoa's POV. It was nice to see how the bond severing has been affecting him.
Okay, Ellone dressing like she's nearly a spinster. I love this detail. They do this in the game too, she appears like she's pushing 40, when in reality she's only like 22-23?
Zell! Any Zell appearance is a win for me. Don't take him away from the library, Squall!
I'm glad Laguna is going to reconcile with his kids.
I do worry a bit about Squall seeing the presence of Adel in Rinoa's mind. If he can sense her, she can surely sense him and Ellone...*wrings hands*
5/8 c18 10Queen000
Oh damn, the feels! All of the feels!

Of course it wouldn't be that easy, though Squall at least has the first signs that something is amiss (the red wall - I think that's vague enough to avoid spoilers). Here's hoping he catches on to the reason.

And it's an interesting background for Ellone you've managed. A combination of game and fiction, and I like it. I understand now why things ended the way they did here.

Looking forward to the next chapter, wondering if we will continue on this thread or if we skip ahead.

Ciao *waves*
Queen000
4/19 c17 16SilentStarlightSky
Wow, Caraway has enough insight to know what Rinoa has been doing with Squall. Maybe HE is the one who is a sorceress. And then he makes fun of her magical ability too. You're a witch, but barely!
When the townspeople were reacting to Rinoa, I was wondering if she was either a mess or she was starting to take on weird physical attributes like Adel or Ultimecia. Skin tattoos, claws, oddly shaped eyes, or merely dirty and tangled hair. And I liked the little details like her doll house and other toys. I also like the detail about the portrait not being there. Nice.

If I were Rinoa I wouldn't bother telling Seifer anything.
4/18 c17 8LaylaEvercrest
I had to wait until morning to review because I was so tired, but I'm loving that internal war that is happening between Q and A within Rinoa. It adds a whole layer of narrative to the seen that was Caraway was completely unaware of. I kind of wish Adel won. Sexist pig. But omg omg... Seifer is coming. I wonder how you will "handle" this... Thank you for updating. I know it's a lot given what's going on in your life but it was a great treat to see this in my mail box. Wonder what my boy Squall is up to in the meantime...
4/17 c17 10Queen000
I sense blood in the near future.

But whose blood it will be remains to be seen. Here's hoping that some level of control lessens the amount, for blood shall be shed.

I really really enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to reading more (I am trying so SO hard not to drop spoilers into this review lol).

ciao *Waves*
Queen000
4/16 c17 9Rydia Pryde
When I was alerted that this was Chapter 17, I couldn't believe it! Wow, I never realized we were this far in. YAYYYYY.

Anyway, on to the review. I was waiting to see what a mess Rinoa looked given all the reactions. I guess, especially given Adel's magic as well, it's obvious she is a Sorceress (and a hot mess). You've webbed together a good mix of game-Rinoa, and this medieval-Rinoa. Her foolishness, her thinking that she is part of something when really she is the from the elite class, just trying to be normal.
I hate to agree with Caraway, but...Rinoa, you are a bit of a fool ;) I almost feel sorry for Caraway, he does want what's best for his daughter, as misguided and paternalistic as it is.

I'm (obviously) glad that we are going to see the return of aristo-Seifer. Will he try to be her Knight? Claim her as his Sorceress? Their confrontation can't go well. *sigh* Rinoa, you're killing me here. XD
3/12 c16 x Euphoria
Yaaas tell her Quistis. The bond is a good thing! I really love the battle that is going on inside Rinoa. Like it's such a very interesting concept to see written. You're doing a great job expressing the inner turmoil for sure.

I forgot to mention but the incorporation of the summons i absolutely love! It makes the world more magical.

Thanks so much for the update! Everything is getting so intense!
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